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Many people become more egocentric and inflated after their "death" instead of the opposite... What do you think about that? James Oroc writes in his Tryptamine Palace:
The effect of LSD on the ego has been likened to the effect of hard exercise on muscle. LSD shreds the ego, but—just as a muscle rebuilds larger and stronger after being "torn down" by hard exercise—so too can the ego actually strengthen after years of repetitive high-dosage LSD use. This would explain a lot about the egomaniacal blowouts of the apparent leadership of the "psychedelic movement"...

My third experience was really something else. A split second of visuals before everything switched off. Complete nothingness. I became aware of my body suspended in this vast space and realised that I was not just a part of that nothing, but I WAS nothing. Immediately I felt this incredible sense of absolute love and understanding, and a realisation that I was a part of everything.

Great to hear that! Could you tell what was your ROA and the dosages of your first three experiences?

The procrastination ruined my life. I procrastinate everything, my actions, my joy, my entire life. Even this writing right now. I tried almost everything and nothing helped...
I cannot see the Light yet but felt this place as light and hope...
Happy to find you!