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Messages - Child Horus

Poetry and Art / Celestial Strings
December 10, 2017, 04:31:30 PM
orphic egg" border="0




Poetry and Art / Mystic's Strife
December 09, 2017, 09:58:51 AM
Mystic's Strife

Oh the life of the spangled mystic.
Caught between two tides
Of fierce dogmatic agendas
And stiff scientific claims. 
Whereto shall they meet
between heaven and earth
between Velea and Melesia
Where atoms dance to harmonia
And the lyre is tuned by that unlimited thing
For hundreds and thousands of years we wander
In search of something we once remembered.

St. John of the Cross was placed in a dark cell for almost a year where he underwent his revelatory transformation and mystical experiences with the light, and he came forth as one of the most well documented Christian mystics renaissance era.  In his "Dark Night of the Soul" he describes the ascent of the soul from the ego self to its death and union with the light of the unknowable God.  It is not known that he had any exposure to entheogenic substances, but he may have been exposed to medieval mystical teachings.  I always assumed his imprisonment in darkness was what developed his endogenous entheogenic experience which allowed his beautiful poetic expression. 
Toad Experiences and Testimonials / Re: The Neophyte
December 08, 2017, 08:13:13 PM

Perhaps with an experienced administrator is the best way to enter into this state.   The experience can be overwhelming.  I know nothing of dosing or anything like that, so if someone who has administered many times to self and others, it would make for a much safer exposure to the ????.

I would be interested to know who are 'occultists' and 'satanic worshippers' that have been exposed to the venom just out of intellectual curiosity.  I have browsed through the abridged history of many 'occultists' over the years (usually finding the 'darker' ones less worthy of time, but often fascinating, nonetheless), and I never once came across the use of toad venom or any substance like this.  Perhaps it is something I missed.  Again, all the ancient mystery rites and religions were 'cults', to use a descriptive term, simply meaning 'specialized cultus (or culture)'.  Wikipedia explains, "The term cult usually refers to a social group defined by its religious spiritual, or philosophical beliefs, or its common interest in a particular personality, object or goal."  The difference between ancient cults and modern world religious (vaguely speaking), is that the seeker actually took part of the drama and played a centralized role in the mystery of the god.  This contrasts with a story about a god witnessed as a third person.  As far as alignment, I would perceive that most of the mysteries were for some sort of improvement or revelation of life.  Short of people declaring themselves to be worshipers of Satan, I'm still unsure as what would actually qualify as being 'satanic'.  Probably even more so, it is a matter of understanding exactly who this character is (if anybody).  My opinion is that he probably entered into the Judeo / Islamic texts due to the Zoroastrian Ahriman who represents the lower pole of the dualistic godhead.  Perhaps in the individual it is the lower tendency of the mind in contrast with the spirit above.  It might be possible that the toad medicine actually raises one's awareness beyond the mind into a state of stillness (the mind being left behind).  Occult simply means 'hidden', and again has a very neutral value attached to it.  Mysteries are occult because they are simply not perceived to an individual until they are revealed.  This particular sacrament seems to remain a true mystery as one is left without the ability to explain or reveal the revelation.  I agree that it is probably well described as an occult practice as it is a gateway into a very hidden place within oneself. 
Introductions/Newbies / Re: Hello
December 03, 2017, 07:09:57 PM

Toad Experiences and Testimonials / Re: The Neophyte
December 03, 2017, 05:19:24 PM

In fact, I didn't even think of the images as "Masonic" but it actually makes me happy to think of them that way.  If you refer to my introduction post (,50607.0.html), you will see that Freemasonry was actually a staple part of my personal transition from "post-pubescent youth" into adult-hood, and I found many valuable teachings and lessons taking part in the Mystery plays of the fraternity.  Coming from a Christian background as a child, I always felt that there were "mystical" aspects of Christianity which were either not understood, or not taught in the traditional church setting.  In fact, the small congregational church that was chartered in my teenage years in the small village I lived in had a number of Brothers of the Craft who were greatly active in the forming of community events.  The inspiring minister who moved from afar to shepherd the church was also a Brother and a Knight's Templar.  All these older father figures around the town, I remember, had very comforting auras that they carried with them.  They were like the gracious and charitable elders of the quaint rural townships who were always "present" in the local community, and always ready to help a neighbor or a friend.  For whatever reason, I noticed that the men who were Masons (as a general note) seemed to have a greater stake in the "Christian spirit" and silently living a life which portrayed such as spirit as opposed to evangelizing and judging others who did not think like them. 

So I was very curious about the Mystery Schools, and what they meant from a young age, and I found great interest in the esoteric and occult traditions of the east and the west, and underwent a number of study programs which attempted to portray the teachings of the "Mysteries" in written format.  One of them was Astara, a group out of California founded by Earlyne and Robert Chaney (in the 80's I think).  In their manuscripts, it was explained, that there were many Mystery Schools in the ancient times, and a number of more modern systems have attempted to draw upon their wisdom.  Blavatsky's Theosophy, the Rosicrucian enigma, and ancient and modern Freemasonry are some examples of these. 

So by the time I was 19, I was very eager to understand more about groups like the Masons who just happened to be an accessible and living tradition.  This was before the advent of information streaming into youtube and google.  Though these platforms were running at the time, there was less data that could be gathered from their use, and I wanted to experience first-hand what this Masonry thing was all about.  The rituals I underwent were very much life transformative, and I felt they fit very nicely with the greek philosophy and Platonism that I was studying at university that year.  The traditional definition of Freemasonry is "a peculiar form of morality, veiled in allegory, and illustrated through symbols."  If I were to summarize the "teachings" of the Craft" if any exist in rudimentary form, they would be something like,

1.  There is some kind of "God" or higher power called by many different names and many different cultures.
2.  Human beings play a unique or special role in this creation.
3.  Symbols can be used as tools for personal development and reminders of what path to take in any given circumstance throughout life.
4.  By using the "tools of the craft," one can hope to improve their character and build a "temple" out of themselves that is fit to be a better vessel to serve the creating power and humankind. 
5.  We currently live in darkness and ignorance, but through self-improvement and honest living, we can "by degrees" remove the veils of darkness and live in the "Light" which may either mean knowledge and wisdom, or as I interpreted it Goodness (in the Platonic sense).

The climactic drama of craft Masonry is the brutal murder of one of the chief architects during the building of King Solomon's temple.  It is significant for two reasons.  In the myth, he is one of the three "masters" who has the masonic "Word".  With his death, the "Word" is lost, and it is not until future generations that it might be "rediscovered".  The second reason is that, like all the mystery cults of the ancient world, there is a "resurrection" story in that once the "fellow-craftsmen" discover the body of the master architect, they plant an acacia tree nearby, and its sprouting is a symbol of the re-birth.  (It is only recently that I realized that Acacia is one of the plants containing signifiant amounts of DMT.  Did the creators of the myth know this to be the case and encode this secret in the story for future generations to rediscover?)  The initiate (who has at this point been playing the part of Hiram Abiff and is currently laying "dead" on the ground) is "resurrected" and given new life as a Master Mason. 

There are many buried secrets in the drama many of which, I probably am not even aware because it may mean something completely different to each person who participates.  The birth, death, and resurrection of a god or godlike person seems play a central role many of the myths of old.

James Frazier in his classic work, "The Golden Bough" wrote an extensive anthropological treatise on the matter of ancient mystery cults, and his central theory was that the ancients were very much attached to the cycles of nature particularly due to the cultural need for grain and corn.  Each autumn, there is a harvest, and the plants "die" before winter, but spring represents a "re-birth" and the seed is able to germinate again into abundance apparently out of "nothing" (the whole of the crop is contained in a single seed).  These cycles are never ending, and so ancient religious used myth to incorporate civilizations inter-dependence on the life-cycle.  Osirus is killed and resurrected via Isis and their son Horus.  Attis, Mithras, Dyonisis, Orpheous, and later Christ (the story probably being a summation of all the old cults in a new unified manor) all have death and re-birth stories entombed in their individual mythos.  But the life of grain may not be the only purpose for the myths.  Religion and Ancient philosophy (which was steeped in inspiration from Mystery cult pageants) interpreted the story to be one of personal resurrection upon the death of the body.  The body returns to the dust, but the soul flies up to the realm of Forms only to take birth again after supping in the light of upper realms.  So re-incarnation was just important within the western traditions (pre Judeo-Christian and Islamic paternal monotheism) as it was in the eastern systems. 

Now the loss of the "Word" in Masonic mythos is another matter.  Word (or Logos in Greek) is essentially the most sacred and holy downwardly spiraling Golden Proportion which emanates into all creation.  The contemplation of and absorption of "Word" is the summum bonum of nearly every mystical tradition as well as exoteric faith.  Logos, Tao, Holy Spirit, Nahd, and Shabd are all synonymous terms for that spiritual essence which binds together all things.  The loss of "Word" with the death of the master may well point to the fact that at some point in history, we lost contact with "Source" due to our own violent tendencies.  The secret of how to tap into our own Origin was somehow buried in time, and it is not until history or personal destiny is "ripe" that the "Word" may be re-discovered.  And contact with Source may well be the secret to our own immortality and unfoldment.  Now what exactly is "Satanic" in all this, I am yet to fathom.  I have always sort of chuckled at people's fear and conspiratorial notions of Freemasonry and other fraternal organizations particularly because they usually come from closed minded Christian types who view everything that does not correspond to their world-view framework as "Satanic."  Growing up going to a Christian elementary school for 6 years gave me a very intimate viewpoint on the mind of the Bible lover who believes his personal book to be the Word itself.  This is not to say there are not many beautiful lessons in the Christian Scriptures. They offer a peep into the archaic life of humans and olden times.  But there are many wonderful scriptures to explore each representing a particular "flavor" through which the writer's personal experience of divine revelation might be shared. 

Now since we are all friends here, I see no need to chuckle at Bliss Guru's concerns over occult imagery,  we do not know what his background is in such things, nor what lens they are viewed through.  I only ask forgiveness if my artistic expression caused you any discomfort as it was not meant to do so.  Frankly, I was merely trying to process the magnitude of the impact of this medicine, and so imagery which was familiar and comforting to me personally seemed like a fair means through which to process and integrate the ceremony for myself as well as share with a community of common interest.  Because of the indescribable state which Toad Medicine launches the individual into, words are meager tools with which to convey the journey, so I think symbols and illustrations are helpful in making some sense of it all.  The Isis figure whose consciousness is emanated above its form as well as the eyes with the whirling light in front of it are pictorially fair depictions of perhaps what it was like.  The outspread armed figure with balanced polarities surrounding him felt like the metaphysical harmony of my gentle decent back into matter.  The first and final images are just examples of what initiation might have been like in an ancient temple where the priests gathered around the candidate to assist and support their experience of "death" or out of body state and their sending him forth into the world with light and blessings knowing him to be "reborn" after his time spent in the upper realms. 
Toad Experiences and Testimonials / Re: The Neophyte
December 03, 2017, 05:15:57 PM

Hello darknessremover-bliss-dedication.  I am sorry you don't like the drawings.  They were only placed there to help tell a story.  After 20 years of religious study, I'm still not quite sure exactly what is meant by Satan.  He is a rather enigmatic character in the Judeo-Christain as well as Islamic faiths and not easily defined.  Especially since there are various characters who are often confused to be the same character (Lucifer for instance).  Those particular images have always given me a feeling of reference and deep reflection of an ancient time when, for instance, great characters like Pythagoras of Samos would travel to Egypt in search of wisdom and mysteries and traverse forth transformed after years of service to the temple craft.
I have not heard of 'Alchemically Stoned: The Psychedelic Secret of Freemasonry ', but I am really looking forward to reading it.  When I took my Master Mason degree back in 2003, I smoked cannabis right before the ceremony.  It had profound and life changing effects on my life and outlook towards self-development, service to humanity, the function of human incarnation, the quest for truth, and even death itself.  Who could have known, a bunch of crusty old men in tuxedos could have so effected the consciousness of an eager yet naive 19 year old??
Toad Experiences and Testimonials / The Neophyte
December 02, 2017, 05:42:46 PM

What words can describe such wonderful things??  I present to you an attempted illustration to substantiate my case.  Italic quotes are taken from Astara's Book of Life to help illustrate my journey.

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The most renowned of all Mysteries were those of Isis and Osiris in Egypt.  In the Seventh Degree the initiate was taken to the King's Chamber in the Great Pyramid.  There he or she entered an out-of-body experience, during which initiation at the moment of death was realized. 

For over 10 years I have prepared for this moment, not tasting meat, wine, or drugs.  A cleanse of 3 cycles of the purging power of Kambo medicine has prepared the temple for initiation into the Mysteries of Sapo Bufo. 

My guide introduces me to the apparatus through which the sacred secretion will be transmuted from gold to ether and where it will plunge into my airways, enter the blood, cross the holy threshold of my brainstem and unite in holy matrimony with its bride in the king's chamber of my head. 

I take a sample "take" on the mechanism with no medicine that I might feel the long slow and deep drag which I will soon partake. 

I am instructed to perform yogic "breath of fire" to oxygenate my brain and nervous system.  My belly pumps like a bellows excreting the air again and again from my lungs and filling me with vitality. 

The guide prepares a sample dose for initial intake.  He blazes the glass vial screwed into the end of the apparatus with a torch flame. 

I inhale the sacrament.  Just a bit; hold, and release. 

"Do you feel anything?" 

No, just a very subtle pleasantness, barely noticeable if at all.  I think I saw the chimney swirl ever so slightly, but it could be my imagination. 

"Ok, you can handle the medicine.  Now, I am going to launch you."

He torches the glass for a moment, and I begin my long take of the smooth vaporized venom crystals.  About 2/3 way in-breath, I choke ever so slightly, inhale some air, and continue on the apparatus until I am at capacity. 

I hold.

I am sitting upright on the couch, feet on the floor.  I lower the cloth of my tactical desert scarf down over my eyes, and slowly exhale. 

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Before full decent of my breath, I rise to the cerebral center of my ancient and primaeval mammalian brain.

Breathless, I sit in the ocean of nothingness.

The phenomenal world encloses in upon itself, and subtle tones of light and sound vibrations emanate in the void. 

I stare into the emptiness of fullness for a timeless eternity. 

This is the time before time with no thought or action.

Is this the yogic state of nirvikalpa Samadhi?

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"Don't forget to breath," a distant voice echoes into the void from somewhere without, reminding me of the structure beneath, the temple of my soul.

I inhale deeply, hold, and exhale again and again, staring into the infinity of a selfless state.

Bells and chimes resound and echo from a distant place.  They are the tools used by the guide practitioner to give the voyager some anchor through which to place his transcendent attention.  Beautiful melodies resound the within grounding the experience with celestial vibrations and assisting in whatever terror or astonishment that might capture the ecstatic soul in their whirlwind of experience. 

The intensity is magnificent and never ending.

Strongly and deeply, I inhale and exhale, though barely aware of the mechanism below through which the action takes place. 

Waves and waves of powerful energy engulf my within. 

Is this forever?

Finally, I surrender to the experience.  My body relaxes backwards, reclining against the couch on which I sit. 

Ok, I surrender. 

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What's this?  Moments after I relax, there is a slow and gentle decent into cognitive form.

"How are you doing," subtly the voice enters the dissipating void state. 

The bells continue to chime, and my self awareness begins to blissfully unfold as my bodily awareness returns. 

I find my voice as the atoms of my body return to their assigned pathways. 

"I don't know if there are any words to describe what just happened," is the first thing that comes out of my mouth. 

"That was intense; VERY intense...
but familiar... its not like we havn't been here before.  We have been here many times, because this state is always existing."

"Yes," he says, "its just a matter of remembering." 

Cognitive rationality begins to emerge.  I am here just as I was before.  I am in my body, I can see and think, and speak.  Everything is fine... and wonderful!!  I am still high from the experience, but I can operate completely normally.  There is no hangover or dis-association.  Just a wondering awe of attempting to conceptualize the experience.  The entire procedure felt completely natural. 

Now, I the neophyte of Sapo Bufo return to the world to continue my work.

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When a pupil was accepted as a candidate in the Mysteries he or she entered as a neophyte, became a disciple... and emerged as an initiate.
General Discussion / VPN's and anonymity
December 01, 2017, 11:58:26 PM
To be brief, how do we all feel about whether to use a VPN and/ or a Tor browser for the perusing of this forum...

any thoughts?

Toad Experiences and Testimonials / Re: Virgin Initiation
December 01, 2017, 01:57:47 PM

...ok I changed hosting sites, and I think it should be fine.
It looks like a cosmic eyeball...
Poetry and Art / Golden Reformation
November 29, 2017, 04:42:12 PM


Golden Reformation

Of Muses who inspire,
Let me have your fill,
For without your pining fire,
My work is naught but ill.

Of Golden Men in ancient days,
Their race was pure as rain,
Of Nature's bounty, suppled they,
No work to cause them pain.

But degradation thwarted they
From purity they sired,
Away from heaven's mystery
Towards selfishness they mired.

War and famine troubled them,
as desires over took them.
Enough of the oak and simple life,
Lets make the world our burden.

True Light exists in every man,
but shaded by the forces,
of earthly vises manifest
From outwardly directing courses.

Arise to Truth my children,
and passion you must bind,
for dialectics intercourse,
will lead you to the wine.

What wine you speak will satisfy
our taste for Golden Light?
Only that which is self-contained,
And distributed at Night.

Reform your ways oh man of Iron,
Shortly formed, your breath of life,
So with each breath make testify
Of introspection's fight.

Rise up to battle, take your sword,
The one which cuts the roots
Of segregations interlude,
The Word of Truth must shoot.

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Just buzzing into the hive to relax and do some research.  I havn't put anything in my body to change my brain since college where I had some seriously powerful experiences with psilocybe cubensis.  After paying a hefty sum for Transcendental Meditation mantra, I went on a 12 year endogenous nectar hunt.  Toad medicine looks like the real deal though, and I think I am ready to partake in some serious neuro-hacking.  Who knows how much time we have on earth, so if enlightenment can be commodified to fit an American consumer diet, then why not trade my digital trading chips in for a system update.

At 12 I had my entire colon removed due to ulcerative colitis.  It turned black and died!! The doctors created a "j-pouch" out of my small intestine to act as an artificial large intestine, so I'm just like everyone else deep down inside, just shorter...  That's why I got into a serious search for natural medicine at a young age and found a lot of comfort in cannabis through my teenage years.  In college, I studied philosophy full time and got heavy into Pythagoreanism, Platonism, hermeticism, neo-platonism, and eastern scriptures.  I even took initiation into Ancient and Accepted Freemasonry, and had a peak experience after my Master Mason degree whence I got my hands on a good ounce of cubensis caps, and went into a mystic frenzy for about a week considering my own flesh to be the abode of god almighty.  I fasted during this time and frightened my intimates because the energy and drama was megolomanic. 

After coming back to the small limited version of myself, I spent a year performing my worldly duties in an isolated and perhaps sadened state.  I ended my entheogenic quest, but the mystic way slowly began to reveal itself again in the form of TM and afterwords other practices stemming out of India.  Now I am 33, and after a few kambo sessions (which I am quite happy with), I am very attracted towards the medicine of the toad having watched many youtube videos and talks, podcasts, and readings.  I even found a practitioner who works with the medicine, so the opportunity to ascend to the luminous star atop the Christmas tree may come sooner than later.  Plus exploring all these threads of information and revelation gives me something interesting to fix my mind upon after the noble but tedious work of Union labor which I embark on daily to service the world and pay for my bread. 

A final note, I think I might be slightly on the high functioning end of the autism spectrum.  Nobody has ever 'diagnosed' me or anything like that, but for 8 years I worked as a child development counselor with special needs children, and now that I am out of the field and into the technical trades, I see some similarities in the way in which my brain works and a few of the signatures of high functioning autism.  By this, I mean the way in which I hyper-focus on topics of particular interest to myself, and wish to project them into conversations where they don't belong, and also the way in which I hyper-intellectualize everything.  But whatever, I'm only a human being right.  Which means my brain and sacred spinal column are capable of unspeakable mysteries.  And so I've put in a good effort to keep it clean just incase the light of eternity ever decides to flood the temple and cascade the conscious observer into an oblivion of awe.  Perhaps the toad will quicken the process.  We shall all see, and maybe I'll even let you know once I come back from the other side!!  Love you all.


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To Rafael:
I listened to a podcast you were on from Psychedelics Today, and a few minutes in I heard the host mention his name and that he was giving away a bunch of books on the website to raffle winners.  The name was one I was familiar with, so I looked up the website and low and behold, there was Joe who was a year ahead of me at University and who I sat in Eastern Philosophy with (we both having the same major).  So listening to that podcast is probably the reason I am registering as a user here today even though I have browsed this site once or twice before. 

keep it syncretic