Integration

[mrnothing]

Hi Fellow Hivers 😃

it's been almost Three weeks since I blasted off into the Void and saw that I was IT , I'm waking up every Day with the Enormity of what I saw  and having a bit of trouble  with motivation and thinking "what's the point"....it's all an illusion anyway.

Anyone else feeling this ?  .....

[Handshake]

Wonderful that you bring this up... the blank canvas effect.
I like to call it that because it appears that there is no inherent meaning, the previously present motivating factors for participating in life are removed or diminished and we are at a sort of square one.

This is quite common with 5-MeO-DMT. This is also where integration plays a huge role. What structures do you have in place for integration? And if you don’t have any that’s okay. Would you be open to some suggestions on integration resources such as therapists, activities, and exercises?

Know that you’re here for a reason, though that reason may be unknown to you in the moment. Hopefully by integrating this huge experience you’ve had you will emerge with deep peace in knowing that you are part of the Enormity your described. We’re here for you and you’re in the right place

[mrnothing]

Hi,

thanks so much for your kind reply.

I have been doing some Yoga and meditation for about a year now, so I have continued with that ...although some days the Night energies are so  intense that I don't need (or want) to meditate , I do a lot of grounding techniques.

I have reached out to as many people that I can find  that  I can meet and talk etc., last week I had a Rápe session which helped a lot and yesterday I had some Bodywork(Chakra clearing energies work)  done  which helped a lot but then left me feeling more empty today.

I kind of just accepted it and went on about my Day feeling like a Shadow doing stuff 😉 later on I saw /felt some Light/Joy.

I would be open to any suggestion's about therapy etc.,  😁

The Blank  Canvass....that felt great a Day or Two after the event , but now seems very  dull and   pointless , my jogging routine that was I guess motivated by ego pre 5Meo is barely  existent now and many other things like work etc. 😁 I hope that the light will shine through one day and I will be able to  Ride the wave of life like a God 😁

[Handshake]

Hi,

thanks so much for your kind reply.

I have been doing some Yoga and meditation for about a year now, so I have continued with that ...although some days the Night energies are so  intense that I don't need (or want) to meditate , I do a lot of grounding techniques.

I have reached out to as many people that I can find  that  I can meet and talk etc., last week I had a Rápe session which helped a lot and yesterday I had some Bodywork(Chakra clearing energies work)  done  which helped a lot but then left me feeling more empty today.

I kind of just accepted it and went on about my Day feeling like a Shadow doing stuff 😉 later on I saw /felt some Light/Joy.

I would be open to any suggestion's about therapy etc.,  😁

The Blank  Canvass....that felt great a Day or Two after the event , but now seems very  dull and   pointless , my jogging routine that was I guess motivated by ego pre 5Meo is barely  existent now and many other things like work etc. 😁 I hope that the light will shine through one day and I will be able to  Ride the wave of life like a God 😁

It sounds like you've been finding techniques that work for you in the integration process and that you're finding acceptance in the process. That's wonderful to hear.

Sometimes in order to make the Blank Canvas make sense, we have to put our own will and our own "colors" onto it. So what fills that blank canvas are the intentions and desires and meaning you create for yourself. What are your new motivations?

As for therapeutic suggestions, I recommend you continue sharing on the forums here and stay engaged with this community, as there are many others that have had similar experiences. I also recommend checking out Psychedelic.support to connect with therapists who are familiar with these kinds of experiences and can help with your integration process.

Thank you for sharing and thank you for being a part of this community!
May you find the Light to guide your life.

[mrnothing]

Hi,

I've been waking up after 4 hours sleep the last 2 nights, feels like something is changing   It feels like  I've had 50 cups of Coffee the awareness in my head , no chance to get to sleep.

Feel like I should be listening for a message or info.,  feel some fear and anxiety. Also get the feeling that the Veil is maybe closing and I'm a bit sad that I'll lose the connection that I've had since my 5meo trip even though some days I wished it  would stop and I could go back to how I was before 😉

[Handshake]

Hey there mrnothing,

I'm sorry to hear this process has been interrupting your sleep. How synchronous that another one of our users made a post about this exact issue?!
Check this out:

Hey Guys, I wanna tell you I'm fine again. Stopped meditating altogether and the energy is almost gone now. Sleeping well. Thank you for your concerns!


I want to share something with someone who might need it in the future: Even if it feels like you can't sleep because of huge amounts of energy coursing through the body, just try to anyway. What happened with me is that, the energy eventually numbs itself and then out of nowhere, you fall asleep. The first week I had to wait about an hour for it to calm down, so I added one extra hour of sleep. Now I fall asleep as quick as the next man. It gets better, friend. Take care.


Also, stop using any meditative techniques you have discovered to raise the energy, even though they make you feel amazing. It's not worth your sanity.

If you want to read the whole thread that came from, you can find it here: https://forums.5meodmt.org/index.php?topic=50660.0

All the best,
HV

[mrnothing]

Thank you 

[Flux]

Hi there mrnothing -
it seems that physical activity helps greatly with reactivations, grounding especially but being in nature, swimming, running and yes, yoga. In terms of the blank canvas effect, this is not uncommon and can occur with other psychedelics too. What I would suggest is start trying new things in order to build up new connections to meaningful actions... learn an instrument, learn a language, try painting or drawing, or anything creative, volunteer something that could use your help... the sense of being in service is really valuable.
all the best,
Flux

[mrnothing]

Hi,

Sounds good, although last week I couldn't see the point in doing anything because I'll just die and be born again and die again etc. I  saw the Big picture and that none of it really matters.

I have been running and I swam 1km one week and it really did help but the running was hard, the Yoga and breathing techniques helped a lot too.

This week I'm back to work and feel so grounded and lacking in the Flow of energy that I think I've now done something wrong 😁 but it's all part of the Journey, I'm getting more positive, I had a Dream last night where I was laughing my head off, it felt therapeutic I could feel my heart  healing in a spiritual way.

I've noticed that foreign  Language seems easier for me now so I might try that and also I've always wanted to learn an instrument but didn't feel like a Natural player so who knows .

Thanks for the Tips,

Much Gratitude

Mrnothing

[Handshake]

Thanks for sharing, thanks for being part of this community, and thanks for finding that grounding you so needed!

It's great to see people working these things about and allowing a natural flow to unfold.
I am going to guess that in time you will start to see the deeper lessons from your session show up at crossroads in your life, and you will make different choices than you may have made in your past. Just trust that you have a new awareness and that it will serve you when needed.

[krapo]

[...] saw that I was IT [...] what's the point"....it's all an illusion anyway.

Hi... it's a great place to be in.


A big part of the integration game is to start really looking at your life in the light of this.  Where are you living an "automatic creation" -- a situation or pattern that seems to repeat itself beyond your control, but in reality was set up by you/IT and then forgotten about?


Conscious creation needs to be practiced.  It's like having a muscle that you haven't used since you were 2.  It's there but it's going to feel funny in the beginning.

[mrnothing]

Thanks, yeah feels funny ok, empty, starting to get glimpses of Joy again, but just because I'm forgetting  the experience.

It's hard to realise that we should enjoy this illusion  because it's not real but it feels real so why not.   We are here to experience the Manifested World even though it's an illusion and we will go back to nothing soon enough 😉

[Flux]

Listening to Dennis McKenna on Joe Rogan a few days ago, I am reminded of his stance that "if you are experiencing it, it is real". Thus the experience of 'this world' is as real as the experience of 'that one' and building some kind of epistemic bridge between them is important hwever that may work for you.


Often one of the overlooked aspects of integration is the everyday mundane tasks...washing up, showering, sitting in the sun, walking to the shops, etc. people rush to embrace other spiritual modalities like Vipassana meditation, Kundalini yoga, Wim Hof breathing, etc...when what is most needed is not to facilitate any further 'awakening' but to anchor the one that 5-MeO has catalysed