Lessons & Values from Repeat Sessions

[Lopsided Nobody]

I had my first toad experience in February. My experience was awe inspiring and very positive, and felt like becoming one with everything, losing connection with my body and identity. There was some slight instinctive resistance, but overall it was as smooth as what was a violent storm of an experience can be. I did three rounds, the first one was probably a moderate does. The second and third were larger doses and that's where I felt like I was one with God and the Universe and all creation and the Divine. Not a bad way to spend a Saturday afternoon, eh? The third felt unnecessary, but I wanted that to use for moving forward.

I did not experience God as an entity so much as, well, everything. And my guide described it as we are all God experiencing through ourselves. For me it felt like we are from the universe, but along those lines. It also felt like what I would describe as a "born again" washing away of everything. There was a rocketing away from our consensually shared reality, a dissolution of self, then an experience of what felt like clarity before my nervous system reconnected with my body. It really felt a LOT like what Christians describe as being born again, only in a highly visceral and experiential way.

My guide said for most people the effects tend to last for a year and then after a year a second round is useful as a reminder of what was learned/experienced. I also suspect that revisiting that experience after a year can help me reflect on the changes made, what old patterns I may have fallen into, and perhaps having the wisdom of the first experience and some time I may find something else comes from it. At worst, it will be a powerful experience and a reminder of...well, whatever the hell you want to call it.

As for my question, I am curious what those of you who do 5-MeO-DMT with any regularity, or who have simply done additional sessions after your first experience, have found you got out of it.

In a sense, it feels like I climbed the mountain, met or communed with God/Existence/whatever, and had the clear thought that nothing would ever be the same. There is both a sense of "what now?" as well as a sense of "What more am I really looking for from this?" There does not seem to be a need which I find is a great space to be in. Those questions are not meant to be negative at all, but rather open-ended questions to which I likely do not have a real concrete answer to. However, I am also open to having it be something I may learn from. Another psychonaut friend of mine does psychedelics twice a year as a sacrament and that also holds some resonance. I do not want do it just to do it, however I also like the idea of some sacred purpose. If I never do it again, I feel very much at peace with that. If repeat experiences somehow offer something of value, I am also very open to that as well.

I would love to hear any thoughts or experiences. Thank you in advance.

[Handshake]

Thank you for sharing this so openly. I really appreciate how you're holding both the awe and the humility of the experience. The way you describe the dissolution and then the clarity before reconnecting with your body captures something many people struggle to put into words.

One thing I'd gently offer is that there isn't really a universal timeline for how long "effects last." Some people feel meaningful shifts for years after one session. Others find that the acute memory fades but the deeper reorganization continues in subtle ways. Framing it as "most people need a reminder after a year" can sometimes unintentionally plant an expectation that something is supposed to wear off. In my experience, what endures most reliably is what gets integrated, not what gets repeated.

A lot of people describe that first encounter as climbing the mountain. Subsequent sessions, when they happen, often feel less like going higher and more like seeing the same landscape from a different angle. Sometimes that brings new insight. Sometimes it simply confirms what was already known. And sometimes it becomes clear that the real work is happening in ordinary life, not in returning to the peak.

I really resonate with your question of "What now?" That's often the most important phase. If there's no sense of need, that's actually a very grounded place to be. The impulse to repeat can come from devotion, curiosity, avoidance, habit, or genuine calling. It can take some honest self-inquiry to discern which is operating.

Some people who revisit do so with very specific intentions around patterns they've noticed resurfacing. Others find that repetition doesn't add much and instead deepen their practice through therapy, community, service, or contemplative work. There isn't a right answer.

If you never do it again and feel complete, that's valid. If you return in a year and it feels aligned and intentional, that's valid too. The more interesting question, in my view, is how the experience is shaping how you relate to others, to your nervous system, to your values, and to your daily life.

Curious what shifts, if any, you've noticed in how you move through the world.