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Greetings 5hivers

Started by GoldenDragonfly, October 08, 2018, 11:21:00 AM

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GoldenDragonfly

Namaste Familia Bufo,


I did the organic toad medicine about 6 months ago now, it was a beautiful experience during the process. I worked with a kind and wise facilitator who held the space well in a safe and beautiful setting. I took 3 hits building up to the full release (75mg). I felt the oneness of the universe, floated in this beautiful cloud like bliss filled with love, a state of sacred space which I imagine it takes yogi's a lifetime to reach.

When I got back home, my entire world fell apart.

Things which needed to be let go of, did so in an explosive and fast way. Firstly, I had extreme rage pour out of me (and still do at times) towards people who have not been good in my life, as well as reactivations in my dreams mostly for months after- vivid dreams showing me things which were very helpful, enlightening teachings.. once I saw myself staring at my freshly dug grave at sunset with indifference. Another showed me addiction being a black hole, which sucks energy from everything from the addictive person and all others in their circle around it.

I felt like I needed to learn addiction in this profound and visceral way as I was in a relationship with a severe alcoholic, (which ended right after the toad medicine). I then saw addictions everywhere, in all forms. Mini black holes, taking energy from its hosts and everyone in their lives in some form.

This is just one insight, there were many more.. It was def not easy, and I felt suicidal recently when another relationship appeared bringing me all the issues I needed to confront and face, this time in a different way. As if the universe gave me this opportunity to clearly see where I went wrong in choosing, and overlooking things in people.

Since the toad medicine, I am grateful for the immense healing it has brought me, but also now realing from the aftermath of so much pain and letting go of things and people which were very close to me. I have had a hard time sleeping since, I usually wake at 3am then can't fall asleep till 6pm, if at all. I was told this is from the pineal gland being flushed from how the toad changes your brain chemistry. I have been working on grounding. I found taking walks in nature, daily Rape' and Kundulini Yoga and meditation as much as possible helps with this.. but wish I could sleep better, I usually fight to get more than 4-5hours a night.

I was going to do the medicine again, then realized I have not yet fully integrated the last one, so cancelled. I am now navigating through being in the world in a different way, working on being very careful who I surround myself with, learning to love myself more.

Thank you for hearing my story,
x




Rising Spirit

#1
Golden Dragonfly, please know that you are awakening to integrate a new chapter within your life story.  Your honesty and sincerity ring like a bell from within the well of your heart.  It's not easy having a full blown kundalini release.  Sleep patterns shift, the familiar world becomes unreal.
 
Our connections with others swings from affinity to uncertainty, to sheer confusion and redemption (and rebirth).  Sometimes it seems as if this mortal world is quite dubious and one's interaction with fellow human beings accelerates into a new language, into new dimensions... often challenging and less unfied than ideally hoped for (given the often harsh encounters within our earthly paradigmn). 

That being said, the Sacred Medine commands an attunement with each and every point of conscious-awareness.  We are one and this is the true message.  Nondual vision is our inheritance, our truest nature.  But it's so primarily important to be patient with yourself.  Allow yourself to re-assimilate the ignited pure spiritual energy dancing so wildly within your biological system. 

I have found that if sleep won't come when the invited hour strikes, we grow exponentially as people, by shifting our attention to deep meditation and direct our focus upon soul immersion within the causative force beneath all appearances, forever present within every occurrence and alive in all possibilities, freely at play as it manifests as "the world" which we co-dream into a mutually perceptual reality.  Yet it remains infinite, absolute and eternally free.   

Find guidance within yourself, friend.  The sacrament reveals the light and the unity but we must touch the earth with this miracle.  We are called to open ourselves to our interconnections with everything.  I sooooooo respect your wise choice to integrate the teachings before going back to the sacrament. 

I honestly believe that we bloom in our own unique ways.  There are no formulas.  You are the architect of your own design.  Follow your own vision, be your own light and plunge fearlessly and eagerly into the vast ocean of your mind's heart.  Shine on brightly and thank you for bring here, as you so rock!  Namaskar.   _/|\_ _/|\_
There is no self to which I cling, for I am one with everything.

GoldenDragonfly

Thank you for such a well written and deeply profound reply Rising Spirit. I am touched by your words, and feel the truth in them. It was exactly what I needed to hear.  _/|\_


I have a question for you, I was wondering if you have any experience of knowledge about doing Ayahuasca within the same week or two of doing toad medicine? As I was in Peru recently and was shocked to find so many retreats offering a large number of powerful sacred medicines in a short amount of time.


I am writing a book in relation to this and would like to have your input, as I am including this in a section to warn people to not overdo such things.. as I feel its too much for most peoples nervous systems to mix those things as if ordering from a menu at a restaurant.. I don't believe many people are aware of the consequences that can have on them, and end up getting "blown out".


x

nottwo

Quote from: GoldenDragonfly on October 09, 2018, 04:35:15 PM
I have a question for you, I was wondering if you have any experience of knowledge about doing Ayahuasca within the same week or two of doing toad medicine? As I was in Peru recently and was shocked to find so many retreats offering a large number of powerful sacred medicines in a short amount of time.


From a medical point of view (alone), using any form of 5-meo-dmt shortly after taking ayahuasca which contains B. Caapi, an MAO inhibitor, is extremely dangerous. You've got to know there is no chance of there being any MAOI in the bloodstream before taking the toad medicine.


I know Crossroads Clinic, Tijuana, was using 5-meo to finish off their ibogaine treatments for addition with great success but my confidence in a lot of these centers in Peru and thereabouts in at an all time low (following a long period of investigation) and I doubt that many of them have a well thought out schedule.

GoldenDragonfly


Rising Spirit

#5
Quote from: GoldenDragonfly
Thank you for such a well written and deeply profound reply Rising Spirit. I am touched by your words, and feel the truth in them. It was exactly what I needed to hear.  _/|\_
You are most welcome, dear bright soul.  I simply resonated with your openness and the beauty of your truly unique spirit.  Sure, we are all one and we each are emmanations of the Infinite...  but we still each sparkle in our own fantastic way.  We all go through the same stuff.  We admit our trepidations and yet, we touch the Absolute.  We die as individuals and are reborn as light beings, wholly merged through intent into the vibrant effulgence of the unbroken totality, the pure light of the Godhead...  The One.  Your story is my story, is our collective story.  <3

Quote from: GoldenDragonflyI have a question for you, I was wondering if you have any experience of knowledge about doing Ayahuasca within the same week or two of doing toad medicine? As I was in Peru recently and was shocked to find so many retreats offering a large number of powerful sacred medicines in a short amount of time.
In my own belief system, and who can say if it is valid or off the mark....  this is most unwise.  Firstly, it shows little respect for the teacher plants and secondly, it confuses the voyager, as the medicines mixed together loose something of the purity of their teachings (in light of their specific and particular healing).  I feel it's best embrace them with full attention, stepping into full immersion with the particular lessons and augmentation each molecule bestows.  Overloading your system with several medicines is a dangerous path.  Some find great benefits, as others loose their intended aim and focus.   Many fuse their heart to such combinations and seeking this HUGE effect is their own calling...  while others staunchly avoid it. You decide for yourself.  I advise restraint and sincere interphases. 

Quote from: GoldenDragonflyI am writing a book in relation to this and would like to have your input, as I am including this in a section to warn people to not overdo such things.. as I feel its too much for most peoples nervous systems to mix those things as if ordering from a menu at a restaurant.. I don't believe many people are aware of the consequences that can have on them, and end up getting "blown out".

x
Nice.  Hold true to your vision and your inspiration.  Please write your book and sincerely share your insights into this miracle of this existence we share.  I know you are here to do good works.  Shine on, clearly, sweetly and ever so brightly!!!    _/|\_ _/|\_



There is no self to which I cling, for I am one with everything.