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Messages - JaguarWoman

You're welcome  :)
Sounds like the low handshake dose took you to the threshold of the portal and left you there in discomfort for a bit.  I discourage you doing this medicine alone the first few times. At the very least have a sober sitter.  I hope your next experience is a blissful one, and safe.  <3
Toad Experiences and Testimonials / Re: struggling atheist
September 16, 2019, 05:44:15 PM
Hi 5Alive,
I'm curious what's under the depression. What the root of it is.  There is always something.  As for believing in God or divinity...maybe you just haven't met a philosophy that you resonate with as of yet.  I never had any faith in a "man in the sky" who punishes sinners and sends them to hell.  I think we put ourselves in hell.  We ARE the man in the sky.  In so many ways we are the rulers of our lives, our destiny. The challenges and struggles and suffering that we go through actually help us to awaken and to grow. 5 is a very strong medicine. Be sure to integrate your experiences between sessions.  Try writing down your impressions. Things you see in YOURSELF.  In your daily patterns.  Pay attention to your thoughts. What do you say when you talk to yourself?  Pay attention to the world around you. You may notice synchronistic events occurring more rapidly as reality begins to respond to your growing awareness.

<3 With love,
Hello. I'm Camara. In this story I am a 39 year old mom and business owner in BC Canada.

I healed my C-PTSD (complex post traumatic stress disorder) with psychedelic therapy including Ayahuasca, MDMA and 5meo-dmt.  Following that I went into training and became a certified psychedelic & psychospiritual integration coach.  I've shifted my life to focus on helping others with their awakening and I'm now enjoying playing in reality.

I really love Alan Watts. <3 _/|\_

Here's a little bit more about me as I'm not squemish about sharing my story anymore.

I've experienced horrible things in my life:
[/size]- Childhood emotional neglect- Sexual abuse & rape as an adolescent- Living in foster care and on the street- Child pornography and prostitution- Being held against my will and forced to do awful things.- Juvenile detention (jail)
- My mother dying from her addiction
- Wilderness boot camp in winter
- Living in a cult reform school called CEDU for two years.
- Institutional psychological abuse
- losing my daughter to a terminal illness.

I tried so hard to get better. To be "normal" to be successful and follow my heart but I was still deeply wounded.

I became so "mentally ill" from all of that. (Yes you can be mentally ill and still get straight A's and graduate college).

I even attempted suicide. I tried just about about everything for my C-PTSD / developmental trauma/ anxiety / depression. Anti-depressants, anti anxiety medicine, counselling, psychologists, psychiatrists, CBT, the eye thing, tapping, natural remedies.

And I still couldn't shake it. I dreaded waking up in the morning and I sought solutions outside of myself.

Until I did an Ayahuasca retreat with a physician and a team of therapists.

I got more out of that retreat than 22 years of talk therapy.

I followed that up with participation in an MDMA assisted psychotherapy and 5meodmt session two months later and since then i have been 100% free of depression, anxiety, symptoms of PTSD and insomnia.

That was more than a year ago.

My life has turned 180 degrees and I feel more self aware, more self-love, more peace, more joy, more connected than ever before in my entire life. I was finally able to let go of the guilt, shame and fear that was causing my self-hatred and disconnection from my true self.

I am forever grateful for the pioneering medical professionals who are researching and practicing psychedelic therapy.

[/size]My true self is the Brahman.