I've been a non-believer in anything more than the physical world as long as I could think for myself. I've been going through a severe depression since last year and began trying many different substances that had scientific studies with use for depression. Bufo made a huge shift in my well-being for a week after I tried it (the biggest impact compared to anything else I tried). The afterglow faded, and I've now been using it frequently trying to find happiness within myself. When I'm on it, I feel like I have all the answers with universal love and a sense of enlightenment, but as soon as I come back to awareness of myself I sense an internal struggle, feel nauseous, and hate how my view of the world seemingly limits my happiness. I feel like if I believe in god I will just be fooling myself to be happy. I feel very confused, like I'm uncomfortable being an atheist but also uncomfortable believing in divinity. I wonder if anyone else has had similar struggles or has any advice?