newbie

[celestino]

hi everyone,
allow me to introduce myself to you,Ii am a spaniard 66 years old-young and I have come in contact with the toad (el sapito in spanish) last december.

a bit of my backgound, I was brought up as a catholic. in my early twenties I began to practice hatha yoga, then I contacted the sri ramakrishna people and I studied vedanta as expounded by them, very much interested in advaita, sri ramana maharshi, sri nisargadatta mj., j. Krishnamurti, u.g. Krishnamurti. then I explored Rudolf Steiner´s Anthroposophy and I did a training in biodynamic agriculture at Emerson college, england.

I began at 17 smoking pot then LSD, then addicted to heroine for 7 years, dropped substances and back to yoga vedanta at 33

last fall I ate 10 psylocibe semilanceata (monguis, bonguis are called in spain) whichIi found in a field and later I began reading about psychedelics, then I came to DMT a bit later to 5-MeO-DMT and I said to myself this is what I have been looking for all my life. the experience of union with the divine!

there is a place in Madrid where they facilitate the toad, ayahuasca,yopo,kambo, iboga, and there I had my first experience of the toad(elsapito), when I was reclining on my back  the words "Señor"(my Lord) came out of my mouth then I lost consciousness and the experience was not at all what I had read or imagined, I did not have unión with the source, the all, nothingness. I felt very peaceful on coming back and the realisation that words did not matter at all, nirvana, samadhi, etc are just words and they don´t matter there, one day just when sitting to meditate the words Vedanta came to me, Vedanta means the end of the vedas ,the words! . i am exploring the toad presently,i am raising the dose 10 mg each time, next one will be 50mg and it will be my 7th smoke.

love and light to us all. celestino

[Rising Spirit]

Hola and welcome to this wonderful collective.  I am curious if your other six voyages with the medicine were the same for you, in terms of union with the Divine.  Have you been able to stay consciousness during your subsequent journeys?  Have you had the white light immersion in any of your 5 encounters?  Has your Kundalini been activated from any of your sessions?  Where you aware of the sonic nature of the universal pulse, "the carrier wave" or rather, the AUM vibration echoing into eternity?  For myself and the three eclipses I've had with the 5 sacrement, entering the nondual state was sudden and honestly, quite overwhelming.  Everything about it paralleled the classic arousal of Nirvikalpa Samadhi. 


It's sooooooo difficult to describe a place where there is no thought and one's self is wholly dissolved within the immensity and rapture of oneness.  In my 3 experiences, the awareness of being existent remained palpable, yet, I was not a separate aspect of the whole, observing the phenomenon, I had a deep remembrance of having always been the source and the center of that which is beyond any iota of division. This culminates with a dissolution of ego, becoming lost in the blinding effulgence of the undifferentiated void, the unified field of the Omniself.  I share many of your spiritual interests and yogic inspirations, especially Advaita Vedanta.  Please share more of your experiences with us.   

[celestino]

hi raising spirit,thanks for your reply. in 3 of my experiences with the medicine consciousness disappeared, so no light , no kundalini, no aum, no whatever, not a single thing, deep peace on becoming conscious. it seems i have not had a breakthrough,any way i am happy wherever the medicine is taking me presently, anyway I am raising the dose of the medicine each time I take it. i have heard from Gerardo Sandoval that above 50mg there is psychedelic experience and above 70mg entheogenic experience, so i will let you know of my next experiences.

in the other 3 smokes i did not loose conscious of myself and the world around, in one i was awake in a kind of absent-present type of cosnciousnes and I thought perhaps this was the state sri ramana marshi what he called sahaja samadhi or natural samadhi. I saw the people in front of me and I said to myself,"are they not feeling the vibration of my state? -ego reconstructing?-

in my second conscious experience with the medicine, what came to me was,"there is no union, no light, no breakthroug, but everything is ok as it is -tathagata, suchness, isness - and there was a feeling of peace and love. in my third and las experience with the medicine i was conscious and I saw some fractals with open eyes and a feeling of peace and beauty, satyam-shivam sundaram, this visión lasted a minute or so, then peace and love.

all the best and never let it rest

[celestino]

hi everyone;
last monday was my 7th immersion in "el Santo Sapito" (the Holy Little Toad). I was assisted by my nephew A. 54 mg I am increasing the dose 10 mg each time.

I stayed in a semiconscious state, I would use the sanskrit word SHANTA to describe the experience, which means peaceful,calm, serene, easyness, silence. It is kind of like el Sapito untied the knots of my persona and take me to a state of Shanta, absence of goals,of tensions, Absence/Presence state of consciousness.

Breathing became very profound on coming back to my self I told to my nephew,"Today there are less words,aren´t they?"
A  Little later I told him about Sri Ramakrishna and his abiding in his samadhis and  the state of Bhavamukha where he finally abode by the grace of the Divine Mother,Bhavamukha means having one foot in the absolute, non-manifested state, and the other foot in the relative or creation/projection state.
After a while my nephew had to leave so I had to shut up my mouth…

I would equate the Sapito with GRACE in the sense the christian tradition means. I wonder if in my normal state of consciousness I could ever rise to those heights...EXQUISITENESS.

may we all have Light and Love. Celestino

[HumbleVoyager]

Bienvenido! I hope you'll be able to share and process your experiences with others here.

Thank you for joining this community!