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Dear Rising Spirit - Much appreciate the instructions regarding quotes



Please forgive my assumption, brother.  But gender is merely a concept we collectively dream up, anyway, as all energy and inertia stem from one indivisible state of existential being, one without the dualistic limitations of age, gender, race or even  species.  There is such a lovely symbiosis between everything within this Sacred Web of Life.


No problem at all brother - I understand. Gender may be a collectively dreamt up concept, but those same dualistic limitations of age, gender, race & species are still part of the fabric of this collective dream & we need the language surrounding the differentiations to enable us to communicate about them. If we were constantly stripped back, with our awareness returned to the purity of that indivisible non-dual state of being, then that is what we would be, and I'm enjoying this dualistic dream I'm living in, with all its love, laughter, pain, joy, hurt, the entire smorgasbord of experience that has arisen on my particular journey, for all its struggle and its wonderfulness, and without the dualist experience, I wouldn't be aware of any of that, and with that awareness comes the language surrounding it, which is constantly evolving and changing as well

All souls shine with the same light, to varying degrees perhaps, but it's still the very same Divine effulgence refracting from one point to another, one facet touching the next upon the jewel of consciousness.



What a great image - beautifully poetic - may this crazy diamond shine on



when the smaller, surface self is quieted or perhaps a better description, dissolved.  The greater and truest self now awakens to it's universal interconnection...  reaching fullest bloom and higher resonance, through the direct immersion into the  kaleidoscopic flowering of the Infinite Grid.



Dissolved, yes. What an experience that is to be within the dissolving of self & then the total embodiment of that greater conciousness. In ceremony with 120mg of Toad Medicine, as the self was in full awareness of the dissolution of itself, I recall feeling every emotion I've every felt within these 36 years in this body, in this lifetime, all at once. The intensity of that was incredibly overwhelming for me to be honest, as if I had been hurled with the greatest force I'd ever experienced into a tunnel of extremely bright fractal light that cascaded through every pore of my being. I felt every emotion that I had ever felt in this lifetime all at once; joy, terror, wonder, sadness, awe, absolute fear, true love - it felt like I had fallen into a pocket that contained the totality of my human experience and it was so much to experience all at once that the fabric of that pocket, of my very essence, expanded and expanded until it shattered into an infinite number of pieces, and 'I' dissolved into 'all', into the true essence of the divine, behind the self, behind these naratives that make up the story of me - as you put it "direct immersion into the  kaleidoscopic flowering of the Infinite Grid". The act of writing this, of touching this experience once more fills me with gratitude for being here now, for getting to experience that, but also for getting to reform that self as I slowly returned some 'time' later, and was blessed with the opportunity to do things better, to work to embody what truth I understand and seek to gain more of an understanding of that. I digress...You description of the 'divine kaleidoscopic flowering of the Infinite Grid' is interesting. Not to say that this description doesn't resonate on some level, but why 'Grid' - I'm fascinated in the language we use to describe, well, God consciousness, the infinite energy behind all that is, the oneness...or as Stan Grof puts it in his book 'History of LSD therapy', "cosmic unity, unio mystica, mysterium tremendum, cosmic consciousness, union with God, Atman-Brahman union, Samadhi, satori, moksha, or the harmony of the spheres".



Are these guides accessible without your imbibing of Sacred Medicines or is the exchange exclusively connected to journeying with entheogens?  In my experiences, medicine entities, spiritual masters and angelic beings, are encountered when voyaging within the psychedelic states leading into alternate perceptual breakthroughs...Now, the "medicine entities" are only encountered with the aid of the Sacred Medicines, while spiritual masters and angelic beings can be found through intense, sober spiritual practices.  In both cases, however, what is of vital importance is accessing higher brainwave states, shifting attention towards vortices of oscillating energy fields, themselves spiralling forevermore into the very heart of the Absolute (from directly and completely plunging deeply, deeply within oneself).



These guides have certainly been extremely helpful and present during experiences where I have imbibed the medicines, however, when I was first made aware of them it was during 'intense, sober spiritual practices', whilst journeying in a deep meditative state using sound, breath and other techniques to journey within and enter enhances states of consciousness. In fact, these states of consciousness reached without the medicines continue to be some of the most fruitful states regarding teachings, guidance and the integration of the lessons. However, those same teachers, some of whom I would term my 'spirit family' have been present within many medicine experiences, and of course within many medicines experiences other guides, entities, teachers have also appeared, with whom I have not had an ongoing relationship with, but who become part of those experiences to impart various teachings & assist in the navigation of those experiences. It has been a very important, if not the most important part of my process over recent years, to develop relationship with these teachers, and it is my understanding that the connections we can make with them are connections that go way deeper than any connections made in this lifetime, because they stretch back beyond the illusions of this life. I understand that people have very different experiences and belief around such things, and I'm aware that within the psychedelic community surrounding Toad Medicine and 5-Meo-dmt in general there seems to be more of a focus on the non-dual experience, where many people appear to hold beliefs in line with those of Martin Ball, for example, who might say, we are God and any dualistic understanding is essentially illusion and projection. That isn't personally my truth. I've certainly had a number of non-dual experiences where I've fully merged with the transcendent other and known the truth that we are god, or 'aspects' of god consciousness, but on my journey, it is the case that it is both, in different moments. Yes, we are aspects of god consciousness and make up the interwoven energetic form that is the divine, yet I have had countless experiences within strong enhanced states of consciousness brought on with and without the medicines, where other beings that are outside of myself, that are not my 'higher self', but are a consciousness of their own right, which appears far more aware than myself. They connect with me to impart teachings and help me through my journey. I am told I have had relationships with these spirit teachers previously but have simply forgotten that. This does resonate as I feel we are on a journey of remembering - it is as though we enter this life and it is necessary for us to forget so much of what we know so we can then experience the lessons we need to in this life and go through our process, and along the way on this journey of remembering, we do exactly that, we begin to piece the truth back together, to varying degrees. 


We can all concur about the difficulty of describing the peak of such elevated, nondual experiences but immediately prior to and just following the full immersion (what I call, "the eclipsing"), there is enough distinction betwixt subjective and objective states of cognition to cull some jewels in perception



The eclipsing - I like that. Yes, it is in those periods that we can certainly bring back some jewels.



In ancient cultures and those indigenous native peoples still today using psychedelics and ritual trance states to augment higher conscious-awareness, there exists a clearly defined pathway for the sacred methodology of personal transformation and self-transcendence.

I feel it's a great shame that many cultures are removed from and don't have an existing clearly defined pathway for this. As a young man, I grew up in the U.K and could have really benefitted from such a pathway alongside the guidance from elders who had gone through similar experiences. Instead, for many years I struggled a lot to process my trauma and the wounds I carried. It would have been wonderful to have had a pathway shown to me for how to work with these medicines, instead of piecing it together along the way. That is not to take away from my own experience for the challenges and difficulties lead to lessons and understanding that were necessary, but to have had elders in human form who could have shown guidance would have been greatly appreciated.

Please share a tad more about the specifics of your sadhana and the techniques followed to release such a full bloom in heightened cognitive functioning.  Do you find these sound frequencies to exist independently, within the deeper self or does the practice of the soundscapes sung, facilitate the union of the seeker and That which is sought?

I had actually written quite a bit more here about sound, but unfortunately, in trying to preview this response, I was logged out & ended up losing half of this response, so I will endeavour to rewrite a response to your questions soon. I did want to also say thank you for your introduction to 'Surat Shabd Yoga' – I hadn't heard about that before and I'm always fascinated to learn about any spiritual practice e that incorporates the use of sound. I briefly looked into this and it's certainly an area I would like to explore further.
Thank you again for your openness an willingness to share 

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Dear Rising Spirit - Thank you for your message & kind words (On a seperate note, how did you make specific quotes from sections of my post - I wanted to quote from your post but could only see how to quote the entire post, not individual parts of it)?
"Please elucidate further, dear sister.  As a 5-MeO virgin, I am eager to know more of your perceptual experience with The God Molecule." I imagine that writing about my husband has given the perception that I am female, when in fact I am male, as is my husband. An easy mistake to make  I definitely want to write a full post about that initial toad medicine experience as it was certainly a major shift for me - it was extremely powerful full immersion into the non-dual awakening, so I look forward to sharing more about that, and I really relate to a lot of what Ive read on here from others about there experiences with the toad. 'Sacred medicines' does seem the appropriate terminology, alongside 'ancient technologies', 'enthoegens' e.t.cThe medicines allow us to enter enhanced states of conciousness that are the doorways to the most sacred of experiences, the mystical state, the oneness, nirvana - there are many words for those states but underlying all the names, they embody the sacred... and the tools that can enable us to heal and to access those realms within are undoubtedly medicines, if only the wider society would come to understand the power of these healing agents, these medicines, then with that greater understanding we could speed up the work to heal our planet & our collective conciousness & more people could access and be able to benefit from the vast healing potential of the medicines, without being turned away by misunderstanding generated from predujice and a lack of understanding.
"I am fascinated to know which tradition you have learned from, in regards to breathwork and sound." I don't personally identify with any particular tradition, although I have trained as a sound healer under various teachers & have done training in holotropic breathwork, alongside studying yoga & meditation for many years. My husband is a yoga teacher & together we co-facilitate yoga & sound healing events, with a psychedelic approach & often for the psychedelic community, hugely inspred by our work with the medicines. Although it's amazing to come through a tradition and have the shared wisdom passed down from those who came before us, my greatest resource for learning and training are the spirit guides, teachers, ancestors & plant spirits that I have developed relationships with through journeying within during what can be labelled as shamanic work, with and without the medicines. I think these medicines certainly humble us when we realise how little we really know & how complex & incredible the intricacies are within the divine conciousness within all that is. Regarding my use of sound, I've learnt a lot of from spirit about how to use sound, and the greatest skill I've found is in trying to get as much of my own ego out of the way to allow those energies to come through to do the work they can do, to allow myself to be a vessel for that. We all have the oppurtunity to open to those connections and teachings, if we can allow ourselves to open to those experiences, and to develop those relationships when they arise. For all the books and talks and words I may have read, it amounts to not a lot when compared to the teachings available when we seek guidance within...from my perspective anyhow.
"Please share with us, if you are able to in words, something of these inner sounds. Is there a carrier wave tone or deep rumbling AUM vibration in your spirit flights with 5-MeO?  Much of my practice in deep meditation is centered on the internal frequencies of sound and the Medicines greatly heighten this vacuum-like, inner focus." It is certainly my experience that the sound of OM resonates within that space beneath all other sounds, although I find that with sound being such an amazing tools for releasing and shifting energy, and for moving through these experiences, a whole range of sounds become key within the medicine space. It often feels as though a frequecy needs to be sounded and reached to allow certainly energetic shifts to occur and it's a communal effort between the energies present to hit those frequencies, to allow them to come through, almost as if the technique of moving through issues, energetically or otherwise, in those realms, revolves around sound and the ability to use sound & therefore energy, to process and release the energy surrounding emotional blocks or issues - sound as a tool for reaching deeper within that divine conciousness and shifting the energy within that space, to purge, to release, to create - intrinsic to all within the space. In ego-death experiences, it has felt like when all else is stripped back, what I'm left with, the thread that holds the energy within my conciousness together, is sound, and there is great power and wisdom in the journey to learn how to use sound to assist the process within that state.
Thanks again for your response - good to share and listen. Much love...Infinite Spirit 

Thanks for your replies. Yes gurudedicationananda, I do think that working with these medicines can assist our process of 'spiritual evolution and growth, development, and healing processes'. I definitely feel like these amazing tools can open the doors to enhances states of conciousness where we have the oppurtunity to release the energy surrounding old traumas, and can be gifted a deeper understanding about the nature of reality, both of which involve spiritual growth and healing. Out of the different methods to ingest the medicines, I have found that the most productive manner is using a glass sherlock VGV vapor genie (though I imagine other similar pipes would work well too) and inhaling the material in one long deep breath. Thankfully with 5-Meo-dmt in its synthetic form, there is a lot less smoke to inhale than when smoking toad medicine or N,N-dmt, so it's pretty easy to get all the vaporized material in one breath.

Thanks for your responses - much appreciated 

  This is a description of a recent 5-MeO-DMT experience. I really appreciate the opportunity to share my experiences with this incredible medicine & hearing from others feels like a wonderful way to connect, learn & remember. Putting what so often feels ineffable into words is a challenge, but it's worthwhile to try, whilst recognising that any attempt at describing the experience of this incredible teacher is destined to fall short.
This dose was 8 mg of synthetic 5-MeO-DMT. I have previously done '5' in the form of 120 mg of toad medicine yet I had never tried the synthetic version before. I had been assured of & trusted in the strength and purity of the material and was interested to compare the experience to my experience with the toad. The setting was a safe appropriate environment, specifically created to be a worthy container for ceremonies with strong entheogens. My sitter was my husband, with whom I've shared many ceremonies & whose ability to hold space whatever may arise, I trust implicitly.
I felt anticipation and certainly a degree of fear beforehand. Despite having worked with the medicines for many years, with considerable experience with N,N-DMT, my previous session with toad medicine had been one of, if not the, most intense enhanced state of consciousness that I had ever experienced. It had been so earth shatteringly powerful, a complete ego-death, that it had taken me nearly 6 months to integrate it enough to feel ready to return to that space.
I set my intention, meditated, prayed, and did some techniques with the breath & voice which I find beneficial before ceremony. We were using a glass GVG Sherlock vaporizer to smoke the material. I held the pipe, sparked the torch lighter and inhaled one long slow breath, until there was no more smoke. I recall for a brief moment thinking 'oh, I'm not sure this is going to be that strong', as I lay back. Immediately, an intense overwhelming rush of energy flowed through my body forcing me to sit bolt upright. I was catapulted into a fractal landscape comprising of incredibly fast moving bands of bright light that I was surging through. The speed & intensity was overwhelming as 'I' collapsed into the experience, with no choice but to let go with each passing moment...trust, be open & let go, let go, let go. It felt as though an energy had re-awoken deep within and was now bursting out through every pore of my body, splitting 'me' into a billion tiny fragments. The narratives of 'me', as an identity, were being forced through the eye of an entheogenic needle until what remained was an embodiment of the energetic aspect of god consciousness within us all. Let go of the patterns, habits, stories that my ego has constructed, let go of fear, let go of all that isn't awareness of the divine beings that we are. And in that awareness of the need to let go, comes an awareness of the work that is needed, now. An awareness that this is an opportunity for deep healing and release. 'I' could be in the flow of this divine energy through the use of movement & sound. To let go, meant allowing that energy to do as it needed with no restriction, to allow the frequencies to come through this voice, to allow this body to facilitate the shifts through specific movement, to release energetic blocks through sound. The combination of various patterns of breathing, frequencies & movement created a river that allowed a torrent of energy to flow through in the way it had to. The sounds came from deep within & from beyond, songs that needed to come through, deep base chants, higher frequencies, overtones, breath work patterns in sync with mudras created with the hands and arms. Waves of sound rolled through my human form, and through the letting go into that sound, the journey went deeper and deeper. And then the purge came. Rocking onto my knees, I fell forwards at my husbands feet, my throat opened and I began to wretch; spitting, snot running from my nose, tears streaming down my face, saliva dripping from my mouth...and it felt incredible. To surrender & purge what needed to be released. I felt overwhelmed by a sense of deep gratitude - gratitude for the work, for this path, for the healing that it has enabled, for the guidance offered, for sound & other tools that can facilitate the navigation of these states of consciousness. Unlike various ayahuasca or psilocybin experiences where there are often narratives and stories surrounding the purging: an awareness of what had caused specific blocks or trauma, within this healing experience there was no narrative, there was no room for stories about my past, there was only an energy that was moving & shifting & shedding parts of itself to make room for growth. My 'story' didn't matter. The energy that embodies this human form in this moment had found its way to the heart of the divine where it could do the work needed to heal itself. All these words seem futile as I write them as they are me now trying to record something that is so indescribable. Much of this experience is hard to recall because it felt like 'I' had died & what was left was an energetic process propelled forwards by the medicine, sound & movement. After about 15 minutes, 'I' became more present & felt the need to be free of my clothes. Getting naked, I proceeded to dance, to chant & sing, to laugh with an overwhelming sense of pure unadulterated joy & gratitude for the divinity within us all, for the power & healing potential of these medicines, for the work that had come & that which was yet to come. I then entered a fruitful phase of guidance, connecting to several guides I have been working with for some time. These were fascinating moments during the experience. It felt as though the initial phase has been about cleansing and releasing, and once this main purge & bodywork had been concluded & 'I' began to return, a new phase with different kind of teachings could occur. I am a sound healer & within this ceremonial space I have several large gongs, drums, singing bowls & other instruments. I spent the remainder of the experience playing a large gong & singing, listen to what needed to be heard, singing what needed to be sung, as I slowly grounded back into the space assisted by the sounds.
Wow - this was a deeply healing experience, which I feel so grateful for. I am certain I won't be leaving it so long before diving in again. The potential of this medicine is endless and I am keen to go deeper & open to further teachings. I'm glad I started using the synthetic 5-MeO-DMT at this dose, but I also look forward to higher doses. Regarding comparisons between the synthetic 5-MeO and the toad medicine, they're obviously unique individual experiences, in different settings, at different points in my journey, however I certainly feel there wasn't any distinguishable difference between both of the medicines ability to transport me into that divine connected state of consciousness. Both felt like incredible doorways to the heart of god consciousness with an intensity & authenticity that I haven't found to the same degree, in any other medicines.
I use various practices on a daily basis such as meditation, breath, body & voice work and I find them all to be amazing tools for integration. In the weeks following this ceremony, I was able to attain much deeper states of meditation and with the use of drums & other instruments have reached unusually deep states of trance for journeying within.
I feel so blessed to be on this journey with an awareness of these incredible medicines, to find the tools I need to heal & to be open to the teachings available. I've been enjoying reading others posts & am looking forward to doing a lot more research here & having the oppurtunity to learn & share. What a wonderful resource & enviroment to connect with people also exploring conciousness through the use of these sacred medicines. With the choice between embodying the energy of love or fear, I certainly pray I can continue to embody love at every turn on this path. Much love to all you explorers of consciousness working with these divine medicines - much love 

Hi there explorers - Very glad to be here . I've been working with entheogens for many years & am hugely grateful for the processes these sacred medicines allow us to engage with. N,N-DMT has lead to profound shifts for me over the years, however, I waited for quite some time before eventually taking the preverbial psychedelic plunge and having my first toad medicine ceremony last year. It was, as most of you no doubt know, like nothing else. What a deeply profound experience that continues to effect the way I live my life each day. Since then, I have experienced synthetic 5-MeO-DMT and found it to be an equally incredible doorway to the heart of the divine conciousness within all that is. So much to learn, so many lessons to integrate, much gratutude to be here to do this work. I look forward to reading & sharing with others, and making connections with those also walking this path on this journey of remembering, as we explore conciousness, opening the doorways within, with these sacred medicines. Thank you for this site & for all that people are contributing to it - it's a blessing to have somewhere to share & connect with others who are exploring the potential of this medicine