Main Menu

I did it!!!!

Started by Enaltamar2, March 04, 2020, 08:59:00 AM

Previous topic - Next topic


Well, I did it!!!!!!!!!! Just came back from a wonderful retreat yesterday and the experience was all I hoped for and waaaaay more.
Was terrified on-and-off for weeks leading into it, but, after meeting the group and being in the beautiful retreat space - outdoors, perfect weather, surrounded by gorgeous rocky mountains, had much more manageable anxiety.

We had a first ceremony on the third day of the retreat, where I vaped 8 mg and two days later 3 consecutive takes with about half that dose ea. round.

The first ceremony: brief(?) total "white-out" initially, soon followed by a sense of complete dissolution, bliss, exhilaration, incredibly powerful energy, followed by being conscious of being in that magical, divine space (my favorite part maybe), and of having survived the experience. Ongoing feeling of surrender and letting go, breathing into it, basking into it, loving it.  Gratitude to the facilitators, to the other retreat participants ("family") for making it possible to feel comfortable and trusting enough to completely surrender. Opening eyes and seeing blue sky, laughing with joy. Sitting up and looking at circle of people surrounding me with awe, love, and more gratitude. Leaving circle to lie on the grass nearby with warm sunshine falling on me. Deep, deep release. Perfection.

Second ceremony, two days later, 3 separate takes. On each of the 3 rounds we take the medicine two people at a time until we are all experiencing it at once (we're 8 participants), then a brief brake, then we all go again.
With first round of smaller dose I immediately completely release again, possibly even further that with the first big dose. The waking up period even more relaxing, nice not to feel like others are waiting for their turn. Savoring for as long as I please. Even stronger loving feeling towards other members, since it's more of a communal ceremony. Second round, after initial bliss, doing some deep personal work, with very clear insights on the "shadow side", then, a third round of self-forgiveness and resolution to do better from now on.

Apart from the ceremonies, we had at least one group integration meeting a day, with very helpful breathing exercises, conversations and theoretical framing of what we were experiencing, and, of course, "de-briefing" of each person's experiences. Wonderful container for taking this medicine, with super trained, loving, knowledgeable facilitators. Would be happy to mention names but not sure if that's something I'm allowed to do in this forum.


It sounds like you sure did do it !!
I sent you a pm.  Apologies for the delay.
Welcome fellow traveler.  <3   So happy you're here... Joy!



Wonderful to hear you had such a beautiful ceremony Enaltamar.  _/|\_