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struggling atheist

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A few medicines have been very helpful to me in that they have brought to light what I consider to be That which is eternal.  God or not 5MeO has shown me enough of an experience that I consider it god like or divine or what inspires religions.  It is the Clear Light.  Whether or not I am experiencing me as the creator in those moments really doesn't matter to me any more.  The experience renewed my faith in Life.  Life then continues as it does.

That said,  I have a group of friends who meet regularly for integration work and support.  We just share with each other like a group of folks in a 12 step meeting would.  The reality is that, as you have experienced, the "medicine" gives us an experience of bliss and then comes the harder work of letting go of the "old ideas" our minds want to hang on to.  I find the philosophies of non duality most helpful to me.  I like a particular popular Yogi called Sadhguru. 
I've found Kundalini very helpful with the use of 5MeO.
Thanks for being vulnerable and honest.  Tough stuff you are going through.  You aren't alone.  <3 Hang in there.

I think Spinoza has some interesting ideas about God without requiring more than an interpretation of the physical world. I was raised quite religious, and my rejection of it seems to have left a void. I haven't had to truly suspend disbelief to consider his ideas, so I thought I might mention it. Good luck.


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