I recently had my first sessions with 5 and am happy to have found this Forum to bounce some thoughts and feelings around here.
I had waited 3 years to do this medicine and I am now sure as to why I waited. I did 2 rounds of insufflation of 5mg then 15 minutes later, 7.5mg. Right after insufflating the 7.5 I totally blanked out and then caught myself catapulted at light speed towards complete unknown. My authentic self and its voice found me(no idea how long this took) and told me I had to come back or I would be lost in this void forever. There was no support even though I was with a group of 8 others and when needing help they were busy with another participant as there were only 2 people supporting.
As I started to come back, yet still very deep in the medicine, I was completely disregulated and sweating profusely. I literally sweated out my clothes and within an hour they were dry again. I fortunately had a litre of water with me and that was consumed during the latter part of this session. I was in and out over approx. 1hr to 1hr 15minutes till I started to settle again. I have no idea where I went other then I truly felt I was going towards insanity. I have done Ayahuasca in a therapeutic setting over the last 10 years and only purged at this level once before in an 8 day Dieta with Rose and Hawthorne with 3 sessions of Aya. I have had difficult sessions yet nothing like this ever came through. Doing 5 was so intense in this way for me! After this initial experience I wasn't sure I wanted to do any more medicine yet I calmed my system enough to feel into doing it with a small amount and felt that I would be ok with smoking one hit of 5-6mg that was dosed out in a water pipe. This session was after a break of around 30 minutes and was much gentler even though I felt the sensation of getting launched and then ever so quickly coming back with tears of gratitude coming through. I have little memory of where I went in this second session yet did not feel any related panic or terror I felt in the insufflation process.
I would love to hear more about others experiences and am definitely open to share more of my experience here. I have been left feeling confused yet coming back to curiosity now as I resettle into my day to day. I am also able to admit that I had a lot going on in my personal life, being with a complete set of strangers, and being in a big city and its collective energy definitely played into this. I have also been very cognizant of the sheer lack of integration process. I had to call the person who offered the session to share and query what had happened as I felt I had been given too much. It took me a few days to find the words to share that allowed me to see and feel what was and is my own experience.
Thanks for any helpful thoughts and/or direction as I am still very open to doing more of this medicine, building up over time.
I had waited 3 years to do this medicine and I am now sure as to why I waited. I did 2 rounds of insufflation of 5mg then 15 minutes later, 7.5mg. Right after insufflating the 7.5 I totally blanked out and then caught myself catapulted at light speed towards complete unknown. My authentic self and its voice found me(no idea how long this took) and told me I had to come back or I would be lost in this void forever. There was no support even though I was with a group of 8 others and when needing help they were busy with another participant as there were only 2 people supporting.
As I started to come back, yet still very deep in the medicine, I was completely disregulated and sweating profusely. I literally sweated out my clothes and within an hour they were dry again. I fortunately had a litre of water with me and that was consumed during the latter part of this session. I was in and out over approx. 1hr to 1hr 15minutes till I started to settle again. I have no idea where I went other then I truly felt I was going towards insanity. I have done Ayahuasca in a therapeutic setting over the last 10 years and only purged at this level once before in an 8 day Dieta with Rose and Hawthorne with 3 sessions of Aya. I have had difficult sessions yet nothing like this ever came through. Doing 5 was so intense in this way for me! After this initial experience I wasn't sure I wanted to do any more medicine yet I calmed my system enough to feel into doing it with a small amount and felt that I would be ok with smoking one hit of 5-6mg that was dosed out in a water pipe. This session was after a break of around 30 minutes and was much gentler even though I felt the sensation of getting launched and then ever so quickly coming back with tears of gratitude coming through. I have little memory of where I went in this second session yet did not feel any related panic or terror I felt in the insufflation process.
I would love to hear more about others experiences and am definitely open to share more of my experience here. I have been left feeling confused yet coming back to curiosity now as I resettle into my day to day. I am also able to admit that I had a lot going on in my personal life, being with a complete set of strangers, and being in a big city and its collective energy definitely played into this. I have also been very cognizant of the sheer lack of integration process. I had to call the person who offered the session to share and query what had happened as I felt I had been given too much. It took me a few days to find the words to share that allowed me to see and feel what was and is my own experience.
Thanks for any helpful thoughts and/or direction as I am still very open to doing more of this medicine, building up over time.