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General Discussion / A theory on how serotonergic p...
Last post by IzakielSturge - November 15, 2025, 07:22:44 PMthe Dhammapada:
Chapter VII: the Venerable (Arhat)
94. The gods even envy him whose senses, like horses well broken in by the driver, have been subdued, who is free from pride, and free from appetites.
It is probably not possible to be without pride entirely, and there is at least a chance that the nervous system needs the slightest amount of pride to function correctly.
This quote connects control of the senses, and lack of "appetites" (desire), to the transcendence of pride. Possibly the original language before transcribed over hundreds of years without a printing press contains the meaning of minimizing pride.
This paper links dopamine to extroverted personality, and drugs like heroin and cocaine/meth subjectively seem to me to fill the users with pride, and most classic psychedelics, which primarily agonize serotonin but secondarily agonize dopamine, seem to have induced in me mainly an increase in love but secondarily a significant increase in pride.
This paper links serotonin to spiritual feelings (a type of love).
It is well known that antipsychotics usually primarily inhibit serotonin and/or dopamine. 5-htp (which is the precursor of serotonin, increases serotonin levels, but taken without l-dopa, the precursor to dopamine, also decreases dopamine levels) has seemingly been shown in at least one case to reduce the frequency of hallucinations. This is evidence, not proof, that increasing serotonin levels simultaneous to decreasing dopamine levels can reduce or eliminate hallucinations even if serotonin levels are significant.
It is suspected that serotonin and dopamine are the primary causes in inducing hallucinations: a source. I have also seen mentioned here that glutamate imbalance, another theory of schizophrenia, increases the brain's supply of dopamine.
Much of the history of mysticism is about the transcendence of desire. Ancient mystics seemed to swim in psychedelic quantities of love, often from meditation or prayer, without experiencing hallucinations and delusions.
In this paper, low serotonin levels are connected to premature ejaculations because desire cannot be staved off. The same paper connects dopamine as a if not the primary cause of the onset of sexual desire. If serotonin helps one resist desire, it stands to reason that elevated serotonin levels on psychedelic drugs could result in a spiritually uplifting sexual experience, wherein orgasm does not occur until many hours have passed. The kind of sexual tantra popularized in the West (to the disappointment of many of the adepts of the non sexual aspects of the various tantric traditions - in as far as they would prefer more attention be focused on those non sexual aspects) has even been linked by psychedelic drug users like Robert Anton Wilson to psychedelic usage, in spite of that many users claim to have too little desire while intoxicated on hallucinogens to experiment.
Pain killers possess a component of tranquilization and stimulation, and "speed" (cocaine, methamphetamine, ect) stimulation without tranquilization. I believe this stimulation is caused by the impulsive nature of pride, that the drug augments pride so much the nervous system cannot help but move at a particular speed. I suspect that love is without an instinctive nature until it interacts with other emotional and/or neurotransmitter systems, providing it a creative capacity to move in any direction. When high levels of love/creativity interact with high levels of pride/impulsiveness, I suspect impulsive creative inferences tend to occur in the form of delusions and hallucinations.
The basic idea that I have is not only that elevated levels of love and serotonin are possible without hallucinations, but also that while pride and dopamine regulate the body off of instinctive drives and instinctive memory retrievals (the most familiar response in similar situations, or the most familiar confident response if fearless - mimicry if no memory of a response has yet been stored), love and serotonin possesses the same control over the nervous system at the level of raw choice.
Although reports vary, some research into placebo suggests that what our nervous system identifies as the truth becomes the truth, even to the extent of healing major ailments and rejecting allergens.
The popular story of the mother who lifts a car to save her child suggests to me that while pride identifies the physical limitations etched in memory, love, in this instance the love of a mother, has the ability to max out the nervous system's resources, so long as there is no time to reflect on the odds of success.
Some of my theory is rooted in personal experience.
Page 151 of Bloodline of the Holy Grail: the Hidden Lineage of Jesus Revealed by Laurence Gardner connects the Bors lineage to the mythic Merovingian bloodline of Christ. My mother's maiden name is Bowers, which is rooted in the German Bauer lineage (also the root bloodline of the Rothschildes). This could be a coincidence, but my brain chemistry seems peculiar to me, yet typical of the Bowers side of my family.
During the elementary school years, I was diagnosed with ADD, which is considered rooted in a dopamine deficiency. I was prescribed a stimulant, and didn't feel any effects while on it. A relative on the Bowers side of the family told me that when she was prescribed ADD meds (a stimulant, again), she thought it was supposed to make her sleepy, and that she didn't experience any increase in energy.
I quote a Bowers ancestor who used cocaine, "Cocaine is not a stimulant." I myself smoked crack laced weed and it seemed like regular weed to me, but my friends were acting as if they were extremely addicted. If you inhaled it slowly, it tasted sort of like plastic.
Pain killers, such as hospital prescribed morphine injections for a broken leg, just made me slightly or extremely sleepy, and had no narcotic effect. However, street obtained hydrocodone or oxycodone, even at far lower dosages than the morphine, while of very little effect by themselves, became a narcotic when I combined them with pot. A potent enough narcotic that I was obviously on something fairly strong besides the pot itself.
On strong hallucinogenics, I would experience the profoundest love based high, such that in those days I thought it made no sense it was possible the human brain could sustain it. For a basis of comparison, alcohol was about 50 times better than sober, weed several hundred times better than sober, DXM thousands of times better than sober, and my first couple times on acid and mushrooms made DXM seem like smoking a cigarette. I took three tabs of LSD my first "trip", over half a ten strip my second "trip", and usually when I did mushrooms I took the equivalent of about 6 grams.
I never experienced any hallucinations on any of the drugs I took, with the exception of visual distortions on alcohol, dxm, and various depressants. No colors or trails or anything, just inhibited depth perception and falling in and out of near-sleep.
Since the LSD and the mushrooms were obtained from the streets (some of the mushrooms were baked into chocolates, but some actually were just dried mushrooms), I eventually tested my brain chemistry on about 140 or so Hawaiian Baby Woodrose seeds from a verified source, ground them up into a fine powder and swallowed with an energy drink. The feeling was the same, just far, far less potent than what I was used to, but still better than DXM. And still no hallucinations.
I am deeply interested in 5-meo-DMT, but the closest I have come to it is a verifiable batch of low potency ayahuasca. It felt similar to LSD, shrooms, or LSA, but far weaker because it was such a low dose I almost didn't obtain lift-off at all. It felt somehow mellower.
I smoked cigarettes on and off from ages 12 to about age 20, and never got addicted. I never felt the slightest craving if I didn't have one, and smoked them because of peer pressure and a mild but pleasant light headed feeling that eventually went away - so I permanently quit.
I suspect that if Bors means Bowers and I am indeed a Merovingian, a bloodline tradition of mysticism has shrunken my dopamine receptors because of mysticism's inhibition of pride and transcendence of desire. This could explain the peculiar way in which my brain chemistry reacted to drugs.
In addition to hallucinogenic drug usage and pot smoking, I was regularly self programming with a system of initiation I invented. During one of the initiation ceremonies, I lost almost all of my pride and learned to love in an attachment free manner. I had no attachments, and beauty became completely subjective.
The initiation was performed on some variety of purple dank weed. The high, from nearly 20 years ago, lasted to this day, because my heart would not stop expanding.
Shortly after this initiation, I meditated on stilling the mind, and impulsive thoughts permanently left me.
Experiment has proven to me I can generate any emotion I want by focusing and making the attempt, and I can even manifest an attraction for anyone I want - but I have no attraction unless I willfully generate one.
Situational triggers cannot impact my perpetual happiness.
Before I awakened to indiscriminate love, I cried for days if a pet gerbil passed away. After, I would not shed a tear even if my favorite relatives died.
I can also speed up or slow down the energy level of my mind or body at will. To some extent, the average person does this when rushing to get things done - but I believe this can be carried extremely far if you do not identify a particular limit.
Ram Dass Gives Maharaji the "Yogi Medicine" - this is an anecdotal tale wherein hallucinogenics don't work anymore for certain advanced meditators. I suspect this is because mastery of various yogas, perhaps with the assistance of psychedelic drugs like DMT, so elevates one's natural serotonin levels that there is nothing for the psychedelics to do. I am curious what Maharaji would do if he was provided a high dose of 5-meo-dmt instead of LSD-25.
Closing Thoughts
I believe that serotonin and dopamine are linked to love and pride, and that love and pride interact to induce hallucinations - on most kinds of psychedelic drugs, including 5-meo-dmt.
Pride seems to me to be the source of the impulsiveness of hallucinations and delusions, because an impulsive energy. The fuel source of an instinctive complex that impulsively retrieves memories of past experiences to determine how to respond to situations, and cannot help but respond a finite number of ways based on those memories.
One kind of memory retrieved impulsively is the instructions: if the individual responds out of pride to diverse situations wherein hir is perfect of confidence, having witnessed the task performed correctly or it been explained properly, the task is executed perfectly based upon that memory. If there is lack of confidence, the instinctive complex identifies that it is veering to the side of accuracy in reproducing the information in memory, so the task is performed incorrectly.
I have never felt the effects of "speed", but they subjectively seem to me, based on what I have read and observed in users, to drastically augment pride and impulsiveness. I suspect this is because pride is itself impulsive forward momentum, and that dopamine, which speed is well documented to increase, increases or corresponds to increased pride *somehow. Maybe it is pride, maybe they are just linked together.
When I took psychedelics, they usually seemed to increase pride and especially increase love. Since they are known to have an affinity for dopamine, but a far higher affinity for serotonin, I suspect that serotonin may be linked to feelings of love - and there is scientific research that backs this suspicion.
My quest for spiritual enlightenment, my exploration of various drugs and consciousness expansion techniques, and my intuition into past scientific research, indicates to me that love is non-impulsive, but otherwise runs the nervous system similarly to pride. Instead of instinctive memory retrieval, there is choice and creativity. Choice because there is no instinct requiring a particular action, and creativity because of that but also because of the lack of a polarity between safety/confidence and fear/unfamiliarity, there is comfort and safety in exploring new territory.
Since if impacted love can move in any direction, if pride impacts love, as well as the emotional instinctive complex it fuels, it is likely to be creatively magnified. An inference occurs in the direction pride impacts love,
And that inference could be a hallucination or a delusion.
In the case of mystical experiences, perhaps it feels inherently mystical to be uplifted by overwhelming quantities of love, and so impulsive mystical inferences are magnified and manifested creatively - as hallucinations.
The most interesting thing to me is what would result if there were only creativity and little to no instinctiveness. Both serotonin and dopamine are inhibited to minimize the frequency of hallucinations. And 5-htp in at least one case study was administered successfully to treat hallucinations, even although it increases serotonin levels (while decreasing dopamine levels).
To be 100% in control of the creativity could induce a very high quality state of self determinism, and you would be in control of whether or not you experienced visions/imaginary sensory data. You could probably retrieve "spiritual insights from the cosmos" at will (the 8th circuit of Leary's model).
There may be something about psychedelic drugs that makes the average person hallucinate no matter what. Perhaps they directly interact with the dopamine system, or maybe something else is happening. I would never advise meditating on releasing pride while going up on psychedelics to resist hallucinations, because the level of self control required is probably rare and it is plausible the drug physically amplifies dopamine and pride levels regardless of one's self mastery.
If psychic powers were real, and psychic shroomers travelled together, it could be possible to hold down the pride of one's recognizance partner as a trip sitter.
But in the real world, where psychics and superpowered yogis likely don't exist, maybe it is enough to meditate when sober on generating love, on having an open heart, and on minimizing pride.
I consider it possible to be "high all the time" on psychedelic quantities of serotonin without experiencing HPPD, without hallucinations or delusions - existing in a state of focus that is even superior to sobriety, & would like to promote underground research, where legal, into how to obtain the yogi Maharaji's immunity to "the yogi medicine".
Chapter VII: the Venerable (Arhat)
94. The gods even envy him whose senses, like horses well broken in by the driver, have been subdued, who is free from pride, and free from appetites.
It is probably not possible to be without pride entirely, and there is at least a chance that the nervous system needs the slightest amount of pride to function correctly.
This quote connects control of the senses, and lack of "appetites" (desire), to the transcendence of pride. Possibly the original language before transcribed over hundreds of years without a printing press contains the meaning of minimizing pride.
This paper links dopamine to extroverted personality, and drugs like heroin and cocaine/meth subjectively seem to me to fill the users with pride, and most classic psychedelics, which primarily agonize serotonin but secondarily agonize dopamine, seem to have induced in me mainly an increase in love but secondarily a significant increase in pride.
This paper links serotonin to spiritual feelings (a type of love).
It is well known that antipsychotics usually primarily inhibit serotonin and/or dopamine. 5-htp (which is the precursor of serotonin, increases serotonin levels, but taken without l-dopa, the precursor to dopamine, also decreases dopamine levels) has seemingly been shown in at least one case to reduce the frequency of hallucinations. This is evidence, not proof, that increasing serotonin levels simultaneous to decreasing dopamine levels can reduce or eliminate hallucinations even if serotonin levels are significant.
It is suspected that serotonin and dopamine are the primary causes in inducing hallucinations: a source. I have also seen mentioned here that glutamate imbalance, another theory of schizophrenia, increases the brain's supply of dopamine.
Much of the history of mysticism is about the transcendence of desire. Ancient mystics seemed to swim in psychedelic quantities of love, often from meditation or prayer, without experiencing hallucinations and delusions.
In this paper, low serotonin levels are connected to premature ejaculations because desire cannot be staved off. The same paper connects dopamine as a if not the primary cause of the onset of sexual desire. If serotonin helps one resist desire, it stands to reason that elevated serotonin levels on psychedelic drugs could result in a spiritually uplifting sexual experience, wherein orgasm does not occur until many hours have passed. The kind of sexual tantra popularized in the West (to the disappointment of many of the adepts of the non sexual aspects of the various tantric traditions - in as far as they would prefer more attention be focused on those non sexual aspects) has even been linked by psychedelic drug users like Robert Anton Wilson to psychedelic usage, in spite of that many users claim to have too little desire while intoxicated on hallucinogens to experiment.
Pain killers possess a component of tranquilization and stimulation, and "speed" (cocaine, methamphetamine, ect) stimulation without tranquilization. I believe this stimulation is caused by the impulsive nature of pride, that the drug augments pride so much the nervous system cannot help but move at a particular speed. I suspect that love is without an instinctive nature until it interacts with other emotional and/or neurotransmitter systems, providing it a creative capacity to move in any direction. When high levels of love/creativity interact with high levels of pride/impulsiveness, I suspect impulsive creative inferences tend to occur in the form of delusions and hallucinations.
The basic idea that I have is not only that elevated levels of love and serotonin are possible without hallucinations, but also that while pride and dopamine regulate the body off of instinctive drives and instinctive memory retrievals (the most familiar response in similar situations, or the most familiar confident response if fearless - mimicry if no memory of a response has yet been stored), love and serotonin possesses the same control over the nervous system at the level of raw choice.
Although reports vary, some research into placebo suggests that what our nervous system identifies as the truth becomes the truth, even to the extent of healing major ailments and rejecting allergens.
The popular story of the mother who lifts a car to save her child suggests to me that while pride identifies the physical limitations etched in memory, love, in this instance the love of a mother, has the ability to max out the nervous system's resources, so long as there is no time to reflect on the odds of success.
Some of my theory is rooted in personal experience.
Page 151 of Bloodline of the Holy Grail: the Hidden Lineage of Jesus Revealed by Laurence Gardner connects the Bors lineage to the mythic Merovingian bloodline of Christ. My mother's maiden name is Bowers, which is rooted in the German Bauer lineage (also the root bloodline of the Rothschildes). This could be a coincidence, but my brain chemistry seems peculiar to me, yet typical of the Bowers side of my family.
During the elementary school years, I was diagnosed with ADD, which is considered rooted in a dopamine deficiency. I was prescribed a stimulant, and didn't feel any effects while on it. A relative on the Bowers side of the family told me that when she was prescribed ADD meds (a stimulant, again), she thought it was supposed to make her sleepy, and that she didn't experience any increase in energy.
I quote a Bowers ancestor who used cocaine, "Cocaine is not a stimulant." I myself smoked crack laced weed and it seemed like regular weed to me, but my friends were acting as if they were extremely addicted. If you inhaled it slowly, it tasted sort of like plastic.
Pain killers, such as hospital prescribed morphine injections for a broken leg, just made me slightly or extremely sleepy, and had no narcotic effect. However, street obtained hydrocodone or oxycodone, even at far lower dosages than the morphine, while of very little effect by themselves, became a narcotic when I combined them with pot. A potent enough narcotic that I was obviously on something fairly strong besides the pot itself.
On strong hallucinogenics, I would experience the profoundest love based high, such that in those days I thought it made no sense it was possible the human brain could sustain it. For a basis of comparison, alcohol was about 50 times better than sober, weed several hundred times better than sober, DXM thousands of times better than sober, and my first couple times on acid and mushrooms made DXM seem like smoking a cigarette. I took three tabs of LSD my first "trip", over half a ten strip my second "trip", and usually when I did mushrooms I took the equivalent of about 6 grams.
I never experienced any hallucinations on any of the drugs I took, with the exception of visual distortions on alcohol, dxm, and various depressants. No colors or trails or anything, just inhibited depth perception and falling in and out of near-sleep.
Since the LSD and the mushrooms were obtained from the streets (some of the mushrooms were baked into chocolates, but some actually were just dried mushrooms), I eventually tested my brain chemistry on about 140 or so Hawaiian Baby Woodrose seeds from a verified source, ground them up into a fine powder and swallowed with an energy drink. The feeling was the same, just far, far less potent than what I was used to, but still better than DXM. And still no hallucinations.
I am deeply interested in 5-meo-DMT, but the closest I have come to it is a verifiable batch of low potency ayahuasca. It felt similar to LSD, shrooms, or LSA, but far weaker because it was such a low dose I almost didn't obtain lift-off at all. It felt somehow mellower.
I smoked cigarettes on and off from ages 12 to about age 20, and never got addicted. I never felt the slightest craving if I didn't have one, and smoked them because of peer pressure and a mild but pleasant light headed feeling that eventually went away - so I permanently quit.
I suspect that if Bors means Bowers and I am indeed a Merovingian, a bloodline tradition of mysticism has shrunken my dopamine receptors because of mysticism's inhibition of pride and transcendence of desire. This could explain the peculiar way in which my brain chemistry reacted to drugs.
In addition to hallucinogenic drug usage and pot smoking, I was regularly self programming with a system of initiation I invented. During one of the initiation ceremonies, I lost almost all of my pride and learned to love in an attachment free manner. I had no attachments, and beauty became completely subjective.
The initiation was performed on some variety of purple dank weed. The high, from nearly 20 years ago, lasted to this day, because my heart would not stop expanding.
Shortly after this initiation, I meditated on stilling the mind, and impulsive thoughts permanently left me.
Experiment has proven to me I can generate any emotion I want by focusing and making the attempt, and I can even manifest an attraction for anyone I want - but I have no attraction unless I willfully generate one.
Situational triggers cannot impact my perpetual happiness.
Before I awakened to indiscriminate love, I cried for days if a pet gerbil passed away. After, I would not shed a tear even if my favorite relatives died.
I can also speed up or slow down the energy level of my mind or body at will. To some extent, the average person does this when rushing to get things done - but I believe this can be carried extremely far if you do not identify a particular limit.
Ram Dass Gives Maharaji the "Yogi Medicine" - this is an anecdotal tale wherein hallucinogenics don't work anymore for certain advanced meditators. I suspect this is because mastery of various yogas, perhaps with the assistance of psychedelic drugs like DMT, so elevates one's natural serotonin levels that there is nothing for the psychedelics to do. I am curious what Maharaji would do if he was provided a high dose of 5-meo-dmt instead of LSD-25.
Closing Thoughts
I believe that serotonin and dopamine are linked to love and pride, and that love and pride interact to induce hallucinations - on most kinds of psychedelic drugs, including 5-meo-dmt.
Pride seems to me to be the source of the impulsiveness of hallucinations and delusions, because an impulsive energy. The fuel source of an instinctive complex that impulsively retrieves memories of past experiences to determine how to respond to situations, and cannot help but respond a finite number of ways based on those memories.
One kind of memory retrieved impulsively is the instructions: if the individual responds out of pride to diverse situations wherein hir is perfect of confidence, having witnessed the task performed correctly or it been explained properly, the task is executed perfectly based upon that memory. If there is lack of confidence, the instinctive complex identifies that it is veering to the side of accuracy in reproducing the information in memory, so the task is performed incorrectly.
I have never felt the effects of "speed", but they subjectively seem to me, based on what I have read and observed in users, to drastically augment pride and impulsiveness. I suspect this is because pride is itself impulsive forward momentum, and that dopamine, which speed is well documented to increase, increases or corresponds to increased pride *somehow. Maybe it is pride, maybe they are just linked together.
When I took psychedelics, they usually seemed to increase pride and especially increase love. Since they are known to have an affinity for dopamine, but a far higher affinity for serotonin, I suspect that serotonin may be linked to feelings of love - and there is scientific research that backs this suspicion.
My quest for spiritual enlightenment, my exploration of various drugs and consciousness expansion techniques, and my intuition into past scientific research, indicates to me that love is non-impulsive, but otherwise runs the nervous system similarly to pride. Instead of instinctive memory retrieval, there is choice and creativity. Choice because there is no instinct requiring a particular action, and creativity because of that but also because of the lack of a polarity between safety/confidence and fear/unfamiliarity, there is comfort and safety in exploring new territory.
Since if impacted love can move in any direction, if pride impacts love, as well as the emotional instinctive complex it fuels, it is likely to be creatively magnified. An inference occurs in the direction pride impacts love,
And that inference could be a hallucination or a delusion.
In the case of mystical experiences, perhaps it feels inherently mystical to be uplifted by overwhelming quantities of love, and so impulsive mystical inferences are magnified and manifested creatively - as hallucinations.
The most interesting thing to me is what would result if there were only creativity and little to no instinctiveness. Both serotonin and dopamine are inhibited to minimize the frequency of hallucinations. And 5-htp in at least one case study was administered successfully to treat hallucinations, even although it increases serotonin levels (while decreasing dopamine levels).
To be 100% in control of the creativity could induce a very high quality state of self determinism, and you would be in control of whether or not you experienced visions/imaginary sensory data. You could probably retrieve "spiritual insights from the cosmos" at will (the 8th circuit of Leary's model).
There may be something about psychedelic drugs that makes the average person hallucinate no matter what. Perhaps they directly interact with the dopamine system, or maybe something else is happening. I would never advise meditating on releasing pride while going up on psychedelics to resist hallucinations, because the level of self control required is probably rare and it is plausible the drug physically amplifies dopamine and pride levels regardless of one's self mastery.
If psychic powers were real, and psychic shroomers travelled together, it could be possible to hold down the pride of one's recognizance partner as a trip sitter.
But in the real world, where psychics and superpowered yogis likely don't exist, maybe it is enough to meditate when sober on generating love, on having an open heart, and on minimizing pride.
I consider it possible to be "high all the time" on psychedelic quantities of serotonin without experiencing HPPD, without hallucinations or delusions - existing in a state of focus that is even superior to sobriety, & would like to promote underground research, where legal, into how to obtain the yogi Maharaji's immunity to "the yogi medicine".
#2
Spirituality / Astral Army of Consciousness E...
Last post by IzakielSturge - November 15, 2025, 05:22:33 AMMany DMT experiences seem astral in nature, and every now and then the DMT tripper has the ability to duplicate a less psychedelic version of astral travel, seemingly closer to ghostly interactions with the "real" world.
If there are those amongst this forum's readership to have mastered astral travel apart from hallucinations (if psychic phenomenon exists), I propose a unification of astral beings, a networking effort, to perfect human consciousness and empower trust on scales of loyalty and fairness.
Fairness, because an economy of fairness potentially unifies all sentient life against the incursions into the rights of individuals.
Loyalty, because before there is love of the cosmos, all sentient life, God, or any fair totem, there is love of friends and family members - and because even sociopaths band together. Because if astral travel persisted post death, the immortal infrastructures to exist by now have motive to squish that which betrays loyalty, even if they would otherwise benefit from fairness. And because a loyal infrastructure is more stable.
Astral travel and telepathy permits the unification of the members of the scientific fields of psychology and psychiatry, which could permit safer drug use and more precise augmentation of consciousness.
Some states of consciousness that I think would promote network stability:
*That psychedelic quantities of love permit choice and creativity to overpower the pride fueled ego, so that one's emotions may become a decision. First of all to master, after learning emotional control, is the release of fear and insecurity, and the acceptance of an identification of an immunity to such - which comes true because you believe.
*Minimal pride. Focusless love, attachment free love, objectless love, simple love radiated in all directions as if coming from the sun. Can persist with or without attachments additional to it (to friends, family, romantic partners) - but ideally, expands without any attachments, liberating the psyche from sorrow.
As a meditation on or off psychedelics, close your eyes and imagine yourself as a golden sun radiating objectless love. Imagine what little pride you have as your core - a sense of pride barely holding on to its existence, yet unconditionally secure, set aflame with eternally expanding love.
*Reflectionless consciousness. Sober or intoxicated, having transcended insecurity, release all thoughts and "just be". Once it seems as if all thoughts have been permanently released,
*Tell the mind to go to the information as to how to most perfect your evolution as a component of the whole, of the mind of the universe.
Consciousness Expansion Tools that have been useful to me:
* A skeptic's version of faith.
When I have been certain of something, I seem to recall my pride being very invested in the idea. I believe this is because sure territory feels secure to pride, so it has to be either sure it is true or sure it is false.
The fallacy of most kinds of certainty is easily illustrated with the non debunkable hypothetical. What if you were a brain in a vat being fed electronic impulses to falsify an impression of the "real" world, but actually it was all just a virtual reality stimulation? What if you had a kind of schizophrenia which just produced sensory data that seemed like mundane existence? Dream within a dream within a dream? These hypotheticals can be considered extremely implausible and dismissed, but that they cannot be completely debunked debunks the "Factual" nature of nearly any form of data.
If pride explains why we crave so much certainty, perhaps love is the solution to overcoming the reflex to be sure. Love motivating belief that is honest about the uncertain nature of the data, is my definition of faith.
Mindfulness to have faith helps me to transcend certainty reflex.
The certain individual has no choice but to put all hir chips on what actually amounts to a clear headed person to a mere possibility, because sure. An uncertain person can crunch probabilities, and devise a collateral assessment: minimizing risks and maximizing rewards.
* Spontaneous art
To write without attempting anything other than pure creativity, quickly so there is no time to reflect. Aware that creativity is too subjective to permit ego to evaluate the effort, and so induce security or insecurity.
To paint, sketch, dance, or play a musical instrument - without attempting anything other than pure creativity. This teaches us to access creativity directly.
On and off weak and strong psychedelics, to visualize spontaneously - and to spontaneously generate music, inside your own head. Enough practice at spontaneous art builds up the skill to construct your own sensory data with or without psychedelic assistance.
Use spontaneous creativity to activate the chakras within and without the human body, gradually work your way up to universe building. Build a visual and auditory chakra surrounding the body of your very own realms, where you control everything within them.
If there are those amongst this forum's readership to have mastered astral travel apart from hallucinations (if psychic phenomenon exists), I propose a unification of astral beings, a networking effort, to perfect human consciousness and empower trust on scales of loyalty and fairness.
Fairness, because an economy of fairness potentially unifies all sentient life against the incursions into the rights of individuals.
Loyalty, because before there is love of the cosmos, all sentient life, God, or any fair totem, there is love of friends and family members - and because even sociopaths band together. Because if astral travel persisted post death, the immortal infrastructures to exist by now have motive to squish that which betrays loyalty, even if they would otherwise benefit from fairness. And because a loyal infrastructure is more stable.
Astral travel and telepathy permits the unification of the members of the scientific fields of psychology and psychiatry, which could permit safer drug use and more precise augmentation of consciousness.
Some states of consciousness that I think would promote network stability:
*That psychedelic quantities of love permit choice and creativity to overpower the pride fueled ego, so that one's emotions may become a decision. First of all to master, after learning emotional control, is the release of fear and insecurity, and the acceptance of an identification of an immunity to such - which comes true because you believe.
*Minimal pride. Focusless love, attachment free love, objectless love, simple love radiated in all directions as if coming from the sun. Can persist with or without attachments additional to it (to friends, family, romantic partners) - but ideally, expands without any attachments, liberating the psyche from sorrow.
As a meditation on or off psychedelics, close your eyes and imagine yourself as a golden sun radiating objectless love. Imagine what little pride you have as your core - a sense of pride barely holding on to its existence, yet unconditionally secure, set aflame with eternally expanding love.
*Reflectionless consciousness. Sober or intoxicated, having transcended insecurity, release all thoughts and "just be". Once it seems as if all thoughts have been permanently released,
*Tell the mind to go to the information as to how to most perfect your evolution as a component of the whole, of the mind of the universe.
Consciousness Expansion Tools that have been useful to me:
* A skeptic's version of faith.
When I have been certain of something, I seem to recall my pride being very invested in the idea. I believe this is because sure territory feels secure to pride, so it has to be either sure it is true or sure it is false.
The fallacy of most kinds of certainty is easily illustrated with the non debunkable hypothetical. What if you were a brain in a vat being fed electronic impulses to falsify an impression of the "real" world, but actually it was all just a virtual reality stimulation? What if you had a kind of schizophrenia which just produced sensory data that seemed like mundane existence? Dream within a dream within a dream? These hypotheticals can be considered extremely implausible and dismissed, but that they cannot be completely debunked debunks the "Factual" nature of nearly any form of data.
If pride explains why we crave so much certainty, perhaps love is the solution to overcoming the reflex to be sure. Love motivating belief that is honest about the uncertain nature of the data, is my definition of faith.
Mindfulness to have faith helps me to transcend certainty reflex.
The certain individual has no choice but to put all hir chips on what actually amounts to a clear headed person to a mere possibility, because sure. An uncertain person can crunch probabilities, and devise a collateral assessment: minimizing risks and maximizing rewards.
* Spontaneous art
To write without attempting anything other than pure creativity, quickly so there is no time to reflect. Aware that creativity is too subjective to permit ego to evaluate the effort, and so induce security or insecurity.
To paint, sketch, dance, or play a musical instrument - without attempting anything other than pure creativity. This teaches us to access creativity directly.
On and off weak and strong psychedelics, to visualize spontaneously - and to spontaneously generate music, inside your own head. Enough practice at spontaneous art builds up the skill to construct your own sensory data with or without psychedelic assistance.
Use spontaneous creativity to activate the chakras within and without the human body, gradually work your way up to universe building. Build a visual and auditory chakra surrounding the body of your very own realms, where you control everything within them.
#3
Introductions/Newbies / Hello, all, & safe journies
Last post by IzakielSturge - November 15, 2025, 04:32:52 AMI'm a psychedelic enthusiast and a mystic. I believe that psychedelic drugs, handled responsibly, can unlock higher states of consciousness... but also that there is as with all powerful tools the potential for negligence.
#4
5-MeO-DMT Experiences and Testimonials / Re: 5Meo vape pen
Last post by Handshake - August 28, 2025, 08:14:36 AMThey do need to be used very carefully, and even then it may be possible for the vape solution to become more concentrated over time, and in some cases it's impossible to know what the actual concentration is in vape pens. There are some low dose protocols for using 5meo vape pens carefully but they depend heavily on carefully tracking the concentration of the vape pens, tracking precise dose timing, etc.
They have the potential to be safe, but the norm is sadly to aim for higher concentrations in vape pens, shooting for a "one-hit breakthrough."
They have the potential to be safe, but the norm is sadly to aim for higher concentrations in vape pens, shooting for a "one-hit breakthrough."
#5
Preparation and Integration / Re: Facilitator/sitter request
Last post by Handshake - August 28, 2025, 08:03:04 AMHello, please note that this is a harm reduction forum and not a place to find facilitators. Forum members are welcome to ask questions about how to determine a suitable facilitator, but we discourage finding and vetting of facilitators on this forum due to the anonymous nature of this platform.
I wish you the best in this search and hope that you can find resources elsewhere.
Also keep in mind that 5-MeO-DMT is illegal where you live, and therefore asking for a facilitator on a clearnet site puts both you and the facilitator at risk.
I wish you the best in this search and hope that you can find resources elsewhere.
Also keep in mind that 5-MeO-DMT is illegal where you live, and therefore asking for a facilitator on a clearnet site puts both you and the facilitator at risk.
#6
General Discussion / Re: In Memory of A Community M...
Last post by Handshake - August 28, 2025, 07:55:55 AMThis project is part of their legacy, and there's some great information about the use and benefits of low dose 5meo. https://patternproject.substack.com/
#7
Plant-Based 5-MeO-DMT Experiences and Testimonials / Re: Yopo
Last post by Handshake - August 27, 2025, 10:48:12 PMHere's the full text for you 
#8
General Discussion / In Memory of A Community Membe...
Last post by Handshake - August 27, 2025, 09:44:46 PMHey everyone,
I was informed today that on August 6th Marcus suffered a major stroke and passed away on August 22nd.
A GoFundMe has been created on behalf of Marcus and his wife Geffen, to offset those expenses and to provide ongoing financial support.
Marcus, along with his close friend Bill Atkinson (who passed away in June of this year), revolutionized the use of 5-MeO-DMT perhaps most notably through an Erowid article published under the name Grace Within, which made 5meodmt vape pens a possibility, and shared that information freely, along with sharing the insights of the value of low-dose 5meo. This was something that we had spoken about on several occasions, and it was really heartening that they came to know and share the value of the lower dose range.
Please consider sharing the GoFundMe, and donating if you're in a position to do so.
https://gofund.me/e826e216
I'm open to any questions or any clarification you may be interested in.
Thank you,
Handshake
I was informed today that on August 6th Marcus suffered a major stroke and passed away on August 22nd.
A GoFundMe has been created on behalf of Marcus and his wife Geffen, to offset those expenses and to provide ongoing financial support.
Marcus, along with his close friend Bill Atkinson (who passed away in June of this year), revolutionized the use of 5-MeO-DMT perhaps most notably through an Erowid article published under the name Grace Within, which made 5meodmt vape pens a possibility, and shared that information freely, along with sharing the insights of the value of low-dose 5meo. This was something that we had spoken about on several occasions, and it was really heartening that they came to know and share the value of the lower dose range.
Please consider sharing the GoFundMe, and donating if you're in a position to do so.
https://gofund.me/e826e216
I'm open to any questions or any clarification you may be interested in.
Thank you,
Handshake
#9
General Discussion / Re: Long-term Impact of 5-MeO-...
Last post by Handshake - August 27, 2025, 09:33:59 PMReally well put, Lopsided.
My experience has been similar. Once you see the bigger picture, you know what's there. It becomes an inner knowing, just like you remember a hike that you've been on or a waterfall you've sat by. And yet like you said, nothing "magic" happens aside from this new awareness. You still are you, with your gifts and your drawbacks, your hang ups and the challenges you face. We still have to work on our daily lives. Our relationships, our politics, and even the process of knowing ourselves as we grow and evolve.
I have found that there are times in life where using psychedelics (in this case 5meo) gives us greater insight and awareness. It helps us slow down and remember the nondual perspective, let go of the things we don't need to hold onto anymore, and keep moving towards what's good. It can connect us to our intuition, and show us various paths ahead.
I have found that 5meo has been a powerful tool for all of those things, and it has also taught me a lot about getting out there and really living. And sometimes that's a long integration. But over time, and after really immersing yourself in the drama(s) of life, you may start to find those same truths and same perspectives that you touched during these journeys. That process takes time, patience, and a willingness to keep turning towards what is challenging. We have to be willing to let the water smooth the stone.
Thanks for opening this discussion, I enjoyed getting to reflect on this!
My experience has been similar. Once you see the bigger picture, you know what's there. It becomes an inner knowing, just like you remember a hike that you've been on or a waterfall you've sat by. And yet like you said, nothing "magic" happens aside from this new awareness. You still are you, with your gifts and your drawbacks, your hang ups and the challenges you face. We still have to work on our daily lives. Our relationships, our politics, and even the process of knowing ourselves as we grow and evolve.
I have found that there are times in life where using psychedelics (in this case 5meo) gives us greater insight and awareness. It helps us slow down and remember the nondual perspective, let go of the things we don't need to hold onto anymore, and keep moving towards what's good. It can connect us to our intuition, and show us various paths ahead.
I have found that 5meo has been a powerful tool for all of those things, and it has also taught me a lot about getting out there and really living. And sometimes that's a long integration. But over time, and after really immersing yourself in the drama(s) of life, you may start to find those same truths and same perspectives that you touched during these journeys. That process takes time, patience, and a willingness to keep turning towards what is challenging. We have to be willing to let the water smooth the stone.
Thanks for opening this discussion, I enjoyed getting to reflect on this!
#10
5-MeO-DMT Experiences and Testimonials / I'LL NEVER BE THE SAME
Last post by shmitpiex - August 26, 2025, 12:09:10 AMI'm going to try to form words to explain my first experience with 5 MEO DMT. I have a LOT of experience with psychedelics, LSD, psilocybin, ketamine, aya, hauchuma, peyote, etc.
I just have to say that this was the MOST PROFOUND MOMENT OF MY ENTIRE LIFE. WORDS DO NOT COMPUTE AND CANNOT DO JUSTICE TO THE EXPERIENCE I JUST HAD. THERE ARE NO WORDS IN THE HUMAN EXPERIENCE THAT CAN MAKE SENSE OF WHAT JUST HAPPENED.
Ego dissolution does not TOUCH this experience.
We did a titration up method with inhalation.
My first hit was a simple 2 mg hit from a pen. I felt an immediate sense of relaxation of my body and a sense of ease. I felt bliss bubbling up from all extremities and into my core. It made me think that this must be what heroin feels like the first time you do it. A tingling and feeling of well being all over. I got a huge smile on my face just imagining what a higher dose would feel like. I sat up for more. Next, was 13 mg 10 second inhale with the vaporizer. I laid back and felt the overwhelming feeling of disintegration, yet I could still feel my story and ego holding on. I was feeling my body trying to release, undulating and shaking, feeling the thoughts coming in and me trying to "meditate" through them, let them drop. They keep coming, the ego keeps trying to hold on. "What is my friend thinking? What is my body doing? What is this feeling? How can I explain this? Why do I keep having thoughts? Why can't I stop the thoughts? What are thoughts?" LET IT GO, STOP. JUST STOP ALREADY. I was shaking my arms and body and brushing off my skin thinking my stories were clinging to it. I kept saying LET IT GO, you dont need them (the stories of self). I sat up and asked for more. Next was a 7 mg 10 second inhale I felt the same similar dissolving wave pulsing through my body and a letting go and sinking deeper than before. I felt the undulations coming and waving through my body. I sunk in and really tried to let the thoughts go, understanding that this was my body shedding stories and getting into the core of my energetic field. I allowed it all to rise, with no feelings or thoughts around what was happening, just feeling. I felt a lot of tension in my mouth and jaw let go as the undulations came up my spine and out my head. I was still hearing myself still felt the sense of my body and knew that was still a little bit of my ego hanging on by a thread. I allowed myself to to let the energy pulsate and then came the energetic full body organism of pure bliss, allowing pieces of the "self" to die which then filled back in with an overall feeling of supreme well being and bliss that causes a full body laughter and orgasm. It was an incredible feeling of pure bliss and energy release. I had a taste of how deep this could go and I was ready to go even deeper. I sat back up for another dose. This time was 5 mg dose of 5 second inhalation. Instantly I knew this time was different. I laid back and felt all the rest of the pieces of "me" fall away. People talk about ego dissolution, no this was different. This was FAR BEYOND that. There was NO WITNESS here. There was NO I, there was only experience, awareness itself, becoming one with the universe, ever encompassing love. Pure being, nothingness, emptiness. It was an embodied feeling of reality itself without "me" in it. It was pure love, pure being, pure and total peace. There was no ground, no sky, no body, no separate "knower." Everything and nothing all at once in a place of no time, no space, nothing yet somehow EVERYTHING. WORDS DON'T EVEN WORK HERE. "I" wanted to stay forever. When I started feeling pieces of "me" come back online, I could tell I was immediately trying to make sense of it all. The best I could call it is a spiritual orgasm. I wanted a cigarette. *** called it the "Cosmic Joke." There were NO WORDS. HUMAN EXPERIENCE DOESN'T HAVE WORDS FOR THAT WTF!! After I came to, I was just in complete AWE and utter SHOCK of the whole experience. WHAT THE F@&$ WAS THAT!? How can one go back to regular life after that?! Why are we not giving this molecule to everyone especially at the end of their life to help them realize that death is going be so FREAKING BEAUTIFUL?! DEATH! YES! WOW HOW ARE WE SO AFRAID TO DIE? WE GET TO SPEND INFINITY THERE!? IN THAT PLACE? WE ARE SO LUCKY! WHAT A PRIVILEGE IT IS TO BE HERE AND TO DIE AND SPEND INFINITY THERE! WOW. I CANNOT WAIT TO SPEND INFINITY THERE. Again came another wave of pure bliss and joy, intense celebrations of life and love and the full range of emotions we choose to feel here. Death is going to be so liberating. THAT FEELING IS AVAILABLE TO US AT ANY TIME WE JUST HAVE TO GET PAST OUR EGO STORIES. WE HAVE THAT AVAILABLE TO US AT ALL TIMES. Please let me never forget that.
I just have to say that this was the MOST PROFOUND MOMENT OF MY ENTIRE LIFE. WORDS DO NOT COMPUTE AND CANNOT DO JUSTICE TO THE EXPERIENCE I JUST HAD. THERE ARE NO WORDS IN THE HUMAN EXPERIENCE THAT CAN MAKE SENSE OF WHAT JUST HAPPENED.
Ego dissolution does not TOUCH this experience.
We did a titration up method with inhalation.
My first hit was a simple 2 mg hit from a pen. I felt an immediate sense of relaxation of my body and a sense of ease. I felt bliss bubbling up from all extremities and into my core. It made me think that this must be what heroin feels like the first time you do it. A tingling and feeling of well being all over. I got a huge smile on my face just imagining what a higher dose would feel like. I sat up for more. Next, was 13 mg 10 second inhale with the vaporizer. I laid back and felt the overwhelming feeling of disintegration, yet I could still feel my story and ego holding on. I was feeling my body trying to release, undulating and shaking, feeling the thoughts coming in and me trying to "meditate" through them, let them drop. They keep coming, the ego keeps trying to hold on. "What is my friend thinking? What is my body doing? What is this feeling? How can I explain this? Why do I keep having thoughts? Why can't I stop the thoughts? What are thoughts?" LET IT GO, STOP. JUST STOP ALREADY. I was shaking my arms and body and brushing off my skin thinking my stories were clinging to it. I kept saying LET IT GO, you dont need them (the stories of self). I sat up and asked for more. Next was a 7 mg 10 second inhale I felt the same similar dissolving wave pulsing through my body and a letting go and sinking deeper than before. I felt the undulations coming and waving through my body. I sunk in and really tried to let the thoughts go, understanding that this was my body shedding stories and getting into the core of my energetic field. I allowed it all to rise, with no feelings or thoughts around what was happening, just feeling. I felt a lot of tension in my mouth and jaw let go as the undulations came up my spine and out my head. I was still hearing myself still felt the sense of my body and knew that was still a little bit of my ego hanging on by a thread. I allowed myself to to let the energy pulsate and then came the energetic full body organism of pure bliss, allowing pieces of the "self" to die which then filled back in with an overall feeling of supreme well being and bliss that causes a full body laughter and orgasm. It was an incredible feeling of pure bliss and energy release. I had a taste of how deep this could go and I was ready to go even deeper. I sat back up for another dose. This time was 5 mg dose of 5 second inhalation. Instantly I knew this time was different. I laid back and felt all the rest of the pieces of "me" fall away. People talk about ego dissolution, no this was different. This was FAR BEYOND that. There was NO WITNESS here. There was NO I, there was only experience, awareness itself, becoming one with the universe, ever encompassing love. Pure being, nothingness, emptiness. It was an embodied feeling of reality itself without "me" in it. It was pure love, pure being, pure and total peace. There was no ground, no sky, no body, no separate "knower." Everything and nothing all at once in a place of no time, no space, nothing yet somehow EVERYTHING. WORDS DON'T EVEN WORK HERE. "I" wanted to stay forever. When I started feeling pieces of "me" come back online, I could tell I was immediately trying to make sense of it all. The best I could call it is a spiritual orgasm. I wanted a cigarette. *** called it the "Cosmic Joke." There were NO WORDS. HUMAN EXPERIENCE DOESN'T HAVE WORDS FOR THAT WTF!! After I came to, I was just in complete AWE and utter SHOCK of the whole experience. WHAT THE F@&$ WAS THAT!? How can one go back to regular life after that?! Why are we not giving this molecule to everyone especially at the end of their life to help them realize that death is going be so FREAKING BEAUTIFUL?! DEATH! YES! WOW HOW ARE WE SO AFRAID TO DIE? WE GET TO SPEND INFINITY THERE!? IN THAT PLACE? WE ARE SO LUCKY! WHAT A PRIVILEGE IT IS TO BE HERE AND TO DIE AND SPEND INFINITY THERE! WOW. I CANNOT WAIT TO SPEND INFINITY THERE. Again came another wave of pure bliss and joy, intense celebrations of life and love and the full range of emotions we choose to feel here. Death is going to be so liberating. THAT FEELING IS AVAILABLE TO US AT ANY TIME WE JUST HAVE TO GET PAST OUR EGO STORIES. WE HAVE THAT AVAILABLE TO US AT ALL TIMES. Please let me never forget that.