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Messages - Rising Spirit

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Spirituality / Oblivion and The Dissolution of The Finite Self
« on: November 06, 2022, 09:51:36 AM »
Greetings all.  From my view of things, the most powerful teaching that Sacred Medicines gift is the temporary erasure of conditioned ego referencing.  Perhaps one might see this as the brief cessation of the isolated, finite self?  Certainly all beings experience this during deep sleep and unconsciousness.  Yet, the way that psychedelics dissolve the solidity of individuality is most remarkable, as it is a wholly conscious realignment.  Conscious of exactly what?  My humble belief is that the psychonaut becomes conscious of primordial conscious-awareness itself.  Call it:  Brahman, the Godhead, Christ or the Eternal Tao but it remains free of quantification.  As such, it's the type of awareness that is wholly epicentrical, multi-dimensional and even multi- directional.  This doesn't allow for subjective perception, per se, for such a deep remembrance tosses all associations with ordinary perception into sheer oblivion.  Some mind argue that there is no different between deep sleep and Samadhi states...  from my windowsill, the distinct difference is that while asleep or dreaming, everything is obscured by an acute absence of all capacity of any conceivable degree of awareness. 

By stark contrast, while in full-blown eclipsing of the peak moments of an entheogenic compound, a far greater sense of existential being is imprinted.  I say "imprinted" as the process requires no thought nor conceptualization.  That comes later on, after touching down to earth as a kind of remembrance.  Deeply rooted in the formlessness of the Source, mortal cognition abandons all boundaries and divisions betwixt this and that, yours and mine and such a state of being even shatters our cherished separation from God.  So the notion of oblivion arose in my thoughts today.  Of what special significance is the Medicine Journey oriented?  Through much reflection and intentional grounding, a message comes to the forefront and that is the message of Unity.  Whether bathing within the bliss of spiritual Satori or suffering from the painful struggling which the isolated self believes is "reality"...  I have come to resonate with an understanding that the subtlest and truest nature of primary existence is essentially indivisible in nature and while it cannot possibly be known as an objectively concrete thing, it surely magikally creates, contains and re-absorbs all strata of this grand tapestry of life, recycling the energy and inertia back into an indivisible whole.  IME, 5-MeO-DMT reveals this shining truth with more power and limitless love, that any other known of molecule.   

I welcome any and all comments.  Wishing you each illumination on your intrepid journey home!  Namaste all.   _/|\_ _/|\_

Introductions/Newbies / Re: Greetings
« on: October 04, 2022, 07:44:56 AM »
Hey there aracid, welcome to the 5 Hive.  We all know how difficult it is to encapsulate such an immeasurably powerful experience in mere words but can you share something of your inaugural voyage with the 5 sacrement?  During full-blown throttle whiteout mode, duality simply vanished and along with it...  so goes personal subjectivity.  Dissolving back into Source unification has a profoundly self-erasing effect but also, is a truly great teaching and healing experience.  The eternal vibration contained within everything, intensifies in frequency, while devouring any and all strata of conscious division or degree of separation from the totality.  That said, a veritable treasure trove of soul impressions and higher frequency sensations course thought the human vessel just prior to and post eclipsing states.  Please shed a little light on your spiritual journey and your direct encounter with the "God molecule".  Together we learn collectively about the universe all a round us and simultaneously, deeply within ourselves.  You'll find the experience report section the best place to share your introduction to this powerfully unique and most sacred medicine.  Namaskar.  _/|\_ _/|\_

5-MeO-DMT Experiences and Testimonials / Re: Surprising effect
« on: September 11, 2022, 07:40:22 PM »

I share this experience to say that it is possible to go very far with 5 meo dmt.  I believe that it is an experience made for people who want to go to the de las of what we can propose currently, I believe that people who lose consciousness at high doses do not have the strength to manage psychically or physically the experience. There is a clash between the conscious and the unconscious that takes place, even if I prepared myself mentally to die for a long time, living it was still an ordeal, you have to know that I already lived a near death experience in my childhood and that it is for this reason that I wanted to consume 5 meo dmt to understand what I lived in the past.

I do agree to an extent but I honestly do feel that no mortal person is strong enough to keep their own personal existential paradigmn wholly intact through such an encounter with the sheer oblivion unleashed by 5-MeO-DMT.  That said, just prior to the whiteout interphase and post eclipsing, lifetimes of understanding can flood into one's being.  At the appex, subjectivity is impossible, as entering the undifferentiated field strips us of our ordinary human compass, for a seemingly brief spell.  Decades of meditation, concentration, contemplation, quantum theorizing, philosophising, breathwork and/or sensory deprivation, do greatly aid the voyager to a highly tangible degree but NOTHING can quite prepare us for this immense self-erasure (ego death). 

That said, those who have learned to surrender to the insubstantial force which our entire universe is created by, sustained by and eventually will be destroyed by or rather, reabsorbed by said force...  do indeed have a peculiar receptivity to containing the details and impressions that occur during journeys with this most sacred of medicines.  As you have clearly experienced, meeting God directly is more than a subject/object interplay.  The fusion literally devours our subjectivity.  The nondual eclipsing is so amazing I am at a loss with words to describe.  Besides, our limited human dialect can only effectively convey so much, eh?   _/|\_ _/|\_

To live the imminent death in this way is really an incredible experience, the time was at the same time all and nothing, it is difficult for me to explain with words, I saw myself in a cosmic whole, I saw my place in the universe, that removed an enormous weight from me, the experience really helped me to free myself from a fear, that to die. Before, I was just struggling. That's all I can say about the phenomena I experienced.

I was in a state of shock, like a second birth but awake, brutal, unexpected and calculated, it is as if the destiny had imposed me to live this, I had a realization on the nature of myself. The place that I chose was very important to support me during this moment, I believe that deep inside I was prepared to live this since always, I feel really well, better than well, I realized that I had the power to manage this, I believe that the most important is not finished, after 12 hours I still feel the effects. 

Bravo!  On each of my twelve journeys with 5-MeO-DMT, I consciously dissolved, enigmatically into a vast vortexial fulcrum which completely erased my fragile personal framework, my accustomed mortal reference points, entirely!  Not at all comatose but vibrating at an incredibly high frequency.  The brainwave state this human vessel produced was most likely within the Lambda wave frequency (or so I humbly suggest).  I believe that in Zen, this is what is pointed towards by the descriptive, No Mind.  Human thought lifted into a trance state, washed away incrementally, but still enigmattically pulsing in rythem with it's own primordial epicenter...   Samadhi. This is the spiritual summit generations of mystics, magicians, theologians, monks and ascetics fervently seek in earnest, world over.  It's a most sacred gift that the Source shares with the psychonautically inclined amongst us.

 Now the old Buddhist notion of a vast luminous emptiness seems quite relevant.  I have always been drawn to the word Sunyata to point towards such a limitless, blinding spiritual effulgence, whose quintessence exists beyond all substantiality.  I like that.  I also vibe with the notion of the Eternal Tao.  Yet, said force which seems inherent within everything...  is no-thing at all.  Not a thing but the source of all things?  It may well be the cause of all that is?  Whatever the whiteout experience gifts is relative to the individual but at the peak, an undifferentiated vacuum dissolves away the lines of any and all separation.    "The clear light of the void".

Godspeed my intrepid friend.  I likewise feel a focused need to ground-out the epiphany, find buoyancy and healing.  Thanx so much for sharing your profound experience!   <3

Introductions/Newbies / Re: Hi everyone
« on: September 10, 2022, 06:11:20 AM »
Greetings and welcome to this fine collective.  If you do Zazen, then you have an advantage journeying with 5-MeO.  I'm sure you'll experience, as do I, a greater understanding of the incomprehensible, bright Void.  Please share your impressions of this sacred medicine in the trip report section.  Namaskar!   _/|\_ _/|\_ 

5-MeO-DMT Experiences and Testimonials / Re: horror trip
« on: August 04, 2022, 08:34:28 AM »
I am so sorry that you've suffered so much from your 2nd experience with 5-MeO-DMT.  And I wholly agree, you imbibed far too much of the sacrement.  Too much of any medicine is never good for the voyager's growth curve.  My only advice is to gradually ground yourself within this material realm and gently integrate your personal orientation to ordinary life again.  Prayer and affirmation are cathartic too.  There are a number of methods to firmly touch down:  Hatha yoga, Qi Gung, diet and nutrition, trail running, swimming, hiking in the mountains or walking by the seashore.  Sending you waves of love and heartfelt, healing vibes.   _/|\_ _/|\_

Introductions/Newbies / Re: Hi from Boston
« on: May 30, 2022, 05:36:22 AM »
Welocome aboard, SuzyQ.  Would you be kind enough to share something about your voyages with the 5 sacrament, in the proper sub-forum?  How do they compare, contrast or even complete your previous psychedelic journeys?  Mine have certainly been the culmination of an entire lifetime of seeking.  Whàt specific revelations have dawned within you during your intrepid  immersions into the bright void?  Thanks for joining the community and please feel free to share your experiences.    _/|\_ _/|\_

Introductions/Newbies / Re: Here from Northeast US
« on: March 03, 2022, 11:15:27 AM »
Great to hear from you Rising Spirit! We likely have had similar trajectories on these issues: I first learned TM in 1972.

I  believe that it was 1974 when I picked up the Maharishi's book, The Science of Being and Art of Living.  Yes, that summer.  I had been training in Korean martial arts and meditation was a requirement.  My difficulty with Seon Buddhist sitting meditation, had been my underdeveloped capacity to hold singles-pointed attention upon an insubstantial, undifferentiated void.  Go figure.  Quite the ironic quest, eh?  Picture my 15 year old mind churning with adolescent fervour, determined to think about non-thought.  To conceptualize about something beyond concept.  Emptiness was an opposite mirror for me in those days.  I certainly didn't grok it at all nor identify with no-self as my epicentrical core identity.  It was like a mysterious shadow and I sought the light.

Naturally, I was caught up in dualistic notions and grasped for a methodology to occuoy my jumpy focus, I sought a more engaging practice of meditation.  Granted, years later I would delight in the mystery of Zazen but I needed a tangible system and TM was so valuable to me then.  Money mongerers?  Ultimately, it was through my early, ego shattering  experiences with LSD-25, mushrooms and mescaline, that the fruit of deep meditation was fully activated within me and my journey accelerated beyond navigating through layers and layers of contemplative paradigmns, spinning through out the labyrinth of my mind.

My first half dozen or so (technically, absent of any sense of separate self) Samadhi experiences, predated my knowledge of astral projection, breathlessness, mystical rapture, kundalini or even the chakras.  The following decades I meandered from Kriya Yoga, to Surat Shabd Yoga, to Suffism, to Natuve American shamanism, and eventually to Zen & Taoism.  At some point there was no longer any separation between the road and the destination.. All paths lead to the Source centered deep within this eternal moment.  How has your meditation practice evolved over these many decades?  What is the form or lineage of your current path?   

My practice is a "no-practice" in the sense that "I" attempt only to see ever more clearly that in actual experience there is "not two" (i.e., not a subject and object; not a "me" and everything else). It's a tough game, lol. I have had 3 very distinctive "kensho" experiences in this (one of which was in 1973, after doing TM for about a year). I'd like to see if 5 can help me push the envelope a bit -- even though I know through direct experience that there is no "me" and there's nothing to "push."

I too feel spiritually drawn towards the pathless path, the methodless method...  the way of no-way.  From my perspective, as a relative neophyte with the 5 molecule, nothing can nor ever could prepare the pilgrim for the immense degree of ego-erasure and sudden dissipation of any subject/object dichotomy.  That said, what you are conveying clearly shows quite an aptitude for being able to shift your perception to greater, far subtler fields of consciousness, to have cultivated a silence within and attained a lovely un-attainment within the clarity of a deep, steady focus.   Perfect tools to surrender oneslf into the blinding white brilliance of sheerest oblivion.  5-MeO-DMT is a wholly non dual epiphany had by no one.  Ergo, it is def a paradox and then some!  Or rather, perhaps the epiphany only registers in the post eclipsing phase, upon re-entry into sober mortal duality?  I believe that such is the case in regards to the voyage .   

I also have some ambivalence regarding experiences from others regarding entheogens. Many have clearly seen what's to be seen over and over again -- yet most I've heard from seem to have ended up being "tourists" rather than "Buddhas." Apparently, just seeing it is not enough. I'm hoping that I've laid a groundwork over fifty years such that "seeing it" will be a broader experience than it has seemed to be for others using enthoegens.... 

Fair enough.  My encounters are limited to an even dozen journeys and while my credo has always been, "less is more" I may embark further, I may not.  As long as I am invited by the sacrament, my heart is honestly still eager for the communion.  Could you share with us which entheogens you have experienced and how they impacted your sadhana?  Namaskar, my dear soul reflection.   _/|\_ _/|\_

Introductions/Newbies / Re: Here from Northeast US
« on: February 25, 2022, 07:04:20 AM »
Greetings and salutations, Friend2All.  Welcome to the Hive.  Can you share a little bit more about your meditative practices?  I too, have had a keen interest in sitting and moving meditation.  My path began in 1974 with Seon Buddhist meditation (Korean Zen) but I found TM more practical for my teenage sensibilities.  It isn't the easiest route, embracing the shimmering emptiness of the Void, when post adolescence is stirring one's restless mind.  I found that mantra repetition and pranayama offered some structure and guidance, much needed during my turbulent youth.

When I was introduced to cannabis and later on, LSD-25...  my training in meditation took deeper root.  As I first experienced Kundalini activation, way back in 1978, I was drawn to Kriya Yoga, as taught by Swami Paramahamsa Yogananda.  Autobiography of A Yogi opened new doors for me and answered a great many questions that had been developing within my neophytic mind.  I joined the Self Realization Fellowship and took the lessons.  I personally find religious organizations rather stiffling and so, as the years turned into decades, I moved from one lineage to another.  None of them, however, offered the direct experience that psychedelics did.  That said, training the breathe and learning to access higher fields of cognition are invaluable for the intrepid psychonaut. So in my own case, the two paths are most symbiotic.  Please share something about your meditation practices and how entheogens have influenced your understanding and your spiritual growth.  Namaskar.  _/|\_ _/|\_

Introductions/Newbies / Re: Hello from New England!
« on: February 25, 2022, 05:49:57 AM »
Welcome aboard, Soulina.  I too reside in New England.  Vermont in specific.  And you def hit the nail on the head, a great deal of the impact from the medicine occurs during one's post interphase experiences.  Integration is key!  How do we cope with losing our egoic structure, encountering Infinity and tasting the terrifying ecstacy of nonduality...  and then learn to maintain some sense of buoyancy within the dualistic nature of mortal life?  From my perspective, there is a steep learning curve, initially, but there are many ways to find balance and retain the essence of the teachings imparted by the sacred molecule.  Imbibing 5 rekindled a zeal within myself for yoga and deep meditation.  Naturally, it also brought greater affinity with just being outdoors, hiking in the woods or ascending mountain trails. How have you found your way since you were anointed?  Have you been inspired to re-evaluate your own beliefs about God, the Source and this immense universe?  I imagine some folks find themselves even more convicted towards atheism?  Have you taken up any spiritual practices, either a traditional religious path or one that is New Age?  Thanks for joining  the community and do please share your experiences with 5-MeO-DMT in the appropriate sub forum.  Namaskar   _/|\_ _/|\_         

I have been wanting to add a few new ideas and observations gleaned from my 11th ceremony with the sacrement.  An overwhelming flood of MeO whiteness washed away all traces of separation from the force that was obliterating my egoic framework, leaving nothing but a humming tone ringing infinitely and enigmatically...   echoing the eternal song of the Source.  Everything just vanished within the oscillations and light pulsations.  Individuality dissolved so rapidly the phenomenon erased all objective perception, resulting in a palpable nondual state, an indivisible, neon-bright emptiness pervading every direction at once without compromising it's vast Omniscience.  This blooming energy was expanding and conversely, contracting exponentially, both inwardly within the epicenter of the intrepid voyager's core of being & outwardly, towards the far reaches of the galaxy and beyond.

I now am beginning to feel that my first romantic notions about the 5-MeO experience are naive and fundamentally dualistic in nature. Seen from a more seasoned vantage point, it makes little rational sense to attempt mapping the route from personal to the suprapersonal, as both don't exist together in an experiential way.  Perhaps it's better to label the process as surrendering?  It always kinda believed that while the mysterious gray areas are likely phantoms, as there is either the transient dream had by the isolated soul or the transcendental void, undying within the absolute immensity of the Unified Field.  Yet two are still one and unbroken.  Glints of eternal reality, consciously conjoined within spiritual wakefulness...  I now see that both are ultimately the same. 

Does desire bring form into being from formlessness?  If so, whose? God's?  And it's an immense, cosmic desire at that.  Hence the need for our penchant for an objective reality.  It might well be true that whatever force awakens as all of life, ironically endlessly searches for self-reflection, one born of division and unification.  Well at least this makes use of paradox, new in light of a maturing depth of attunement and a genuine hunger for re-translating alternate interpretations of the above impressions?  Moving forward, there has been a kind of 7th sense developing within my puny human cognition.  A symbiosis keeps appearing before my rapt attention.  Connecting the remembrance of Source to the flower of creation, in neutral mindfulness, if you will?  It's a path stretching out before me.  Namaste.  _/|\_ _/|\_

5-MeO-DMT Experiences and Testimonials / Re: Open to any help here
« on: February 06, 2022, 07:46:03 PM »
To offer a slightly different opinion, sometimes more is not better, and it may be valuable to take some time to allow your system to regulate after an experience like that. Feel free to PM if you would like to discuss further or if you would like resources to support you.

Thanks for sharing your experience and being here with us!

Quote from: Terrance McKenna
If you take a psychedelic and you're not afraid that you did too much, you didn't do enough."

Probably I ought not to have posted this quote?  And agreed, slightly different opinions but I too, share the belief that "less is more"...  regardless of the entheogen.  Obviously Terrance was referring to less powerful medicines, like LSD-25, mescaline, psilocybin mushrooms or N,n-DMT.  That said, overloading the system can often be both hazardous and most terrifying!  And this wise axiom of cautionary dosage is even more urgent with 5-MeO-DMT, as too much medicine easily overloads the traveler's conscious-awareness and within the full throttle of a whiteout experience, much of the teaching and deep healing are obscured by the sheer intensity of the 5 ceremony. 

Finding proper equilibrium and fundamental buoyancy is key for integration and essentially, translating the gist of the 5 Sacrament's enlightening message to the innermost soul of the specific person, re-birthed from the sudden expansion, attunement, sheer dissolution, illumination, unification, re-entry and necessary grounding/ integration.  It's def sound advice to seek out resources for balancing the immensity with your return to consensus reality as we collectively, co-dream it into being.  Touching ground incrementally and finding true balance by applying the lessons of the medicine to regular old and oh so ordinary, day-to-day happenstance.  I sincerely do wish you well and encourage you to keep sharing yourself with family & community.  Peace & light.   _/|\_ _/|\_

Greetings All,
                        I just wanted to touch bases with all of you fine 5 people.  Cheers for the New Year.  As so few comments have been added to this thread, it might be wiser to let it drift off into obscurity as some kind of cosmic gibberish?  Or might there still be something valid we might share about shifting conscious-awareness from the personal to the supra-personal...  from the individuated to the un-individuated...  from the awareness of form and substance, to the expansion of awareness that crosses into the formless and insubstantial?  I do believe there is.  Granted, any descriptions or lofty ideas we might convey deal in the dichotimous nature of the narrative...  I still naively feel it is healthy and most worthwhile to compare and/or contrast notes.   8)

One notion has come to crystallize within my admittedly limited human capacity for thought, which revolves around this rather heady matter, is how the blinding WHITE brilliance suddenly erases the dynamic of both self and other.  The experience is wholly nondual and the impact is staggering!  And it creates an existential urgency deep inside of the soul centered within this passing dream of mortal life.  One instinctively crafts an alternative paradigmn, internally and externally, for one's consciousness itself.  Born within the rapid expansion and full bloom of an energetic eclipsing with the Unified Field, whose vacuum absorbs and obliterated subjectivity like a supernova exploding galexies into star dust, enigmatically seats an epicentrical clear light void/zero-point energy field of sheerest quintessence, pulsing from deep within the vast emptiness.  As there can exist no duality in the very core of this all-pervasive force, the innate witnessing self is dissolved within seconds.  KABOOM and then no-thing.  No divisions or multiplications are even possible within the vortexial fulcrum of the Omniversal (were one silly enough to attempt to conceptualize a formula to pin-point the One, it would prooves ineffibley elusive).  Ironically, said Omniversal singularity is also born of an absolute zero-point inversion.  The eternal Tao.

Hence the blank canvas of subjective perceptual context?  Minutes later the ego incrementally coagulates and phew!  Back down to earth with a profound sense of gratitude and sincere humility.  After all, who isn't humbled by such a force?  In such an immense wake, grounding, balancing and integrating such phenomenal changes in perceptual data becomes by way of necessity, one's primary focus, both during the peak and following the destruction, dissemination, re-assimilation and entire rebirthing process.  Growing a new skin, if you will?  A skin which directly understands the underlying spirit humming within the emptiness within the fullness.  Recognizing a symbiosis with The Source and an empathic, inter-connection with all other forms of life...  to grasp some iota of reasonable cognizance of what takes place during a full whiteout experience and how to then reflect something positive and how this then, becomes quite life affirming.  Thoughts, counterpoints or personal anecdotes?  Namaskar folks.  _/|\_ _/|\_

Introductions/Newbies / Re: Blessings from Baja California MX
« on: January 13, 2022, 12:09:01 PM »
5MEO found me.  I waited 2 years for my first experience, which was divinely orchestrated in the most beautiful of circumstances. Pure magic. I acquired a cartridge of synthetic 5MEO about two months after my toad experience and have had about a dozen subsequent experiences since, navigating my way through a better understanding of this sacred substance, feeling called to learn as much as possible so I may safely share it with others.

I too share your feeling that this molecule is sacred and one is called to journey deeper and deeper into the immensity and sheer mysticism of such an experience.

I am here to learn. To grow. To connect with others who share my passion for this medicine.  To understand more about this divine gift, myself and our innate connection to everyone and everything.

I'm fascinated about the connection of 5MEO and higher states of consciousness mentioned in the Vedas, Bhagavad Gita, Yoga Sutras and other ancient texts. I'm interested in using this sacrament as a spiritual tool as we evolve into higher states of consciousness shifting into this new age. I'm enthralled with how it works in the brain and promotes neurogenesis.

Welcome home friend.  Please share some of your experiences with 5-MeO-DMT with the collective and feel free to include personal revelations, as well as cosmic ones.  It's always wonderful to compare notes or bring up pertinent aspects of our psychedelic voyages.  And yes, yes, yes...  enormous parallels exist between ancient yogic practices and the 5 experience.  I believe strongly that our beloved sacrement gifts the very kernel of Advaita Vedanta. 

My own personal lineage stems from the Tamil Nadu Nath tradition, Kundalini Yoga and Tantra, by way of Kriya Yoga (as taught by Paramahamsa Yogananda and the SRF) and other schools.  If one pays close attention, there exist clear hints of the alchemical connection, secret Ayurvedic medicines, by way of Sri Babaji Maharaj's instructions to a young Lahiri Mahasaya. 

 Once I was also involved with the Sant Mat path of Surat Shabd Yoga for some time, as my path unfolded.  I'm just not really a big fan of organizations, lineages nor well established sects...  too formal and hierarchical.  I have always  sought natural spontaneity. That said, the direct simplicity of Zen had always appealed to me.  This drew me towards Taoist teachings and naturally, sitting in Zazen became a path for decades. 

Please share your thoughts on meditation, psychedelics and their reverential integration within your own sadhana.  Grounding and finding meaning within very human, everyday events is so vitally key to our spiritual buoyancy.     

I have been documenting my experience and delving into scientific research. I would love to speak with others about their experience with the medicine, and eventually compile everything into a book. I'm a writer / yoga and meditation teacher, recently opened a healing studio on the beach in Baja about 3 hours south of San Diego. Ultimately, I'd like to hold ceremony in studio  and safely hold space for others interested in intentionally using this medicine. 

It is so so so sacred and I am humbled, honored, and beyond grateful for this gift.
 <3 _/|\_

That's just pure awesomeness!  It's so fine to have your presence here & now, joining in honest discussion, connection and support with the rest of us.   _/|\_ _/|\_

5-MeO-DMT Experiences and Testimonials / Re: Open to any help here
« on: January 06, 2022, 11:29:39 AM »
I recently had my first sessions with 5 and am happy to have found this Forum to bounce some thoughts and feelings around here.
I had waited 3 years to do this medicine and I am now sure as to why I waited. I did 2 rounds of insufflation of 5mg then 15 minutes later, 7.5mg. Right after insufflating the 7.5 I totally blanked out and then caught myself catapulted at light speed towards complete unknown. My authentic self and its voice found me(no idea how long this took) and told me I had to come back or I would be lost in this void forever. There was no support even though I was with a group of 8 others and when needing help they were busy with another participant as there were only 2 people supporting.

Amazing.  This is a classic description of accelerating through the emptiness of the undifferentiated, vortexial fulcrum of the nondual void.  It's a rather self-obliterating experience.  As I've experienced it, the very fabric of oneself dissolves within the rushing force propelling the soul of the witness deeper and still deeper into the indivisibility of the bright void.  Some folks experience a tunnel, others not.  I always feel as if a black hole is sucking me through the membrane of the dualistic nature of our material paradigm.  Whoever I am without my body and mind is, dissipates into a blinding pulsation of insubstantial effulgence.  In such a state...  what remains of one's subjectivity is totally ill-equipped to grok the limitlessness of the primary Source of all of being and non-being.  Yet, like the old saying goes, "There is light at the end of the tunnel." 

As I started to come back, yet still very deep in the medicine, I was completely disregulated and sweating profusely. I literally sweated out my clothes and within an hour they were dry again. I fortunately had a litre of water with me and that was consumed during the latter part of this session. I was in and out over approx. 1hr to 1hr 15minutes till I started to settle again. I have no idea where I went other then I truly felt I was going towards insanity. I have done Ayahuasca in a therapeutic setting over the last 10 years and only purged at this level once before in an 8 day Dieta with Rose and Hawthorne with 3 sessions of Aya. I have had difficult sessions yet nothing like this ever came through. Doing 5 was so intense in this way for me!  After this initial experience I wasn't sure I wanted to do any more medicine yet I calmed my system enough to feel into doing it with a small amount and felt that I would be ok with smoking one hit of 5-6mg that was dosed out in a water pipe. This session was after a break of around 30 minutes and was much gentler even though I felt the sensation of getting launched and then ever so quickly coming back with tears of gratitude coming through. I have little memory of where I went in this second session yet did not feel any related panic or terror I felt in the insufflation process.

I cannot possibly say with any modicum of certainty, but you may have snorted more of the medicine than you were capable of handling just yet?  That being said, Terrance McKenna once said, "If you take a psychedelic and you're not afraid that you did too much, you didn't do enough."  With 5-MeO it's common to feel that one has overdosed and/or that one may actually have died physically.  There is def a learning curve to entering into oblivion.  But you are here now, aware of this present moment and we all welcome you home.   _/|\_ _/|\_

I would love to hear more about others experiences and am definitely open to share more of my experience here. I have been left feeling confused yet coming back to curiosity now as I resettle into my day to day. I am also able to admit that I had a lot going on in my personal life, being with a complete set of strangers, and being in a big city and its collective energy definitely played into this. I have also been very cognizant of the sheer lack of integration process. I had to call the person who offered the session to share and query what had happened as I felt I had been given too much. It took me a few days to find the words to share that allowed me to see and feel what was and is my own experience.

Thanks for any helpful thoughts and/or direction as I am still very open to doing more of this medicine, building up over time.

While set and setting are key for any ceremony, this sacrement has the tendency to wholly erase the subjectivity of the intrepid pilgrim upon the sacred journey, albeit it temporary.  The molecule will consistently strip one of everything one dreams reality to be.  Even so, we all return and ideally, we've learned something profoundly powerful and life affirming, although the details are largely ineffable.  Thank you for sharing your journeys!  You have crossed threshold and I salute you.  Air hug!   <3 <3

Part Two.
(An attempt to quantify)

During my most recent and least obliterating of intrepid spirit journeys with 5, the subjective perception of my witnessing self remained intact for perhaps 85% of the psychedelic voyage.  This was due in part to my growing familiarity with the whole chemical bloom of the experience and more so, the amount of synthesized sacrement vaporized.  My last remaining bit from a 114 mg packet.  A gift from a beautiful soul.  It was likely to be approx. 5+ mg?  It was slightest volume I have ever consumed, in stark contrast to the previous journey, a classic whiteout experience.  In summation, the prior voyage was most self-erasing.  Not a blackout experience at all...  but something that takes conscious-awareness into an altogether different paradigmn, an infinite expansion of blinding light.  Such high energy shifts in perceptual dimensionality, literally vibrate the subjectivity right out of oneself (or is it deeper into one's self, to the very epicentrical core of being?).  Upon this recent, far milder voyage, I took careful notice of the series of the progressing stages of the trip.  I was accutely focussed on mapping out some of the primary attributes of such a nondual, transcendental experience.

As I am accustomed to do, I begin each DMT journey with the adequate amount of stretching, Hatha yoga and pranayama included.  I sit in deep meditation for 20 to 30 minutes and try to loosen myself up as much as I am able to, bodily, mentally and emotionally.  I clear the area carefully of potentially harmful objects and surround myself with blankets and pillows.  I always start such explossive experiences, mindfully sitting upright in a lotus posture.  Most of the time I end up either flat out on my back or I fall forwards onto my face and leave the material body helpless but safely here on Terra Firma, while meanwhile, I dissolve into the vortexial fulcrum of the omniscience of the eternal spirit.  Rarely can I maintain an upright sitting or standing posture with either DMT or 5-MeO-DMT.  This time, however, I maintained the padmasana through the entirety of the trip, holding space in a most attentive and deeply reverentialy way.   _/|\_ _/|\_

In terms of an almost immediate effect, was the awareness of an ever-increasing ringing tonality, whose intrinsic vibration creates multiples of sympathetic tonal harmonies, echoing endlessly, all combined to produce a symphony of ascending harmonics.  This is much like the ringing chime of an Asian brass gong being struck (yet with no beginning, nor any seeming cessation) and the tonal vibration acts an emissary sorts, echoing a frequency of sonics more powerful in such moments, than even galexies exploding into being.  It always sounds so conscious and ALIVE...  as if the ethereal ringing tonality was singing praises to the whole universe, echoing the voice of our Omniversal source.  The vibrating rings of energy cascaded throughout my mind and shattered my fixation with the mere surface of material life.  They all issue from a single, higher resonance tone and appear to mimic the supremacy of the single overtone.  Said "overtone" acts as a carrier wave and so, magnetically pulls one's rapt attention higher and deeper into the core source of the sonic vibratory field. 

Both N,N-DMT and 5-MeO-DMT share this higher tonality, oscillating fantastically, accompanied by the vertically sky-rocketing ride the pilgrim embarks upon.  The 5 sacrement seems less sharp and more serenity-evoking, if that makes any sense?  I always allow myself to travel consciously into the pulsations of the tonal ringing.  In conjunction with the sonic phenomena, there are intricate fractals weaving patterns in curved, aching geometric plumes.  While my voyages with this sacrement appear largely monochromatic, I noted the interplay of violet and teal-green refractions edging the intricately white lines forming the fractals within the inky darkness.  Each gentle pattern interlaced into a larger designs, melting incrementally into a ceiling of incomprehensible neon-brightness, whose clear and sparkling luminosity bespoke of the great effulgence, pulsing beyond this fragile mortal paradigmn.

There was a palpable building up of the Kundalini sleeping dormantly inside of my human physiology.  This 12th voyage with 5-MeO was astoundingly, yet unsurprisingly, exactly like a classical yogic description of the awakening of the Serpent Energy.  So much so, that I felt each ascending chakra ignite and fully activate, as the energy expanded by degree after degree.  The rise in energies was in total sync with the arching fractal weaving.  While quite less psychedelic and kaleidoscopic than with DMT or very high doses of LSD-25, the visions were softer edged, more lacey and extremely lovely.  They were projected over an inky blackness and above the arching wings of the personal witness, shone pulsations of laser beams, fractals of neon white light.  They were rays of effulgence that created an inverted pyramid of sorts.  These Jacob's ladder-like beams interlocked with corresponding pyramidal rays of energy rising up from beneath my bodily frame.  It appeared as if it arose from the very epicentrical core point of this entire planet.  The dual forces crystallized and coalesced as one clearly formed pattern.  Like the Star of David but multidimensional in scope. The center of this Star of David eclipsing with point blank within the focus of the Ajna chakra, the 3rd eye or...   singular eye. 

While the visual elements came so quickly, the sonic elements continued as the geyser-like rush of energy exploded into full bloom, which expanded into the entirety of my crown, as if the cosmos had opened an attic door into the Absolute.  And as the higher regions of my mind interphased with the full bloom of the Sahasrara chakra, the effulgence churning from higher fields of dimensionality ever entranced my internal observations. 

Naturally, my soul wished to go into a full whiteout eclipsing but I was content to float arms length above my material head, ecstatically fused with the indivisibility of The Light of God.  I was a holographic projection of the luminosity.  We all are always, however, the mesmerizm of our physical senses and the power of the mental ego, with it's penchant for dualism, keep us asleep and dreaming.  For a brief eternity, the "I" becomes translucent.  It shifts from a separate point of personal division, into a multidirectional vortex of a seeming infinity of selves.  The I becomes the Eye, if you will and there is this dawning realization that we are all the same indivisible being, The Omniself.  One unified field, a singular force, beating within all hearts, yet, free in limitless resplendence. 

From such a nondual epiphany, one's entire dream of being an isolated self, an independent part of the story is an utter illusion.  Whose mesmerizm is this anyway?  There is naught but the One, so without the divided mind of subjective perception, there exist a clarity and stillness, one far beyond any and all human thought forms.  Then at the perfect moment, Amrita floods from above and cascades into the vessel of the soul. This always nurtures the traveler's, mind's-heart, with the nectar of immortality and from such a state of spiritual reflection, the boundaries are effectively erased by the enlightenment of the underlying unity.  Tears flow from the corners of the eyes and Amrita trickles down the throat in ecstatic spurts.  I cannot honestly say if ordinary rates of breathing are actually happening, in such pivotal moments...  but if they are, it is ever so subtle a respiratory cycle.  Gratitude then follows, humility and a desire to be a much better person.  I am convinced that such an awakening has great value in increasing our compassion and empathy for others.  After all, when the lines disappear and the divisions dissolve within the pulsation of the great white light, The Source reveals itself in the most loving yet terrifyingly of ways, literally devouring our mortal limitations. 

A few weeks of grounding and integrating has done wonders for my outlook on life.  I am greatly humbled and so thankful.  Peace, love and much light to you all, my fearless friends.  Om Shanti.   <3 <3

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