Hi JO_neness,
Firstly, I want to acknowledge the difficulties you are facing as very palpable and real as I have a very close loved one that suffered from LSD induced De-Personalisation and De-Realisation (and ended up needing pharmaceutical anti-depressants, in order to re-align other life-factors that were not conducive to optimal health) and it took us a little while to even discover that these syndromes/symptoms existed and the diagnosis helped - (up to a point, at which reading too much about a condition can exacerbate its effects). Too often these post-psychedelic challenges are dismissed via explanations that are more wooly-new-age woo than practical advice and there is a lot of blame and defensiveness about the precious medicine possibly causing harm as well as a degree of 'blame' when someone does need help...but some of us are are trying to change that and much respect to you for reaching out.
Without meaning to sound judgemental though, 100 x 20mg doses of 5-MeO (rightly considered one of the most powerful psychedelics known) in a year is heavy usage even the most ardent psychonauts among us - but due to the neuro-plastic states that research is showing this compound to have, I don't feel that what you are experiencing is permanent damage. What I think might be happening (with the qualifier here being 'I'm not a doctor'), is in line with what Rising Spirit has explained about an intense emergence or surge of energy left floating inside you that has no where to be 'earthed' and so, the mind we inhabit creates a kind of 'rupture' in which the pscyhe tries to separate from the intensity of the feelings... similar to how trauma works as essentially the experience of 'too much, too fast, too soon'. What I mean by neuro-plasticity is that you are in state of being in which the laying down of new patterns or ways of being is highly primed -for example lack of sleep perpetuating itself. So essentially you will go through a period of re-adjustment in which you will need to be a little strict with yourself, but by developing some very healthy lifestyle choices you will come back to the centre of your being stronger and more resilient.
I saw in another post of yours that someone had responded with a series of grounding techniques and modalities- which is essentially the best advice I have seen to work in these situations...do everything you can do come back to 'the body' (the mind and spirit will follow)- it is your vehicle so it needs maintenance (healthy food, rest, exercise, sleep, etc). The sleeplessness however, sounds like the hardest part to deal with and I would say if medication helps then use it for a little while to get some respite but know that these things are band-aids and will not address root causes only symptoms, so what you do while you have the respite is critical. From the experience with my family member it was a also a case of adjusting to what you are feeling as 'new normal' ..in other words, like the experience itself, acceptance of whatever arises is key and resistance will increase the tension. Finding a psychedelic-friendly integration counsellor will also help enormously as this experience is so very hard to get others to relate too, so someone who understands the powerful forces at work and how to deal with their effects will benefit heaps just in being able to talk face to face (or Skype at least) with someone who understands what is happening to you, has seen it happen before and knows the way forward.
A very pertinent article came out a few days ago from the good folks at Kahpi and while it is written in the context of ayahuasca, is relevant to all psychedelics and seems like it might be helpful:
https://kahpi.net/after-ayahuasca-trauma-integration/?fbclid=IwAR0rflXuN84HFfaMD5C07HPxUFrg5z6qbmNC1NwvuAIVIiz8FC5XtctFKawAlso if you are not already a member of the 'Toad & 5-MeO Forum & Support' group on Facebook, do sign up- as there are almost 7000 people there, many with a great deal of experience, expertise and wisdom in post 5-MeO integration and aftercare as well as support for challenging psychedelic experiences. There is also a list of resources in the files section which has some great integration resources;
https://www.facebook.com/groups/813691418706935/Take great care and be kind to yourself (and I must also say thank you for inspiring me to become active again on this forum as I have been absent for a while),
deepest regards and sincere blessings,
Flux
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