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To Infinity and Beyond and Then Beyond that.My First Trip.

Started by SunOThoth, February 19, 2020, 01:31:05 PM

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My experience with toad.
I was told that the amount was 10mg,although that could easily be questioned,vaporized out of a glass bulb,set and setting was extremely chill,thick warm blankets lots of pillows outdoors on a warm summer day,I begin to inhale,being told to take in as much as possible,it gets to the point that the vapor is coming out of my nose.As I continue to inhal,the lady helping me started to fade away,rainbow colors start to radiate off of her darkened silhouette,I close my eyes,lay back and a thought pops up. " I THINK TO MUCH" the thought repeats " I THINK TO MCUH" the more it repeat the faster it gets,the words start to meld together until it's one powerful OMMMMMMMMM.
ALL is white I am the vibration,I am the the void.I got a feeling of pure loving awareness,but surprisingly what I enjoyed more was the speed,going past emotions.Blasting through the walls that structure infinity. What was experienced was pushing boundaries of reality building and creating a more pristine form of perfection,but boy oh boy did I love the speed!!
And just like that fades back to black and I'm back,feeling really good,apparently I was tossing and turning,punching the pillows and laughing the whole time.As I start to sober up,I start talking about my experience and how warm I felt.I start to feel this surge of energy going through me,I start breathing deeply making these primal sounds like a dang chimp,it begins to become rhythmic I get to the point where I'm screaming until I can't breath anymore I sit up and feel reality being pushed back onto me almost like I was being rebuilt,I felt the weight of my body again,it felt as if I was being pushed into a position that I didn't want to be in,I start the bite at the blanket trying to tear through this reality to absorb it fully and be whole again all the while screaming through my teeth,I could have lost a tooth from how hard I pulled.I lost my breath fell back and sobered up again.
The people asked me what happened and I really couldn't answer truthfully,it felt like my body not me,was going back in and had an extremely primal reaction.
Come time to go to bed I fall asleep super easy but wake up to feeling like i was out of breath but only needed air when i needed it,it felt like a vibration coming out of my chest an extremely peaceful anxiety my heart was on fire and I couldn't feel my hands something told me
"these things are expensive"I'm guessing it's a give and take type thing,heavy body load and yet I feel like I'm floating,I started to practice a different breathing technique slowly working into the deepest breaths that I could handle,it feels like my chest is going to implode,when I'd focused on the sound it would sound like a really light buzzing.
At the time I didn't know what it meant to "let go"
I understood the concept,but never felt it,I've had more trips than I'd like to admit but have learned to melt into the vibe and really let go,slightly more experienced now as this trip was about a year ago,I've come across some synthetic and am excited for some practice.

1.What is the typical feeling of trajectory on these trips?

2.Why does the body react the way it does with screaming/primal?

3.what is your most simple [size=78%]rudimentary [/size][/size][size=78%]practice for integration?[/size]

4.Is it typical to have 3 differently timed experiences with just one session?


To me personally it sounds like you may have beer given way too much.
What makes me say this? Because so much of the experience you had no idea what was going on and you are left feeling confused and disoriented. This experience does not need to be that way at all. In fact, done properly, 5-MeO-DMT can often leave people in a very relaxed, peaceful state.

The screaming/primal reactions can be for so many reasons we can't say anything for sure. Perhaps it is related to a previous experience that you had in which you were unable to express terror, perhaps it was your reaction to the experience yourself. We don't actually know and it's very difficult to determine without knowing who you are or having had contact with you personally during the experience.

Most simple practice for integration? Journaling or talking with a therapist that knows about psychedelics. Psychedelic.Support is a great resource for finding people like that.