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Topics - 5alive

Toad Experiences and Testimonials / struggling atheist
September 05, 2019, 11:10:44 PM
I've been a non-believer in anything more than the physical world as long as I could think for myself.  I've been going through a severe depression since last year and began trying many different substances that had scientific studies with use for depression.  Bufo made a huge shift in my well-being for a week after I tried it (the biggest impact compared to anything else I tried).  The afterglow faded, and I've now been using it frequently trying to find happiness within myself.  When I'm on it, I feel like I have all the answers with universal love and a sense of enlightenment, but as soon as I come back to awareness of myself I sense an internal struggle, feel nauseous, and hate how my view of the world seemingly limits my happiness.  I feel like if I believe in god I will just be fooling myself to be happy.  I feel very confused, like I'm uncomfortable being an atheist but also uncomfortable believing in divinity.  I wonder if anyone else has had similar struggles or has any advice?
Preparation and Integration / toad skin?
September 04, 2019, 11:19:48 PM
I found a bufo toad that was tragically hit by a car (he was already completely dried up like jerky, so it must have happened weeks ago).  I felt so sad for him and took him home with me, but now don't know what to do with him.  My inclination was to bury him in my backyard.  I've read online that you can smoke the skin of the bufo toad, but it seems like too much of a violation to cut him up.  I didn't know if anyone has tried this or has any advice?
Introductions/Newbies / Hello Hive
August 26, 2019, 03:56:42 AM
Hi Everyone!

I have battling depression for the past 10 months and tried many many substances attempting to heal (ayahuasca, iboga, rapé, San Pedro, mushrooms, ketamine, mdma). I felt I was broken and just needed to go on antidepressants to numb the pain. A major shift happened when I did bufo and I finally feel I am on the path to happiness. I've done it 6 times so far, about every 2 weeks. I am nervous every time I do it, but I really feel the call to keep working with it to help me be the beautiful person I hope to be. I am so grateful to have found this transformative medicine! <3