Author Topic: Open to any help here  (Read 745 times)

Offline Satori007

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Open to any help here
« on: January 04, 2022, 01:53:41 PM »
I recently had my first sessions with 5 and am happy to have found this Forum to bounce some thoughts and feelings around here.

I had waited 3 years to do this medicine and I am now sure as to why I waited. I did 2 rounds of insufflation of 5mg then 15 minutes later, 7.5mg. Right after insufflating the 7.5 I totally blanked out and then caught myself catapulted at light speed towards complete unknown. My authentic self and its voice found me(no idea how long this took) and told me I had to come back or I would be lost in this void forever. There was no support even though I was with a group of 8 others and when needing help they were busy with another participant as there were only 2 people supporting.

As I started to come back, yet still very deep in the medicine, I was completely disregulated and sweating profusely. I literally sweated out my clothes and within an hour they were dry again. I fortunately had a litre of water with me and that was consumed during the latter part of this session. I was in and out over approx. 1hr to 1hr 15minutes till I started to settle again. I have no idea where I went other then I truly felt I was going towards insanity. I have done Ayahuasca in a therapeutic setting over the last 10 years and only purged at this level once before in an 8 day Dieta with Rose and Hawthorne with 3 sessions of Aya. I have had difficult sessions yet nothing like this ever came through. Doing 5 was so intense in this way for me!  After this initial experience I wasn't sure I wanted to do any more medicine yet I calmed my system enough to feel into doing it with a small amount and felt that I would be ok with smoking one hit of 5-6mg that was dosed out in a water pipe. This session was after a break of around 30 minutes and was much gentler even though I felt the sensation of getting launched and then ever so quickly coming back with tears of gratitude coming through. I have little memory of where I went in this second session yet did not feel any related panic or terror I felt in the insufflation process.

I would love to hear more about others experiences and am definitely open to share more of my experience here. I have been left feeling confused yet coming back to curiosity now as I resettle into my day to day. I am also able to admit that I had a lot going on in my personal life, being with a complete set of strangers, and being in a big city and its collective energy definitely played into this. I have also been very cognizant of the sheer lack of integration process. I had to call the person who offered the session to share and query what had happened as I felt I had been given too much. It took me a few days to find the words to share that allowed me to see and feel what was and is my own experience.

Thanks for any helpful thoughts and/or direction as I am still very open to doing more of this medicine, building up over time.

Offline Rising Spirit

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Re: Open to any help here
« Reply #1 on: January 06, 2022, 11:29:39 AM »
I recently had my first sessions with 5 and am happy to have found this Forum to bounce some thoughts and feelings around here.
I had waited 3 years to do this medicine and I am now sure as to why I waited. I did 2 rounds of insufflation of 5mg then 15 minutes later, 7.5mg. Right after insufflating the 7.5 I totally blanked out and then caught myself catapulted at light speed towards complete unknown. My authentic self and its voice found me(no idea how long this took) and told me I had to come back or I would be lost in this void forever. There was no support even though I was with a group of 8 others and when needing help they were busy with another participant as there were only 2 people supporting.

Amazing.  This is a classic description of accelerating through the emptiness of the undifferentiated, vortexial fulcrum of the nondual void.  It's a rather self-obliterating experience.  As I've experienced it, the very fabric of oneself dissolves within the rushing force propelling the soul of the witness deeper and still deeper into the indivisibility of the bright void.  Some folks experience a tunnel, others not.  I always feel as if a black hole is sucking me through the membrane of the dualistic nature of our material paradigm.  Whoever I am without my body and mind is, dissipates into a blinding pulsation of insubstantial effulgence.  In such a state...  what remains of one's subjectivity is totally ill-equipped to grok the limitlessness of the primary Source of all of being and non-being.  Yet, like the old saying goes, "There is light at the end of the tunnel." 


Quote
As I started to come back, yet still very deep in the medicine, I was completely disregulated and sweating profusely. I literally sweated out my clothes and within an hour they were dry again. I fortunately had a litre of water with me and that was consumed during the latter part of this session. I was in and out over approx. 1hr to 1hr 15minutes till I started to settle again. I have no idea where I went other then I truly felt I was going towards insanity. I have done Ayahuasca in a therapeutic setting over the last 10 years and only purged at this level once before in an 8 day Dieta with Rose and Hawthorne with 3 sessions of Aya. I have had difficult sessions yet nothing like this ever came through. Doing 5 was so intense in this way for me!  After this initial experience I wasn't sure I wanted to do any more medicine yet I calmed my system enough to feel into doing it with a small amount and felt that I would be ok with smoking one hit of 5-6mg that was dosed out in a water pipe. This session was after a break of around 30 minutes and was much gentler even though I felt the sensation of getting launched and then ever so quickly coming back with tears of gratitude coming through. I have little memory of where I went in this second session yet did not feel any related panic or terror I felt in the insufflation process.

I cannot possibly say with any modicum of certainty, but you may have snorted more of the medicine than you were capable of handling just yet?  That being said, Terrance McKenna once said, "If you take a psychedelic and you're not afraid that you did too much, you didn't do enough."  With 5-MeO it's common to feel that one has overdosed and/or that one may actually have died physically.  There is def a learning curve to entering into oblivion.  But you are here now, aware of this present moment and we all welcome you home.   _/|\_ _/|\_

Quote
I would love to hear more about others experiences and am definitely open to share more of my experience here. I have been left feeling confused yet coming back to curiosity now as I resettle into my day to day. I am also able to admit that I had a lot going on in my personal life, being with a complete set of strangers, and being in a big city and its collective energy definitely played into this. I have also been very cognizant of the sheer lack of integration process. I had to call the person who offered the session to share and query what had happened as I felt I had been given too much. It took me a few days to find the words to share that allowed me to see and feel what was and is my own experience.

Thanks for any helpful thoughts and/or direction as I am still very open to doing more of this medicine, building up over time.

While set and setting are key for any ceremony, this sacrement has the tendency to wholly erase the subjectivity of the intrepid pilgrim upon the sacred journey, albeit it temporary.  The molecule will consistently strip one of everything one dreams reality to be.  Even so, we all return and ideally, we've learned something profoundly powerful and life affirming, although the details are largely ineffable.  Thank you for sharing your journeys!  You have crossed threshold and I salute you.  Air hug!   <3 <3

« Last Edit: January 06, 2022, 12:16:58 PM by Rising Spirit »
There is no self to which I cling, for I am one with everything.

Offline HumbleVoyager

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Re: Open to any help here
« Reply #2 on: January 25, 2022, 09:12:29 PM »
To offer a slightly different opinion, sometimes more is not better, and it may be valuable to take some time to allow your system to regulate after an experience like that. Feel free to PM if you would like to discuss further or if you would like resources to support you.

Thanks for sharing your experience and being here with us!

Offline Rising Spirit

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Re: Open to any help here
« Reply #3 on: February 06, 2022, 07:46:03 PM »
To offer a slightly different opinion, sometimes more is not better, and it may be valuable to take some time to allow your system to regulate after an experience like that. Feel free to PM if you would like to discuss further or if you would like resources to support you.

Thanks for sharing your experience and being here with us!

Quote from: Terrance McKenna
If you take a psychedelic and you're not afraid that you did too much, you didn't do enough."

Probably I ought not to have posted this quote?  And agreed, slightly different opinions but I too, share the belief that "less is more"...  regardless of the entheogen.  Obviously Terrance was referring to less powerful medicines, like LSD-25, mescaline, psilocybin mushrooms or N,n-DMT.  That said, overloading the system can often be both hazardous and most terrifying!  And this wise axiom of cautionary dosage is even more urgent with 5-MeO-DMT, as too much medicine easily overloads the traveler's conscious-awareness and within the full throttle of a whiteout experience, much of the teaching and deep healing are obscured by the sheer intensity of the 5 ceremony. 


Finding proper equilibrium and fundamental buoyancy is key for integration and essentially, translating the gist of the 5 Sacrament's enlightening message to the innermost soul of the specific person, re-birthed from the sudden expansion, attunement, sheer dissolution, illumination, unification, re-entry and necessary grounding/ integration.  It's def sound advice to seek out resources for balancing the immensity with your return to consensus reality as we collectively, co-dream it into being.  Touching ground incrementally and finding true balance by applying the lessons of the medicine to regular old and oh so ordinary, day-to-day happenstance.  I sincerely do wish you well and encourage you to keep sharing yourself with family & community.  Peace & light.   _/|\_ _/|\_
« Last Edit: February 06, 2022, 08:05:34 PM by Rising Spirit »
There is no self to which I cling, for I am one with everything.