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Toad Experiences and Testimonials / First experience
« Last post by Aviatho on May 12, 2022, 07:30:43 PM »
Thank you for letting me share this.  It has taken me about a week to gather my thoughts about my first Bufo experience.  I’m not a writer, but it has been very therapeutic for me to write this all down. Even though the initial terror is still fresh in my mind, I find that writing it down softened it.  I am grateful for this experience and hope to do it again someday.The SingularityI thought I was experienced.  I thought it was going to be simply another journey, one of many over the past four years. I did my research on Bufo and read many trip reports. I remember thinking how strange some of them were.  Why were these people writing such nonsense? I thought perhaps they had little experience with psychedelics, maybe they just couldn’t comprehend the experience very well.  Maybe they just weren’t ready for it. I thought I knew how to accept and surrender. I still have much to learn, but felt somewhat experienced. I felt I was ready for this. In less than a second after I inhaled the vapor, I realized I was wrong.The ceremony was beautiful.  Held in a safe, peaceful location with loving support from the facilitators. Although I thought I knew, I really had no idea what was coming.  During the ceremony, I inhaled deeply and held it in as my facilitator counted down.  10,9, 8 … I saw faint, mandala-like patterns in the air above me, then everything suddenly became cloudy and white. I felt overcome.  Then a sound, like a droning, vibrating hum grew and I collapsed.  I was probably gently lowered onto pillows by my facilitators, but have no memory of that.  There was no outside world. The humming grew into a hurricane-like roar. This all happened in a nanosecond - everything became white, like the static snow in televisions when there is no channel.  Everything was instantly overcome and swallowed by the massive, roaring, white hurricane force chaos. The roar grew louder, ripping everything apart and the hurricane devoured everything, all reality, including me. I don’t know if I actually did, but I felt as if my head was thrown back, my eyes opened wide in existential fear, I screamed in terror and was anhilated by the unstoppable fury.  I felt my mind being scrambled and instinctively tried to escape.  But there was no escape.  It was as if I had been ripped from Earth into the unforgiving center of the Sun. It erased all trace of me from existence. The last thing I remember was my head lowered in utter despair, thinking, “there is nothing…”…and I disappeared.  There was nothing.I don’t remember what happened during the nothing.  There was just nothing.  No me.  Nothing. Total, black emptiness of deep space.  I had no sense of how much time had passed.  At some point, I felt that I was somewhere in uncharted outer space.  Beyond the beyond. There were distant stars and unrecognizable galaxies.  It felt like I was deep in some far, unknown corner of an unknown universe. Not “I”, but I was the empty space. For some reason, I felt mathematical symbols underlying the vast emptiness. I felt a slight sadness because somewhere, on one of the tiny planets in this far, unknown corner of an unknown universe, was a tiny fragment of the old version of reality, maybe a fragment of the old “me”.  The fragment was confused, like a glitch in the matrix of this endless universe of black space. I felt compassion for it. How would it ever be found so far out here in the nothingness?  All alone.  I didn’t know, but I would find it somehow. Love is the way.It felt as if all the wires from my mind to its power source had been unplugged, ripped out.  The wires were eventually reconnected.  From the nothingness, there was a brief moment of intense confusion as the wires were plugged back in and my mind came back online, then peace and quiet settled over me. I gradually realized that I was lying on a soft cloud of pillows, resting comfortably.  Arms outstretched, relaxed.  What had started as a whisper blowing on my face had instantly turned into a hurricane like fury that blew me out of myself but I had landed slowly, gently on a cloud of pillows.  I felt calm, peaceful and serene.  I don’t know why, but I remember whispering “thank you, thank you”.  I remember smiling and giggling, amazed at the power of the experience. I made it through and was alive!  An overwhelming experience.  This was not a psychedelic drug, this was something more.  I laughed to myself and thought, “Humans aren’t ready for this…what was I thinking?”.  How silly I was to have thought that I was ready for this :)I laid in the cloud of soft pillows as my body and mind slowly reconstituted.  I could hear gentle music, the sun was setting, my guides were sitting silently around me, protecting the space and supporting me in spirit.  I asked for a little more as I felt that I gotten close to something that I needed to reach/release, but was not quite there.  Not much changed with that, so I was content to lay on my little cloud of pillows in my peaceful serenity.  Amazed at what had happened.  It was so far beyond anything I could have imagined, I wouldn’t be able to describe it.  Going into the experience, I felt as if my mind was a whiteboard covered in black scribbles.  Afterwards, I felt that the whiteboard of my mind had been wiped clean. While reading the various trip reports, I kept seeing a strange word, “non-dual”.  I skimmed over it, not understanding what it meant.  “It’s not even a word”, I thought.  It’s spiritual, new-age, mumbo jumbo that some people like to use.  I am embarrassed to have now learned that “non-dual” is one of the most important words to describe this experience. Since this experience, I’ve thought a lot about that word and what it means.  If I understand it correctly, our day to day lives are dual - there is “me” and then everything outside of “me”.  Two things - dual.  In “non-dual”, there is only one. There is no me and there is no outside of me.  I like the word “singularity”.  I’m probably not using it correctly, but it sounds right.  There is only one - all is one. I think I have a lot more to learn before I truly understand this concept.Although I’m still processing everything, I am thinking that the initial, terrifying part of the experience was necessary for the rest of it to happen.  The “self” (or ego or whatever you want to call it), faced with imminent “death”, likely reacts desperately and violently to do anything possible to escape it. Its fear and terror likely explode through conciousness until it is dissolved.  Luckily, this seemed to be a very quick process that cleared the way for the non-dual to happen.  About one week after the ceremony, an acquaintance suggested that I look at the fear differently. The fear is the body or self trying to protect me.  In other words, it is an expression of love by the body for me. If I do this experience again, I think that this understanding will help me to gain more from it.  I’m still trying to figure out what it all means.  I feel like something’s different in me, but I’m not sure what it is.  I continue to recall additional bits and pieces as time passes. Although the beginning was terrifying, I feel drawn to do the experience again in the future.  Perhaps now that I have an inkling of what to expect, I could go further.  Anyway, I plan to show more love and kindness to others and myself and I hope this experience helps with that in some way.
Introductions/Newbies / hi from Italy, 150+ sessions with 5-meo in all forms
« Last post by Mapra on May 11, 2022, 03:21:59 PM »
I use 5-meo from 4 to 6 times a week, from very low dosages to very high, from rectal to vaporized to intramuscular, everything.

I can currently reach total ego dissolution even without using the substance, i understand the mechanism that makes it happen.

i also use 5-meo-MALT that seems to be superior in power and duration, and very deep too.. wish i could talk a bit more with others that do similar things as me..

My name is matteo, but i prefer to be called Mapra.
Introductions/Newbies / Hello
« Last post by Aviatho on May 11, 2022, 02:38:39 PM »
Thank you for having me. I am in the upper Midwest area. I had my first Bufo experience about a week ago. It will take me time to process it and I’m glad this forum exists so that I can learn and better understand the experience.
Introductions/Newbies / Re: Hi from NYC
« Last post by MikeL on May 06, 2022, 08:31:49 AM »
Thanks so much for the welcome Humble voyager. My apologies for taking awhile to reply. I spoke a little too soon about my health situation being much better. It's still kinda touch and go but it's cool. I feel like I'm being given one of the biggest tests of my life. Thanks again. Be well, Mike

Introductions/Newbies / Hi from Winnipeg
« Last post by ohmdub on May 02, 2022, 02:10:13 PM »
Hi there, I'm a dad of young kids in Winnipeg, Canada. It was a struggle to carve out time for psilocybin journeys and further investigation led me to the door of 5-MeO-DMT, whose shorter duration got me interested, but a mystical experience of nonduality reliably produced by a molecule? Sign me up. I've had the endogenous variety (aka nonchemical mystical experiences) before, twice, to enormous impact in my life, let's try exogenous. I've had one (well, two) sessions with the molecule, guided, will contemplate perhaps sharing at some point. It was tremendous.

Happy to be here to learn and share whatever gleanings I've gathered. I am concerned about the rising profile of this molecule while at the same time a part of that wave.
Introductions/Newbies / Hello Everyone
« Last post by Inkdarkmoon on April 30, 2022, 11:10:12 AM »
Hi All,
I am very excited to join and hear about the experiences and knowledge of others. I very recently had my first 5-MeO experience, and I feel a real need to hear from others about it as part of my integration process. I live in the SF Bay Area with my family and have a deep love and respect for the Buddhist and other spiritual practices that have brought me to this place.

With Love to All!
Introductions/Newbies / Greetings from SoCal!
« Last post by Eegemon on April 18, 2022, 12:23:02 PM »
Greetings to everyone! Glad to be here! I am a veteran, living in Southern California. I was introduced to Bufo about 2 years ago, and have done numerous ceremonies. I have also experienced 5-MEO about 9 times. Looking forward to seeing some great discussion and experiences and making connections!
Ethics and Ecology / Re: Calling out / Calling in
« Last post by HumbleVoyager on April 11, 2022, 01:29:09 PM »
This is a great question, and an important one to ask.

Thanks for bringing this here.

I think perhaps a good place to start is to check in with the practitioner themselves and give them feedback. If they are not open to feedback or unwilling to engage in a process of repair with harmed parties, the next step would be to engage with community leaders or community members who may be able to prevent further harm to others by informing members of the community of the problem. If both of these steps are unavailable, then it would be important to find a public space or forum such as social media, email lists, or otherwise to inform the public about the individuals' unethical practices.

In general, it is very difficult to call in or call out practitioners that are not necessarily part of any specific communities. I would recommend that people only work with practitioners who have community ties so that there can be call in/call out processes in the case of harm caused.

I have gone back and forth about creating a space on this forum for practitioner call ins or call outs, but I think that it is a rather intensive process requiring significant moderation and/or mediation and I haven't felt like these forums have those resources currently available to handle that sort of space.

What thoughts do you have about it?
General Discussion / Re: storage and conversion
« Last post by Friend2All on April 11, 2022, 01:03:16 PM »
Thanks for your response HumbleVoyager. Very useful. I'm pretty confident regarding the integrity of the substance, but I'm going to consider the option you suggest, of getting it verified.

I have found a youtube video which gives a simple answer and instruction for conversion to salt. I think I will first try vapor, as you have talked about. I've basically come to the same conclusion you suggested: that there's some minor oxidation, which likely wouldn't be much of a problem. IMO there's a greater likelihood of accidentally taking too large a dose by using the salt which is mostly (but not completely!) avoided by vaping (carefully).
General Discussion / Re: storage and conversion
« Last post by HumbleVoyager on April 11, 2022, 12:56:18 PM »
Hello and welcome!

The change in color is likely due to some oxidation of the freebase, but probably not a significant decrease in potency.

You will probably be able to vaporize it and experience effects without any noticeable differences.

You can definitely convert this into a salt form, but that isn't necessary unless you wanted to.

406-410 F is the temp where it will completely vaporize.

As always, it is best harm reduction practice to ensure that you have the correct substance. Consider sending a sample to in order to get your sample tested.
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