Author Topic: Post-experience struggles/issues  (Read 27 times)

Offline knulp

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Post-experience struggles/issues
« on: June 10, 2018, 03:56:33 PM »
Hi,


Had my first 5-meo experience yesterday via inhaling vaporized toad venom. It was as expected beyond intense and unlike anything I've ever experienced. I don't know that I'd say it was 100% positive, but it wasn't really negative per se either. Maybe felt the unitive nature of things right in the beginning but recall it more like seeing it, and hearing it, and energetically feeling it, but not feeling 100% IT myself, more like witnessing it very closely.


Then there was a good 40 min of tons of energy moving through me, dry heaving, feeling like I was vomiting energy. Going back and forth between getting pulled back to my ego/reality and releasing into the energetic totality of what was happening.


Anyway afterward there wasn't much integration/care from the providers. I was offered to share w/them if I wanted to but I was in no space to talk or make sense of what happened. They also didn't smile at me much which I really don't think helped things. I went and sat alone in nature for a while and some dude waiting his turn came over to me wanting to hear about my experience, very friendly but I wish I didn't speak to him. I was ok just chilling and watching the vibrancy of the green grass etc., and basking in the thankfulness that I wasn't permanently tripping, as I thought I was for the first couple of minutes upon coming back from the 2-3 minute ego-/self-less release after inhaling the medicine.


That was about 30 hours ago. I came home and had a headache for several hours that was pretty bad. It went away and I was able to sleep pretty well last night. I woke up feeling pretty good and soon realized I was a bit altered, like the beginning or end of a mushroom trip. That has waxed and waned all day today, about eight hours now. It was pleasant in the morning, especially when I went for a walk in nature. I came back and meditated w/sound however, which is my usual practice, and I'd say things haven't been so rosy since then. I read the conclave's integration guidelines and I see this is not advised for grounding. I think I'm in definite need of grounding.


I walked more in nature and even mowed the lawn, and these things seemed to help. When I lay down or sit around I start to feel "off," uncomfortable, and a slight creeping feeling that I fucked up by doing 5-meo or that the providers fucked me over by their nonchalant care ...


I guess my questions are: is this next-day trippiness common? I don't see much about it when I look online for it. Most accounts talk about the experience being over w/in 40 min and then potential reactivation of the full release state, but not this low-grade tripping sensation.


Also I am wondering about my diet: I approximated an ayahuasca diet for about three days prior to yesterday, and am still doing it. I feel like I should probably start to eat more like I usually eat, which is very healthy regardless but includes a lot of oils that are no-nos on the aya diet--olive, avocado, grass-fed butter, coconut. I think I thrive w/a lot of healthy fats so I wonder if this is part of why I'm feeling like I am. It seems intuitive to me to start eating normally again but I'm scared, I don't want to screw anything up any more than I may already have (which, who knows, maybe my psychological makeup is just too sensitive for 5-meo?). I did read that smoking the medicine bypasses the gut so the normal amazonian diet rules don't really apply, but I'm still scared..


Finally I'm thinking of reaching out to an energy healer I've had great success w/in general ... haven't seen her in close to two years but it seems like a good time to get an appointment booked. Again I see this as recommended in the conclave guidelines but now there's this nagging suspicion that I can't trust my decisions and I'm going to make things worse somehow ...


So, just reaching out for some support. If anyone has any kind words of encouragement that would probably make the most difference at this point, but I'm also genuinely after some info about diet and whether this low-grade tripping is common. Seeing as this is one of if not the most powerful enthoegens around, I feel like it's not the craziest thing to still be feeling altered the next day ... but again, I haven't read about that elsewhere.


Fwiw I've never done ayahuasca or n,n, dmt, only mushrooms, peyote, opium, hash, and pot. I used to do a lot of those things, especially pot and mushrooms, and stopped like 15 years ago. Had a low-dose mushroom experience in October of 2017 and that's been it since like 2003. So I feel like maybe that helps make sense of how affected I am, but I read about people who've never done psychedelics doing 5-meo and having blissful experiences the whole way through ...


Thanks a lot-

Offline RoundAbout

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Re: Post-experience struggles/issues
« Reply #1 on: June 11, 2018, 10:53:34 AM »
I've actually never used 5-MeO, but perhaps I have had similar post-trip alteration due to extremely strong experiences with another relatively non-visual psychedelic, morning glory.

For about 2-3 days my visual and auditory processing would sometimes flip back to altered states, and I consistently constructed sentences in strange ways if I didn't consciously avoid doing so. It waned strongly later in the week,  only showing itself when I was tired or otherwise stressed, then to baseline by the end of the week. I'm sure there is a lot of detailed information on integration and recovery; my method was simply to return to my ordinary positive habits, avoid destabilizing circumstances, and not over-think things.

I wish you well, please update in the future to let us know how things are going.

Offline knulp

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Re: Post-experience struggles/issues
« Reply #2 on: June 11, 2018, 04:21:50 PM »
Thanks a lot for sharing your experience, definitely helps.


My day continued as mentioned in my other post, and I had a difficult night's "sleep" of shivering, energy moving through me, waking up twice into what I guess were mini reactivations ... But I actually felt decent this morning. Aside from an unsettling tripping experience at work, things have mellowed out. I took most of the day off and went to the energy healer I mentioned. Just returned from that and feeling pretty grounded, well, very grounded if compared to yesterday. Eating heavier foods and that seems to be going fine too.


I posted asking for assistance on the tripsit site yesterday too and got one reply, but it kind of sums up my general thinking about things at the moment: "You hit yourself in the head with a psychedelic hammer--it's going to leave a mark."

Offline knulp

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Re: Post-experience struggles/issues
« Reply #3 on: June 13, 2018, 06:36:40 AM »
Anyone else able to offer any feedback on any of this? I slept well two nights ago after my session w/the energy healer; yesterday morning had 1 cup of green tea, first caffeine since my toad experience, and was pretty buzzy for a while but not too out there. Then one slightly trippy interlude feeling like I was floating off into space in the early evening for about 20 min.


However last night I barely slept at all. Went to bed a little after 11pm, woke up at midnight in the full trippiness/energy pulses/feelings of nausea...this went on all night. There were moments of moving into full reactivation but it never got that complete. I went outside for a 1/2 hour and felt decent, however laying back down it all started again. Seemed to really be at its worst lying down. Lying on my back, trying to stay symmetrical, does seem to help but it's still extremely uncomfortable. Like a virus is moving through me.


Fell asleep from 5/5:30 to 7am. Woke in the throes of it all again, finally got up at 8 and it's better when I stand/sit, so I'm not laying back down till tonight.


Any thoughts? Again I keep reading about involuntary reactivation but it seems like it's more a dissolving into the nondual state. This is very physical and uncomfortable.


Any moderators or really experienced users around to comment? I would really appreciate it.


Thank you-

Offline patti3000

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Re: Post-experience struggles/issues
« Reply #4 on: June 13, 2018, 10:20:48 AM »
I've had my first experience with toad about a month ago and also had an intense integration time afterwards with many  reactivations and almost no sleep (for about a week). At first the reactivations were quite scary and overwhelming but I started to appreciate them more and more as they got less intense with time. I would advise you to try to be as accepting and open as possible towards those feelings. Just think of it as energy that still needs to be processed. Try to go with it and let it work itself out in whatever way needed.
Regarding sleep: I've found 5-HTP to help a lot with sleeping, I don't know for how long the insomnia would have continued if I hadn't tried it.
I'm sorry that your providers acted in such a poor way. But in the end I'm sure the experience will prove to be a good thing and a beneficial landmark on your path..

Offline knulp

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Re: Post-experience struggles/issues
« Reply #5 on: June 13, 2018, 12:01:30 PM »
Thank you very much patti3000, that's really helpful to hear.