A day of Bufo, mushrooms & floatation

[Bancopuma]

An opportunity presented itself to partake of Bufo alvarius toad secretion, as we know, a rich source of 5-MeO-DMT, and I decided I wanted to experience this. This would be under the supervision of Mexican doctor with a great deal of experience administering toad secretion/5-MeO. Just the once, and for a full release dose, I was happy to experience this under the supervision of a doctor and someone with a great deal of experience in overseeing sessions.

So, my session...I found myself wandering through an industrial part of northeast London. I was excited and a little nervous. I had come down on the train to London the night before, and had been reading James Oroc’s fascinating book Tryptamine Palace on the way down. In it, Oroc states that 5-MeO taken before another psychedelic can dramatically boost its effects...he also stated that it worked the other way around, with being on a psychedelic boosting the power of 5-MeO. Based on this, I decided to ingest a 10 microgram LSD blotter (these having been used for microdosing purposes) and two small dried Psilocybe cyanescens mushrooms. I’m not sure 5-MeO needs any augmentation in terms of power, but I didn’t want to miss out on the opportunity of going deep!

I finally found two barge boats, on which people had gathered in preparation for the session. A small friendly group was in there, including the host and a good friend, and I felt comfortable on arrival. The other barge next to this one had been kitted out and made cosy for the sessions, which were conducted in a one-on-one context on a bunk in there. The session provider briefed us on how to smoke the vapour correctly…by breathing out, and then inhaling the fumes gently from the glass lollipop pipe until he said, then putting a hand over one’s mouth, and counting to 10 while lying down.

Everyone who went before me and came out seemed to be in a state of awe, with a sparkle in their eyes, one person had been in tears. My friend went before me, and she came out with a very glowing testimonial, an experience of pure love. She is an atheist and a highly rational person, but she said that experience had challenged her views to some degree...not that she was now a believer or anything...but the experience had certainly been very deep, moving and profound.

It was my turn, so I hopped on over to the other boat. I started to feel more nervous, which reached a crescendo with my heart racing before I smoked the vapour. The dosage was 100mg of dried Bufo secretion, roughly equivalent to 15mg of 5-MeO-DMT (give or take a few milligrams). The session provider and his assistant, a lovely girl, both made sure I was comfortable and we held hands and did a prayer before I smoked. Then the flame of a torch lighter was applied to the pipe for a few seconds, and I started to inhale. I made sure to do it slowly, being careful not to waste any vapour. When I was done inhaling, I placed my hands over my mouth as instructed, lay down in the bunk, and started to count to 10. I’m not sure what number I made it too, but I certainly didn’t make 10. There was a dramatic break or shift in my awareness, and I lost all contact with the barge, with London, with my body and this reality...a total OBE. My entire being was enveloped in this vast realm of bright white/golden light fractals, which I was flying through. I know 5-MeO isn’t considered very visual compared to DMT, and certainly DMT is more visually complex, but this was still a dramatically visionary experience. My sense of individual self, of my “Isness” was obliterated, but some kind of awareness remained, experiencing flying through this realm of light fractals in a state of pure oneness. I find the 5-MeO experience incredibly hard to describe in words. The experience is, or occurs in, a state so far beyond the realm of words, that it is really hard to communicate the state or its profundity in any tangible way. The state of consciousness I experienced felt very deep, profound and quite sacred. Sacred is not a word I’m prone to use, and I appreciate how subjective it is, but this experience felt profound in a way I simply cannot describe in words. I have dabbled previously with 5-MeO, but those experiences could not hold up the faintest candle to this experience, in terms of its depth and power. There was a bit of fear for some time, due to the sheer raw power of the experience. I would consider this more powerful than my DMT breakthrough experience…in the latter, there was still a sense of I experiencing and observing, even if I had lost contact with my body and environment...on the 5-MeO, even the act of observing had been lost in the mix.

I really can’t say how long the experience lasted…linear time does not apply to that space. But it seemed like a decent amount of time. When I started to come back, I finally opened my eyes and looked at the skylight of the barge, and saw a tiny fly buzzing around up there, I knew I was back. I felt supremely relaxed once I became aware of my body again, and the post experience afterglow state was very warm and comforting. I was racked by full-body, teeth-chattering body tremors on re-entry. I smiled, sat up and caught the eyes of the session provider and his assistant and laughed, they smiled and nodded, and then I promptly burst into tears briefly. It is not like me to cry in the midst of or following psychedelic experiences, and I can’t really explain why I did on this occasion, only that I was overwhelmed with the power, profundity and beauty of what I had just experienced. The guys hugged me, and I hugged them both back, and then joined the collective of people in the barge next door, still very awed about what I had just been through. Shortly after I left with my friend and went and had some nice food and chats. It was nice to reflect on the experience with a friend, even though we both really struggled to describe (let alone explain) what we had both just been through.

Later that night, I linked up with some friends to have a psychedelic session, and two hour long sessions in a floatation tank (my first time floating). We all dosed with a capsule of 4-AcO-DMT, and some of us nibbled a few Psilocybe cyanescens mushrooms on the side. The trip setting was a little strange, in terms of people vibes. One guy there was clearly there to get high on whatever was to hand, and chat and laugh...he had a really restless energy. Another guy was also restless, but going through some deep stuff. One of the other guys was on good form and wanting to chat, but getting distracted by these other two restless characters. My other friend in hindsight regrets taking mushrooms/4-AcO in that environment, he has been enjoying solo trips with mushrooms I have provided him with, for the purposes of therapy, and he feels he missed out on a therapy session by consuming the mushrooms in this setting. I had thought the setting would be much more calm and sedate then it turned out to be, I’d assumed we’d all be floating. I made the most of the opportunity, and had two hour long float sessions. I had one while coming up on my 4-AcO/mushroom mix. I took me around half the float session to really get comfortable, and when I had started to get comfortable, I had started to come up, with the darkness of the tank getting ever brighter with lights and colours, and the visionary spaces starting to open up. By the time I got out, I was feeling very calm and zen, and this affected the rest of my trip. While other peeps seemed quite restless, I felt very calm and serene, I was happy to sit down with legs crossed and eyes closed, chatting occasionally, more so as the night wore on, but happy to pay attention to what was unfolding in my inner space. One of the guys commented that I was a rock...I think partly I was in in a good space due to floating, but partly also due to the profound difference in experiential magnitude between a release dose of 5-MeO and the 4-AcO/mushrooms…the latter just felt so easy going and light in comparison!

It was really interesting, but as the night wore on, I noticed that I was increasingly accessing the state of light I experienced earlier in the day on the 5-MeO, and my trip seemed to be deepening at the same time, when otherwise I would have been expecting to be coming down! I had another float session, and got more out of this one…I was in the zone from the outset, and it was nice being able to pay attention to my inner state without the distractions of other people. I really enjoyed the experience of floating. When I stretched out I could look behind myself, and it felt a lot like how I imagine being weightless in space must feel like. I felt refreshed and serene on getting out. I would definitely be intrigued to combine floatation with psychedelic experiences in the future, and would be interested in longer float sessions too.

Finally, around 6 in the morning following a day of deep psychedelic consciousness exploration, it was finally bed time, and as I drop off to sleep on my friends couch, several times I find myself powerfully launching into the 5-MeO state!! At the time, this was fleetingly scary, as I felt my awareness dramatically shifting quite suddenly, although it was primarily really interesting, it never lasted long (seemed to occur on the boundary of waking and sleeping) but I have never experienced anything this vivid before in terms of psychedelic after effects! I have certainly experienced DMT and 5-MeO inspired dreams after having used both, but I’ve not had such vivid experiences of re-entering the 5-MeO state in partial waking consciousness, so long after the event.

I’ve heard that there can be 5-MeO reactivations for some time after one’s initial experience, such as during meditation, following breathwork or when dreaming, and also that one can gain access to the 5-MeO state when using other psychedelics, which after my experiences doesn’t come as much of a surprise.

I would definitely consider this experience with 5-MeO as one of my all-time peak life experiences (but also the hardest for me to explain), up there with my DMT breakthrough, my first time with iboga, and a few others. I would rate this experience as my most powerful. The release dose of experience of 5-MeO...going by my reading on these things...seemed to have more in common with a near death experience than a traditional psychedelic experience in some respects, and its power should in no way be underestimated...without a doubt this is some heavy duty, deep end stuff!! It should not be entered into lightly and it is certainly not a recreational substance at these dosages. I do however feel very lucky to have experienced this...it’s truly wondrous and amazing what a human being can experience.

[Bancopuma]

Following this experience, I had a second encounter with a release dose of Bufo secretion with the same session provider, in the same setting at a later time more recently. This time, I entered into the experience sober, and I seemed to recall more of the experience compared to my first time. I recall one quite amazing but also quite freaky event, in which events and experiences and feelings associated with my life started to flash past my mind's eye at incredible speed. And not in a linear way, but everything seemed to happening all at once, in one extended moment, beyond time. This was experienced as intensely disturbing when it was happening, as brief as it was (although being beyond time...at the time...it lasted long enough!). I guess this is where I should have surrendered and relaxed more into the experience, it was my first time experiencing something as bizarre and mind warping as this and I guess my ego found it threatening. I hope when I come to explore the 5-MeO realms again, I will be able to relax, breathe and surrender to the experience more, as while this was pretty disturbing, it was also quite amazing, and I feel I may have been close to some kind of breakthrough or transcendence. This this state sound familiar to any other voyagers?

[Xzen]

I recall one quite amazing but also quite freaky event, in which events and experiences and feelings associated with my life started to flash past my mind's eye at incredible speed. And not in a linear way, but everything seemed to happening all at once, in one extended moment, beyond time. .. I hope when I come to explore the 5-MeO realms again, I will be able to relax, breathe and surrender to the experience more, as while this was pretty disturbing, it was also quite amazing, and I feel I may have been close to some kind of breakthrough or transcendence. This this state sound familiar to any other voyagers?

I am familiar with 'cleansings' that are akin to what you describe. These kinds of experiences seem to encourage alignment with a 'unified field' where all is timeless & potentially, harmonious.


Thanks for your sharing, Bancopuma. You've inspired me to keep my radar open to an opportunity with a float tank.

[Bancopuma]

Hey Xzen,

Thanks for chiming in here. Interesting the experience I described may have been some kind of cleansing alignment experience...this was quite a turbulent part of the experience, but in retrospect it seems like I could have been on the edge of experiencing some deeper form of transcendence.

And yes I definitely recommend the float tank experience. I have a feeling that post toad/5-MeO, when floating and using meditative and breathwork techniques, it could be a potentially interesting way of going about reactivating the state.

I had some really interesting 5-MeO-DMT related experiences over the weekend (without taking it). Earlier in the year, I had two release dose Bufo experiences with Dr Gerry, and I had a smaller vaped 5-MeO freebase experience quite recently that was less strong than my toad experiences but still spectacular. A few nights ago, I had a powerful and intense 5-MeO reactivation during the night, my most powerful yet. It was very much akin to being back in the experience for real, it was very powerful, if brief. I was staying in a cottage for the weekend in the stunning Scottish countryside with two good friends for a weekend of walking. I had smoked a little cannabis with them before retiring and hadn't slept much the night before, which may have played a part in my reactivation, as my mind was highly active on going to sleep.

The next day, we all ate a good dose of dried Psilocybe cyanescens mushrooms (from the same batch I had microdosed with on the day of my first release dose Bufo experience). I usually vibe very well with mushrooms, and these particular mushrooms I've found to be consistently very clean and serene from past experiences with them. The coming up period was unusually anxiety ridden, and despite being out in stunning nature with two of my best friends, I was introspective and having a turbulent time, mentally. A big part of this experience was my forced mental focus on my recent Bufo and 5-MeO experiences...being in the bemushroomed state allowed me to much better experientially conceptualise actually being in the 5-MeO state, in a way that is simply not possible when sober. And my mind was being bombarded with the power and profundity of my past experiences, but in retrospect it seems that some much needed integration was occurring.

I now, in reflection, sincerely believe I experienced absolute pure, boundless infinity/eternity during my experiences (for whatever reason I can recall more of my second Bufo experience), and I will hold this view for the rest of my days. From my perspective, when the 5-MeO annihilated my ego, I was no longer aware of myself as a finite individual...in fact this seemed like an illusion. That in fact I'm an infinite being, and rather than being an individual, it's more that I'm an individual facet of something much, much greater than me. If you think about it, 13.7 billion years ago, the Big Bang occurred, and the physical universe and all its matter and energy and physical laws came into existence. We humans are special in that we are able in some way to comprehend our place in the universe..."we are star stuff...a way for the universe to know itself" to quote the great Carl Sagan. But of course we are very much part of that universe, there is no separation. All the large atoms in our bodies were forged in the cores of long dead stars. Our bodies run on energy originally derived from plants that can convert star light energy into matter we can consume. So on some level, our egos, our perception of being an individual being, separate from everything else, is a very sophisticated and elaborate illusion concocted by our brains. It makes great evolutionary sense of course, for us to feel we are separate entities, so we are able to live our lives and pass on our genes. So our egos are essential for our survival. But it is worth bearing in mind, that sense of us being separate individuals is an illusion. These breakthrough 5-MeO-DMT experiences very powerfully took down my ego. And when this occurred, I lost awareness of linear time, of being finite, and being an individual being, instead feeling a very powerful state of oneness, of unity with the infinite and eternal All That Is. This was a very cosmic experience, far beyond me as a human. But this force of infinity/eternity I very deeply encountered...felt like it could be part of the same force that ignited this universe/the multiverse in the first place, some kind of ultimate universal self organising fractal blueprint or equation of creation of which I/everyone/everything is a part of. It really is all one! I know that is one heck of a claim to make! But this was a very humbling and also empowering experience. In other words, experiencing this force directly, really felt like experiencing what some may term as God/Source/Tao/Brahman/Universal Consciousness.

Of all the many psychedelic and altered state experiences I've ever had in my life, of which there has been many, no experience has come remotely anywhere near as close as affecting me as deeply as this. I never ever expected to be able to experience something so incredible and so utterly mysterious in my life, and I believe I now know what a fair chunk of the mystics, yogis and near death experiencers were/are on about. "Entheogen" is not a term I’ve ever used, it never seemed really appropriate and so I never felt comfortable using it. In my experience though, out of all the psychedelics, 5-MeO-DMT seems truly worthy of such a label. Of all the various states of consciousness I’ve experienced over my lifetime, this is one I would have no issues referring to as intrinsically sacred. Without experiencing this directly myself, I simply would NOT consider such an experience to be remotely possible for a human being to experience by ingesting a chemical, or through any means for that matter. If there is a more reliable way of experiencing death in some measure before one's time, I'd like to know of it. This stuff has a power that dwarfs that of any other psychedelics, IMO. I don’t say this stuff lightly either. I’m a scientist and someone who likes to think they are rational and grounded person.

So yeah, the TL:DR version is that I'm truly awed and humbled, and goes to show 5-MeO keeps working on you long after your last session.

Big love to All! 

[HumbleVoyager]

Thank you for sharing all of these experiences here Bancopuma.

Incredible to hear how the mushrooms brought back the 5meo space. I think perhaps the most important thing for the larger community of the world in all this is what this type of realization "means" for our daily life as humans and our interactions with one another.

I'd be interested in hearing what you think about that based on your experience with the force that unifies everything.

What a beautiful realization to know that we are all truly in this together as One.

Thank you.