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Messages - bella17

March 26, 2019, 08:45:05 PM
  Really glad to have found this thread and to see the insightful posts thus far, as it represents the intersection of two worlds that are important to me at this juncture of my life. (Hopefully someone out there is still reading!)

I am a yogi, studying and practicing from the traditional hatha background (as opposed to the Kundalini yoga teachings, which are a different methodology). I have not had a full kundalini awakening, but my kundalini has been open and mildly active for many years, particularly during meditation. Most noticeably, this comes in the form of subtle vibration, shaking, spontaneous movements that I am not controlling, etc. On a broader spectrum, it has also brought about many changes (good ones) in behavior patterns, such as eating habits, who I choose to hang out with, the direction I'm veering my life etc. On the flip side of that coin, it has also begun to drastically highlight all the things that need work... difficult things I have kept shoved neatly into those dark spaces.

I use yoga and meditation nowadays as a tool for spiritual growth, and as life and the process of going inward has started to intensify and I continue to face my own shadows head on, I have turned to exploring with various psychedelics in order to help me face the things that I'm having trouble getting to otherwise. This has been a slow process, as there has been a lot of fear on my part to "lose control" with psychedelics, but I am gaining an understanding that this is the exact reason I must persist.

My experience to date (mild mushroom trips, several ayahuasca ceremonies and most recently 5-meo) have all had one striking similarity: a strong energetic effect. A release or un-tapping of kundalini, manifesting in powerful energy surges, in some cases lasting for several hours. It was after my second ayahuasca ceremony a couple years ago this particular 8 hour (!) surge happened. This was, I believe, the moment that induced kundalini to start rising (as opposed to it mildly moving but not really going anywhere.) While most of these experiences have not been uncomfortable, per se, it's become clear to me that when I use psychedelics it directly affects the energy system in tangible ways. Needless to say, that 8hr experience was extremely draining.

While I know I cannot lump these different entheogens into one category, as their experiences and methodologies are all different, I can broadly say that I've never had much in the way of hallucinogenic effect (mildly with ayahuasca) but rather, there has always been a sense that the plant (or the 5-meo in that case) was working on the energy system itself as a way of "clearing the channels". This is in alignment with the yogic philosophy, which says we hold all of our experiences (good and bad) in an energetic seed called samskara's. These seeds are both in the energy body and the psyche. And the sole purpose of kundalini's rising is to methodically clear out those old samskara's (karma's) so that we may reach enlightenment through it's eventual connection to the crown chakra. I believe the nature of kundalini is such that it is an intelligent process and will move as we become ready for it to move, but I also believe that plant medicine is of this same intelligence, which is why it's been used for thousands of years in spiritual pursuit.

I understand that 5-meo theoretically opens up our crown chakra and gives us that experience of ultimate non-duality (enlightenment) but without "doing the work" and clearing the energy pathways (which also entails working on your psychology) we cannot reach that place for good. My experience with 5 was in no way earth shattering. I did not 'see god' or feel non-duality or any of that. Mostly, I just blacked out. But again, when coming back to reality, it unleashed a well of energy, this time all emotional. I cried uncontrollably.. neither happy nor sad. Just raw energy being released.

So... I'm not exactly sure that I have a question here, other than I've been giving a lot of thought lately to how my experience with my own rising kundalini is affecting and altering my experience with psychedelics. I do believe there is a harmony happening and the psychedelics are enhancing the process (which is my goal) but I also want to be mindful about the approach, as I know all to well (as others have posted) that kundalini energy is not something to fuck around with. So anyway, I'm glad to see a place where these two conversations merge. Thank you!
Introductions/Newbies / grateful for all the info!
March 26, 2019, 08:34:59 PM
This world is relatively new to me, and I'm exploring mostly for spiritual pursuit and inner growth. I've only done 5 once, but have experimented with other psychedelics, and am always looking for more information to help my on my path. Thank you!