Messages

1

Introductions/Newbies / Re: New born

« on: February 15, 2023, 10:08:05 PM »

Wow...  so simple.  So profound and so very beautiful.  Welcome home, friend.   

2

General Discussion / 4-HO-5-MeO-DMT & The Church of Psilomethoxin

« on: January 28, 2023, 11:01:44 AM »

A wonderful new form of 5-MeO-DMT has been created and this ushers in an ingestible form of the sacrement, 4-HO-5-MeO-DMT.  It is produced by introducing 5-MeO to pscilocybe cubensis mushrooms, although the 5 is wholly predominant  What a beautiful synthesis!  I've yet to be anointed but it is very exciting news.  Some really good folks had created a church and support network for it's members.  I just wanted to  share the info with you all.  Their website is:  https://psilomethoxin.com/   

3

Spirituality / Re: Oblivion and The Dissolution of The Finite Self

« on: January 22, 2023, 09:54:19 AM »

The things which have struck me in my repeated dissolutions into this unity are: the undeniable fact that that unity is truly real, and this dreamscape of duality is like a child's game of make believe - nothing is at stake and nothing can possibly be wrong. It is always clear from "there" that this is true and that it doesn't matter a whit if "I" remember that or believe it from here. And yet this little self persists in having preferences and even worries. So odd. Another thing which I never tire of is the blessed, glorious release from this cramped, tiny, trivial prison of self.

Truly, this dreamscape we each experience is quite the 3-dimensional optical illusion.  That said, we are called to voyage beyond the beyondest of beyonds.  Yes, the totality is the only genuine reality and our challenge is to attune our conscious-awareness to the Source and harmonize our vibrations with all life forms and all unseen, insubstantial phenomena, as well.

Some say it is like dying - I have not died so I don't know, but being free of this hovel (as nondual teacher Francis Lucille has called it) is the greatest relief it is possible to have. This small and fussy self is not a real thing, it's a pattern of constriction imposed on the eternal infinite One. And the experience of freedom from that pattern is quite difficult to remember clearly once re-imprisoned in the hovel. Another message which is abundantly and emphatically conveyed to this self each time it reconstitutes itself out of the shining nondual Source is that this experience is not "mine". What I take to be "me" when not in unity with Source, is made of That (being as there is in reality nothing other than That), but the me is not God.

Aham Brahmasmi.  I am Brahman/God.  In an Adavaitic sense, the small I is wholly illusory, as all is the Divine quintessence expanding and contracting in a magnificently mesmerizing, enigmatic rhythm.  I drowned as a boy and experienced an OBE and witnessed the great Light...  but it was superficial compared to a near whiteout 5-MeO journey.

The humility and reverence that overflows in me as I return from this communion with the All is profound, and I cringe when I sometimes see the experience mistranslated (IMO) as "I am God". All there is, is God, and yet this tiny self is not even a thing, and can no more contain or own the experience of the Divine Source of All, than a goldfish could contain the Pacific Ocean.5-MeO-DMT is the profoundest sacrament. I am in eternal gratitude.

Word.   

4

General Discussion / Re: Megalomaniac ego rebirth after ego death?

« on: December 25, 2022, 10:47:06 AM »

This is a very old post, being nearly 4 years old. Yet I feel it’s absolutely crucial and still vitally relevant. Qdos to the poster, I hope we can get some answers.

So why is it that often awakening through psychedelics (and other means), can so often lead to a super inflated ego? It happens time and time again - people with incredible levels of insight & awakening develop the most obnoxious egos. Why is that?

This phenomenon is certainly not limited to just medicine people and entheogenic voyagers.  One can find innumerable cases of people experiencing:  mystical states, losing fixation with their egoic self-mesmerizm, merging into oneness, dissolving into the absolute Godhead, etc...  who return to recreate a sometimes monstrous, messianic complex.  Many, many, many "spiritual teachers" and gurus reveal contradictory behavior and conduct, despite their follower's incistance and fervent proclamation of their enlightenment.  It's simply the often contradictory nature of the human being.  How proposed sages warp into predators is most disturbing but hardly uncommon in any religious tradition or cult.  "Absolute power corrupts absolutely".  Bhagwan Rajneesh/ "Osho" being the most famous example in recent times.  Although, there have been many others, with many more yet to come.

That said, the process is amplified and exaggerated from the use of psychedelics, to such a degree that psychonautical pilgrims can transform from rock musicians, psychotherapists, actors or exotic dancers... Into neo-shamans, psychic healers, mystical mediums and well-paid life coaches.  In extreme cases, we encounter brand new Avataras of this present Age, ready to dish out sermons, doctrines and initiations.  I liken it to a sort of gravity for the mortal soul.  Dissolving all constructs of oneself whilst entranced, yet, coming down to earth, only to deal with duality in the afterglow.  When freed from the limitations of the isolated and individuated ego-self, the Spiritus blooms exponentially and how this mutates into a sort of spiritual narcissism, is quite disappointing and most perplexing, to say the very least. 

But hey, it's all a part of the dreamscape that people manifest.  The 5-MeO sacrement assuredly, potentiates this phenomenal shift with an immensity and an immediacy that has no other equal from the many powerful psychedelic compounds used as sacred medicines, despite the wealth of insight and spiritual healing that they mystically gjft.  Still, each medicine unites the isolated seeker to the universal state in their own unique ways.  Absorbing the explorer in the very fusion of the  enigmatic journey, devouring the illusion of separateness within the fulcrums of the cosmic exploration.  Miraculously, one's separate self resolidifies and rebuilds even more rigid conceptualizations such as, "I am here to teach humanity", "I am God" or "I am here to save the world".  Worse of all is, " I am the Master.  Come to me, I will enlighten you too."

Some greatly tempted folks even decide that their own abundance is of primary importance and their utmost concern.  This leads to charging outlandish fees for the anointment with the sacrement and/or integration coaching, after ceremony.  Duality sure has it's sneaky ways of contradicting the nondual epiphanies experienced by soul birds in their intrepid flight.  I suspect that even Zoroaster, Moses, Mahavira, Socrates, Buddha, Lao Tzu, Yeshua (Jesus Christ), Kabir and Sri Ramana Maharshi grappled with the ego-self's incessant fanfare?  The perpetual ole house of mirrors?  Life is but a dream, after all.  That said, Merry Christmas and Happy New Year, everyone!   

5

Spirituality / Oblivion and The Dissolution of The Finite Self

« on: November 06, 2022, 09:51:36 AM »

Greetings all.  From my view of things, the most powerful teaching that Sacred Medicines gift is the temporary erasure of our conditioned ego-referencing.  Perhaps one might see this as the brief cessation of the isolated, finite self?  Certainly all beings experience this during deep sleep and unconsciousness.  Yet, the way that psychedelics dissolve the solidity of individuality is most remarkable, as it is a wholly conscious realignment.  Conscious of exactly what?  My humble belief is that the psychonaut becomes conscious of primordial conscious-awareness itself.  Call it:  Brahman, the Godhead, Christ or the Eternal Tao but it remains free of any and all rational quantification.  As such, it's the unique type of awareness that is wholly epicentrical, multi-dimensional and even multi- directional.  This doesn't allow for subjective perception, per se, for such a deep remembrance tosses all associations with ordinary perception into sheer oblivion. 


Some might emphatically argue that there is no different between deep sleep and Samadhi states...  from my windowsill, the distinct difference is that while asleep or dreaming, everything is obscured by an acute absence of all capacity of any conceivable degree of control over one's own awareness and it's direction.  By stark contrast, while in full-blown eclipsing of the peak moments of an entheogenic compound, a far greater sense of existential being is then programmed of perhaps even, imprinted?  Which is quite a topical catch word these days. Anyhooo... I do still say "imprinted" as the process requires no thought nor conceptualization and is dynamically interactive.  That comes later on, after touching down to earth as a kind of sacred remembrance.  Deeply rooted in the formlessness of the Source, mortal cognition abandons all boundaries and divisions betwixt this and that, yours and mine and such a state of being even shatters our cherished separation from God, through the duality of our collective, mortal religious worship. 


So the notion of oblivion arose in my thoughts today.  Of what special significance is the Medicine Journey oriented?  Through much reflection and intentional grounding, a message comes to the forefront and that is the message of Unity perceived within diversity.  Whether bathing within the bliss of spiritual Satori or suffering from the painful struggling which the isolated self believes is "reality"...  I have come to resonate with an understanding that the subtlest and truest nature of primary existence is essentially indivisible in nature and while it cannot possibly be known as an objectively concrete thing, it surely magikally creates, contains and re-absorbs all strata of this grand tapestry of life, recycling the energy and inertia back into an indivisible whole.  IME, 5-MeO-DMT reveals this shining truth with more power and limitless love, that any other known of molecule encountered by those who journey.   

I welcome any and all comments.  Wishing you each illumination on your intrepid journey home!  Namaste all.   

6

Introductions/Newbies / Re: Greetings

« on: October 04, 2022, 07:44:56 AM »

Hey there aracid, welcome to the 5 Hive.  We all know how difficult it is to encapsulate such an immeasurably powerful experience in mere words but can you share something of your inaugural voyage with the 5 sacrement?  During full-blown throttle whiteout mode, duality simply vanished and along with it...  so goes personal subjectivity.  Dissolving back into Source unification has a profoundly self-erasing effect but also, is a truly great teaching and healing experience.  The eternal vibration contained within everything, intensifies in frequency, while devouring any and all strata of conscious division or degree of separation from the totality.  That said, a veritable treasure trove of soul impressions and higher frequency sensations course thought the human vessel just prior to and post eclipsing states.  Please shed a little light on your spiritual journey and your direct encounter with the "God molecule".  Together we learn collectively about the universe all a round us and simultaneously, deeply within ourselves.  You'll find the experience report section the best place to share your introduction to this powerfully unique and most sacred medicine.  Namaskar. 

7

5-MeO-DMT Experiences and Testimonials / Re: Surprising effect

« on: September 11, 2022, 07:40:22 PM »

I share this experience to say that it is possible to go very far with 5 meo dmt.  I believe that it is an experience made for people who want to go to the de las of what we can propose currently, I believe that people who lose consciousness at high doses do not have the strength to manage psychically or physically the experience. There is a clash between the conscious and the unconscious that takes place, even if I prepared myself mentally to die for a long time, living it was still an ordeal, you have to know that I already lived a near death experience in my childhood and that it is for this reason that I wanted to consume 5 meo dmt to understand what I lived in the past.

I do agree to an extent but I honestly do feel that no mortal person is strong enough to keep their own personal existential paradigmn wholly intact through such an encounter with the sheer oblivion unleashed by 5-MeO-DMT.  That said, just prior to the whiteout interphase and post eclipsing, lifetimes of understanding can flood into one's being.  At the appex, subjectivity is impossible, as entering the undifferentiated field strips us of our ordinary human compass, for a seemingly brief spell.  Decades of meditation, concentration, contemplation, quantum theorizing, philosophising, breathwork and/or sensory deprivation, do greatly aid the voyager to a highly tangible degree but NOTHING can quite prepare us for this immense self-erasure (ego death). 

That said, those who have learned to surrender to the insubstantial force which our entire universe is created by, sustained by and eventually will be destroyed by or rather, reabsorbed by said force...  do indeed have a peculiar receptivity to containing the details and impressions that occur during journeys with this most sacred of medicines.  As you have clearly experienced, meeting God directly is more than a subject/object interplay.  The fusion literally devours our subjectivity.  The nondual eclipsing is so amazing I am at a loss with words to describe.  Besides, our limited human dialect can only effectively convey so much, eh?   

To live the imminent death in this way is really an incredible experience, the time was at the same time all and nothing, it is difficult for me to explain with words, I saw myself in a cosmic whole, I saw my place in the universe, that removed an enormous weight from me, the experience really helped me to free myself from a fear, that to die. Before, I was just struggling. That's all I can say about the phenomena I experienced.

I was in a state of shock, like a second birth but awake, brutal, unexpected and calculated, it is as if the destiny had imposed me to live this, I had a realization on the nature of myself. The place that I chose was very important to support me during this moment, I believe that deep inside I was prepared to live this since always, I feel really well, better than well, I realized that I had the power to manage this, I believe that the most important is not finished, after 12 hours I still feel the effects. 

Bravo!  On each of my twelve journeys with 5-MeO-DMT, I consciously dissolved, enigmatically into a vast vortexial fulcrum which completely erased my fragile personal framework, my accustomed mortal reference points, entirely!  Not at all comatose but vibrating at an incredibly high frequency.  The brainwave state this human vessel produced was most likely within the Lambda wave frequency (or so I humbly suggest).  I believe that in Zen, this is what is pointed towards by the descriptive, No Mind.  Human thought lifted into a trance state, washed away incrementally, but still enigmattically pulsing in rythem with it's own primordial epicenter...   Samadhi. This is the spiritual summit generations of mystics, magicians, theologians, monks and ascetics fervently seek in earnest, world over.  It's a most sacred gift that the Source shares with the psychonautically inclined amongst us.

 Now the old Buddhist notion of a vast luminous emptiness seems quite relevant.  I have always been drawn to the word Sunyata to point towards such a limitless, blinding spiritual effulgence, whose quintessence exists beyond all substantiality.  I like that.  I also vibe with the notion of the Eternal Tao.  Yet, said force which seems inherent within everything...  is no-thing at all.  Not a thing but the source of all things?  It may well be the cause of all that is?  Whatever the whiteout experience gifts is relative to the individual but at the peak, an undifferentiated vacuum dissolves away the lines of any and all separation.    "The clear light of the void".

Godspeed my intrepid friend.  I likewise feel a focused need to ground-out the epiphany, find buoyancy and healing.  Thanx so much for sharing your profound experience!   

8

Introductions/Newbies / Re: Hi everyone

« on: September 10, 2022, 06:11:20 AM »

Greetings and welcome to this fine collective.  If you do Zazen, then you have an advantage journeying with 5-MeO.  I'm sure you'll experience, as do I, a greater understanding of the incomprehensible, bright Void.  Please share your impressions of this sacred medicine in the trip report section.  Namaskar!     

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5-MeO-DMT Experiences and Testimonials / Re: horror trip

« on: August 04, 2022, 08:34:28 AM »

I am so sorry that you've suffered so much from your 2nd experience with 5-MeO-DMT.  And I wholly agree, you imbibed far too much of the sacrement.  Too much of any medicine is never good for the voyager's growth curve.  My only advice is to gradually ground yourself within this material realm and gently integrate your personal orientation to ordinary life again.  Prayer and affirmation are cathartic too.  There are a number of methods to firmly touch down:  Hatha yoga, Qi Gung, diet and nutrition, trail running, swimming, hiking in the mountains or walking by the seashore.  Sending you waves of love and heartfelt, healing vibes.   

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Introductions/Newbies / Re: Hi from Boston

« on: May 30, 2022, 05:36:22 AM »

Welocome aboard, SuzyQ.  Would you be kind enough to share something about your voyages with the 5 sacrament, in the proper sub-forum?  How do they compare, contrast or even complete your previous psychedelic journeys?  Mine have certainly been the culmination of an entire lifetime of seeking.  Whàt specific revelations have dawned within you during your intrepid  immersions into the bright void?  Thanks for joining the community and please feel free to share your experiences.   

11

Introductions/Newbies / Re: Here from Northeast US

« on: March 03, 2022, 11:15:27 AM »

Great to hear from you Rising Spirit! We likely have had similar trajectories on these issues: I first learned TM in 1972.

I  believe that it was 1974 when I picked up the Maharishi's book, The Science of Being and Art of Living.  Yes, that summer.  I had been training in Korean martial arts and meditation was a requirement.  My difficulty with Seon Buddhist sitting meditation, had been my underdeveloped capacity to hold singles-pointed attention upon an insubstantial, undifferentiated void.  Go figure.  Quite the ironic quest, eh?  Picture my 15 year old mind churning with adolescent fervour, determined to think about non-thought.  To conceptualize about something beyond concept.  Emptiness was an opposite mirror for me in those days.  I certainly didn't grok it at all nor identify with no-self as my epicentrical core identity.  It was like a mysterious shadow and I sought the light.

Naturally, I was caught up in dualistic notions and grasped for a methodology to occuoy my jumpy focus, I sought a more engaging practice of meditation.  Granted, years later I would delight in the mystery of Zazen but I needed a tangible system and TM was so valuable to me then.  Money mongerers?  Ultimately, it was through my early, ego shattering  experiences with LSD-25, mushrooms and mescaline, that the fruit of deep meditation was fully activated within me and my journey accelerated beyond navigating through layers and layers of contemplative paradigmns, spinning through out the labyrinth of my mind.

My first half dozen or so (technically, absent of any sense of separate self) Samadhi experiences, predated my knowledge of astral projection, breathlessness, mystical rapture, kundalini or even the chakras.  The following decades I meandered from Kriya Yoga, to Surat Shabd Yoga, to Suffism, to Natuve American shamanism, and eventually to Zen & Taoism.  At some point there was no longer any separation between the road and the destination.. All paths lead to the Source centered deep within this eternal moment.  How has your meditation practice evolved over these many decades?  What is the form or lineage of your current path?   

My practice is a "no-practice" in the sense that "I" attempt only to see ever more clearly that in actual experience there is "not two" (i.e., not a subject and object; not a "me" and everything else). It's a tough game, lol. I have had 3 very distinctive "kensho" experiences in this (one of which was in 1973, after doing TM for about a year). I'd like to see if 5 can help me push the envelope a bit -- even though I know through direct experience that there is no "me" and there's nothing to "push."

I too feel spiritually drawn towards the pathless path, the methodless method...  the way of no-way.  From my perspective, as a relative neophyte with the 5 molecule, nothing can nor ever could prepare the pilgrim for the immense degree of ego-erasure and sudden dissipation of any subject/object dichotomy.  That said, what you are conveying clearly shows quite an aptitude for being able to shift your perception to greater, far subtler fields of consciousness, to have cultivated a silence within and attained a lovely un-attainment within the clarity of a deep, steady focus.   Perfect tools to surrender oneslf into the blinding white brilliance of sheerest oblivion.  5-MeO-DMT is a wholly non dual epiphany had by no one.  Ergo, it is def a paradox and then some!  Or rather, perhaps the epiphany only registers in the post eclipsing phase, upon re-entry into sober mortal duality?  I believe that such is the case in regards to the voyage .   

I also have some ambivalence regarding experiences from others regarding entheogens. Many have clearly seen what's to be seen over and over again -- yet most I've heard from seem to have ended up being "tourists" rather than "Buddhas." Apparently, just seeing it is not enough. I'm hoping that I've laid a groundwork over fifty years such that "seeing it" will be a broader experience than it has seemed to be for others using enthoegens.... 

Fair enough.  My encounters are limited to an even dozen journeys and while my credo has always been, "less is more" I may embark further, I may not.  As long as I am invited by the sacrament, my heart is honestly still eager for the communion.  Could you share with us which entheogens you have experienced and how they impacted your sadhana?  Namaskar, my dear soul reflection.   

12

Introductions/Newbies / Re: Here from Northeast US

« on: February 25, 2022, 07:04:20 AM »

Greetings and salutations, Friend2All.  Welcome to the Hive.  Can you share a little bit more about your meditative practices?  I too, have had a keen interest in sitting and moving meditation.  My path began in 1974 with Seon Buddhist meditation (Korean Zen) but I found TM more practical for my teenage sensibilities.  It isn't the easiest route, embracing the shimmering emptiness of the Void, when post adolescence is stirring one's restless mind.  I found that mantra repetition and pranayama offered some structure and guidance, much needed during my turbulent youth.


When I was introduced to cannabis and later on, LSD-25...  my training in meditation took deeper root.  As I first experienced Kundalini activation, way back in 1978, I was drawn to Kriya Yoga, as taught by Swami Paramahamsa Yogananda.  Autobiography of A Yogi opened new doors for me and answered a great many questions that had been developing within my neophytic mind.  I joined the Self Realization Fellowship and took the lessons.  I personally find religious organizations rather stiffling and so, as the years turned into decades, I moved from one lineage to another.  None of them, however, offered the direct experience that psychedelics did.  That said, training the breathe and learning to access higher fields of cognition are invaluable for the intrepid psychonaut. So in my own case, the two paths are most symbiotic.  Please share something about your meditation practices and how entheogens have influenced your understanding and your spiritual growth.  Namaskar. 

13

Introductions/Newbies / Re: Hello from New England!

« on: February 25, 2022, 05:49:57 AM »

Welcome aboard, Soulina.  I too reside in New England.  Vermont in specific.  And you def hit the nail on the head, a great deal of the impact from the medicine occurs during one's post interphase experiences.  Integration is key!  How do we cope with losing our egoic structure, encountering Infinity and tasting the terrifying ecstacy of nonduality...  and then learn to maintain some sense of buoyancy within the dualistic nature of mortal life?  From my perspective, there is a steep learning curve, initially, but there are many ways to find balance and retain the essence of the teachings imparted by the sacred molecule.  Imbibing 5 rekindled a zeal within myself for yoga and deep meditation.  Naturally, it also brought greater affinity with just being outdoors, hiking in the woods or ascending mountain trails. How have you found your way since you were anointed?  Have you been inspired to re-evaluate your own beliefs about God, the Source and this immense universe?  I imagine some folks find themselves even more convicted towards atheism?  Have you taken up any spiritual practices, either a traditional religious path or one that is New Age?  Thanks for joining  the community and do please share your experiences with 5-MeO-DMT in the appropriate sub forum.  Namaskar             

14

General Discussion / Re: Whiteout Experiences From 5-MeO-DMT: Testimonials, Please.

« on: February 10, 2022, 12:42:34 PM »

I have been wanting to add a few new ideas and observations gleaned from my 11th ceremony with the sacrement.  An overwhelming flood of MeO whiteness washed away all traces of separation from the force that was obliterating my egoic framework, leaving nothing but a humming tone ringing infinitely and enigmatically...   echoing the eternal song of the Source.  Everything just vanished within the oscillations and light pulsations.  Individuality dissolved so rapidly the phenomenon erased all objective perception, resulting in a palpable nondual state, an indivisible, neon-bright emptiness pervading every direction at once without compromising it's vast Omniscience.  This blooming energy was expanding and conversely, contracting exponentially, both inwardly within the epicenter of the intrepid voyager's core of being & outwardly, towards the far reaches of the galaxy and beyond.


I now am beginning to feel that my first romantic notions about the 5-MeO experience are naive and fundamentally dualistic in nature. Seen from a more seasoned vantage point, it makes little rational sense to attempt mapping the route from personal to the suprapersonal, as both don't exist together in an experiential way.  Perhaps it's better to label the process as surrendering?  It always kinda believed that while the mysterious gray areas are likely phantoms, as there is either the transient dream had by the isolated soul or the transcendental void, undying within the absolute immensity of the Unified Field.  Yet two are still one and unbroken.  Glints of eternal reality, consciously conjoined within spiritual wakefulness...  I now see that both are ultimately the same. 


Does desire bring form into being from formlessness?  If so, whose? God's?  And it's an immense, cosmic desire at that.  Hence the need for our penchant for an objective reality.  It might well be true that whatever force awakens as all of life, ironically endlessly searches for self-reflection, one born of division and unification.  Well at least this makes use of paradox, new in light of a maturing depth of attunement and a genuine hunger for re-translating alternate interpretations of the above impressions?  Moving forward, there has been a kind of 7th sense developing within my puny human cognition.  A symbiosis keeps appearing before my rapt attention.  Connecting the remembrance of Source to the flower of creation, in neutral mindfulness, if you will?  It's a path stretching out before me.  Namaste. 

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5-MeO-DMT Experiences and Testimonials / Re: Open to any help here

« on: February 06, 2022, 07:46:03 PM »

To offer a slightly different opinion, sometimes more is not better, and it may be valuable to take some time to allow your system to regulate after an experience like that. Feel free to PM if you would like to discuss further or if you would like resources to support you.

Thanks for sharing your experience and being here with us!

If you take a psychedelic and you're not afraid that you did too much, you didn't do enough."

Probably I ought not to have posted this quote?  And agreed, slightly different opinions but I too, share the belief that "less is more"...  regardless of the entheogen.  Obviously Terrance was referring to less powerful medicines, like LSD-25, mescaline, psilocybin mushrooms or N,n-DMT.  That said, overloading the system can often be both hazardous and most terrifying!  And this wise axiom of cautionary dosage is even more urgent with 5-MeO-DMT, as too much medicine easily overloads the traveler's conscious-awareness and within the full throttle of a whiteout experience, much of the teaching and deep healing are obscured by the sheer intensity of the 5 ceremony. 


Finding proper equilibrium and fundamental buoyancy is key for integration and essentially, translating the gist of the 5 Sacrament's enlightening message to the innermost soul of the specific person, re-birthed from the sudden expansion, attunement, sheer dissolution, illumination, unification, re-entry and necessary grounding/ integration.  It's def sound advice to seek out resources for balancing the immensity with your return to consensus reality as we collectively, co-dream it into being.  Touching ground incrementally and finding true balance by applying the lessons of the medicine to regular old and oh so ordinary, day-to-day happenstance.  I sincerely do wish you well and encourage you to keep sharing yourself with family & community.  Peace & light.