The Neophyte

[Child Horus]

What words can describe such wonderful things??  I present to you an attempted illustration to substantiate my case.  Italic quotes are taken from Astara's Book of Life to help illustrate my journey.






The most renowned of all Mysteries were those of Isis and Osiris in Egypt.  In the Seventh Degree the initiate was taken to the King's Chamber in the Great Pyramid.  There he or she entered an out-of-body experience, during which initiation at the moment of death was realized. 



For over 10 years I have prepared for this moment, not tasting meat, wine, or drugs.  A cleanse of 3 cycles of the purging power of Kambo medicine has prepared the temple for initiation into the Mysteries of Sapo Bufo. 


My guide introduces me to the apparatus through which the sacred secretion will be transmuted from gold to ether and where it will plunge into my airways, enter the blood, cross the holy threshold of my brainstem and unite in holy matrimony with its bride in the king's chamber of my head. 


I take a sample "take" on the mechanism with no medicine that I might feel the long slow and deep drag which I will soon partake. 


I am instructed to perform yogic "breath of fire" to oxygenate my brain and nervous system.  My belly pumps like a bellows excreting the air again and again from my lungs and filling me with vitality. 


The guide prepares a sample dose for initial intake.  He blazes the glass vial screwed into the end of the apparatus with a torch flame. 


I inhale the sacrament.  Just a bit; hold, and release. 


"Do you feel anything?" 


No, just a very subtle pleasantness, barely noticeable if at all.  I think I saw the chimney swirl ever so slightly, but it could be my imagination. 


"Ok, you can handle the medicine.  Now, I am going to launch you."


He torches the glass for a moment, and I begin my long take of the smooth vaporized venom crystals.  About 2/3 way in-breath, I choke ever so slightly, inhale some air, and continue on the apparatus until I am at capacity. 


I hold.


I am sitting upright on the couch, feet on the floor.  I lower the cloth of my tactical desert scarf down over my eyes, and slowly exhale. 








Before full decent of my breath, I rise to the cerebral center of my ancient and primaeval mammalian brain.


Breathless, I sit in the ocean of nothingness.


The phenomenal world encloses in upon itself, and subtle tones of light and sound vibrations emanate in the void. 


I stare into the emptiness of fullness for a timeless eternity. 


This is the time before time with no thought or action.


Is this the yogic state of nirvikalpa Samadhi?






"Don't forget to breath," a distant voice echoes into the void from somewhere without, reminding me of the structure beneath, the temple of my soul.


I inhale deeply, hold, and exhale again and again, staring into the infinity of a selfless state.


Bells and chimes resound and echo from a distant place.  They are the tools used by the guide practitioner to give the voyager some anchor through which to place his transcendent attention.  Beautiful melodies resound the within grounding the experience with celestial vibrations and assisting in whatever terror or astonishment that might capture the ecstatic soul in their whirlwind of experience. 


The intensity is magnificent and never ending.


Strongly and deeply, I inhale and exhale, though barely aware of the mechanism below through which the action takes place. 


Waves and waves of powerful energy engulf my within. 


Is this forever?


Finally, I surrender to the experience.  My body relaxes backwards, reclining against the couch on which I sit. 


Ok, I surrender. 





What's this?  Moments after I relax, there is a slow and gentle decent into cognitive form.


"How are you doing," subtly the voice enters the dissipating void state. 



The bells continue to chime, and my self awareness begins to blissfully unfold as my bodily awareness returns. 


I find my voice as the atoms of my body return to their assigned pathways. 

"I don't know if there are any words to describe what just happened," is the first thing that comes out of my mouth. 


"That was intense; VERY intense...
but familiar... its not like we havn't been here before.  We have been here many times, because this state is always existing."


"Yes," he says, "its just a matter of remembering." 


Cognitive rationality begins to emerge.  I am here just as I was before.  I am in my body, I can see and think, and speak.  Everything is fine... and wonderful!!  I am still high from the experience, but I can operate completely normally.  There is no hangover or dis-association.  Just a wondering awe of attempting to conceptualize the experience.  The entire procedure felt completely natural. 


Now, I the neophyte of Sapo Bufo return to the world to continue my work.




When a pupil was accepted as a candidate in the Mysteries he or she entered as a neophyte, became a disciple... and emerged as an initiate.

[gurudedicationananda]

Cool story I guess, but what is up with all the Masonic art and occult imagery? 
It seems very eerie to me, bordering on Satanic.
I actually heard personally from two different people (one being an Amazonian Shaman) that toad magic is Satanic.
Since the Bufo alvarius toad is composed of 5-meo-dmt, I guess that would make the use of 5-meo-dmt a Satanic rite as well.
Whatever the case, blessings on your journey and stay safe!

[Child Horus]

Hello darknessremover-bliss-dedication.  I am sorry you don't like the drawings.  They were only placed there to help tell a story.  After 20 years of religious study, I'm still not quite sure exactly what is meant by Satan.  He is a rather enigmatic character in the Judeo-Christain as well as Islamic faiths and not easily defined.  Especially since there are various characters who are often confused to be the same character (Lucifer for instance).  Those particular images have always given me a feeling of reference and deep reflection of an ancient time when, for instance, great characters like Pythagoras of Samos would travel to Egypt in search of wisdom and mysteries and traverse forth transformed after years of service to the temple craft.

[Child Horus]

In fact, I didn't even think of the images as "Masonic" but it actually makes me happy to think of them that way.  If you refer to my introduction post (https://forums.5meodmt.org/index.php/topic,50607.0.html), you will see that Freemasonry was actually a staple part of my personal transition from "post-pubescent youth" into adult-hood, and I found many valuable teachings and lessons taking part in the Mystery plays of the fraternity.  Coming from a Christian background as a child, I always felt that there were "mystical" aspects of Christianity which were either not understood, or not taught in the traditional church setting.  In fact, the small congregational church that was chartered in my teenage years in the small village I lived in had a number of Brothers of the Craft who were greatly active in the forming of community events.  The inspiring minister who moved from afar to shepherd the church was also a Brother and a Knight's Templar.  All these older father figures around the town, I remember, had very comforting auras that they carried with them.  They were like the gracious and charitable elders of the quaint rural townships who were always "present" in the local community, and always ready to help a neighbor or a friend.  For whatever reason, I noticed that the men who were Masons (as a general note) seemed to have a greater stake in the "Christian spirit" and silently living a life which portrayed such as spirit as opposed to evangelizing and judging others who did not think like them. 

So I was very curious about the Mystery Schools, and what they meant from a young age, and I found great interest in the esoteric and occult traditions of the east and the west, and underwent a number of study programs which attempted to portray the teachings of the "Mysteries" in written format.  One of them was Astara, a group out of California founded by Earlyne and Robert Chaney (in the 80's I think).  In their manuscripts, it was explained, that there were many Mystery Schools in the ancient times, and a number of more modern systems have attempted to draw upon their wisdom.  Blavatsky's Theosophy, the Rosicrucian enigma, and ancient and modern Freemasonry are some examples of these. 

So by the time I was 19, I was very eager to understand more about groups like the Masons who just happened to be an accessible and living tradition.  This was before the advent of information streaming into youtube and google.  Though these platforms were running at the time, there was less data that could be gathered from their use, and I wanted to experience first-hand what this Masonry thing was all about.  The rituals I underwent were very much life transformative, and I felt they fit very nicely with the greek philosophy and Platonism that I was studying at university that year.  The traditional definition of Freemasonry is "a peculiar form of morality, veiled in allegory, and illustrated through symbols."  If I were to summarize the "teachings" of the Craft" if any exist in rudimentary form, they would be something like,


1.  There is some kind of "God" or higher power called by many different names and many different cultures.
2.  Human beings play a unique or special role in this creation.
3.  Symbols can be used as tools for personal development and reminders of what path to take in any given circumstance throughout life.
4.  By using the "tools of the craft," one can hope to improve their character and build a "temple" out of themselves that is fit to be a better vessel to serve the creating power and humankind. 
5.  We currently live in darkness and ignorance, but through self-improvement and honest living, we can "by degrees" remove the veils of darkness and live in the "Light" which may either mean knowledge and wisdom, or as I interpreted it Goodness (in the Platonic sense).


The climactic drama of craft Masonry is the brutal murder of one of the chief architects during the building of King Solomon's temple.  It is significant for two reasons.  In the myth, he is one of the three "masters" who has the masonic "Word".  With his death, the "Word" is lost, and it is not until future generations that it might be "rediscovered".  The second reason is that, like all the mystery cults of the ancient world, there is a "resurrection" story in that once the "fellow-craftsmen" discover the body of the master architect, they plant an acacia tree nearby, and its sprouting is a symbol of the re-birth.  (It is only recently that I realized that Acacia is one of the plants containing signifiant amounts of DMT.  Did the creators of the myth know this to be the case and encode this secret in the story for future generations to rediscover?)  The initiate (who has at this point been playing the part of Hiram Abiff and is currently laying "dead" on the ground) is "resurrected" and given new life as a Master Mason. 

There are many buried secrets in the drama many of which, I probably am not even aware because it may mean something completely different to each person who participates.  The birth, death, and resurrection of a god or godlike person seems play a central role many of the myths of old.

James Frazier in his classic work, "The Golden Bough" wrote an extensive anthropological treatise on the matter of ancient mystery cults, and his central theory was that the ancients were very much attached to the cycles of nature particularly due to the cultural need for grain and corn.  Each autumn, there is a harvest, and the plants "die" before winter, but spring represents a "re-birth" and the seed is able to germinate again into abundance apparently out of "nothing" (the whole of the crop is contained in a single seed).  These cycles are never ending, and so ancient religious used myth to incorporate civilizations inter-dependence on the life-cycle.  Osirus is killed and resurrected via Isis and their son Horus.  Attis, Mithras, Dyonisis, Orpheous, and later Christ (the story probably being a summation of all the old cults in a new unified manor) all have death and re-birth stories entombed in their individual mythos.  But the life of grain may not be the only purpose for the myths.  Religion and Ancient philosophy (which was steeped in inspiration from Mystery cult pageants) interpreted the story to be one of personal resurrection upon the death of the body.  The body returns to the dust, but the soul flies up to the realm of Forms only to take birth again after supping in the light of upper realms.  So re-incarnation was just important within the western traditions (pre Judeo-Christian and Islamic paternal monotheism) as it was in the eastern systems. 

Now the loss of the "Word" in Masonic mythos is another matter.  Word (or Logos in Greek) is essentially the most sacred and holy downwardly spiraling Golden Proportion which emanates into all creation.  The contemplation of and absorption of "Word" is the summum bonum of nearly every mystical tradition as well as exoteric faith.  Logos, Tao, Holy Spirit, Nahd, and Shabd are all synonymous terms for that spiritual essence which binds together all things.  The loss of "Word" with the death of the master may well point to the fact that at some point in history, we lost contact with "Source" due to our own violent tendencies.  The secret of how to tap into our own Origin was somehow buried in time, and it is not until history or personal destiny is "ripe" that the "Word" may be re-discovered.  And contact with Source may well be the secret to our own immortality and unfoldment.  Now what exactly is "Satanic" in all this, I am yet to fathom.  I have always sort of chuckled at people's fear and conspiratorial notions of Freemasonry and other fraternal organizations particularly because they usually come from closed minded Christian types who view everything that does not correspond to their world-view framework as "Satanic."  Growing up going to a Christian elementary school for 6 years gave me a very intimate viewpoint on the mind of the Bible lover who believes his personal book to be the Word itself.  This is not to say there are not many beautiful lessons in the Christian Scriptures. They offer a peep into the archaic life of humans and olden times.  But there are many wonderful scriptures to explore each representing a particular "flavor" through which the writer's personal experience of divine revelation might be shared. 

Now since we are all friends here, I see no need to chuckle at Bliss Guru's concerns over occult imagery,  we do not know what his background is in such things, nor what lens they are viewed through.  I only ask forgiveness if my artistic expression caused you any discomfort as it was not meant to do so.  Frankly, I was merely trying to process the magnitude of the impact of this medicine, and so imagery which was familiar and comforting to me personally seemed like a fair means through which to process and integrate the ceremony for myself as well as share with a community of common interest.  Because of the indescribable state which Toad Medicine launches the individual into, words are meager tools with which to convey the journey, so I think symbols and illustrations are helpful in making some sense of it all.  The Isis figure whose consciousness is emanated above its form as well as the eyes with the whirling light in front of it are pictorially fair depictions of perhaps what it was like.  The outspread armed figure with balanced polarities surrounding him felt like the metaphysical harmony of my gentle decent back into matter.  The first and final images are just examples of what initiation might have been like in an ancient temple where the priests gathered around the candidate to assist and support their experience of "death" or out of body state and their sending him forth into the world with light and blessings knowing him to be "reborn" after his time spent in the upper realms. 

[gurudedicationananda]

Hi Horus,


I'm sorry if I might have misrepresented what I meant to say.
I did not mean to call the drawings "satanic" or evil in any way.
And although I very much respect and like the shamans whom I visited, I certainly do not agree with everything that I was told by him; especially the part about toad magic being satanic in nature.
I have zero experience with both 5-meo-dmt and also toad venom ceremonies, so I am not qualified to speak on the matter.
I was just concerned about something, which is the fact that several occultists who turned out to be satanic worshippers primarliy used 5-meo-dmt in their "spiritual" ceremonies.
But I guess that anything can be used in a bad way, so this fact does not surprise me.
I actually like the art, I was just concerned that it seemed slightly cult-like to me, but beyond that the drawings are fantastic; did you draw them yourself?
This is something that I have wanted to experience for the longest time, and now the opportunity has finally presented itself, and yet I am afraid to proceed with it.
I thank you for kindly explaining your view on all of these matters without taking offense or ridiculing my post.
If you would be wiling to do so, I would love to hear more about your experiences with 5-meo-dmt and what you believe is the purpose of ingesting this particular sacrament.
I have just enough for roughly 20 or so powerful experiences, and feel like I am finally ready to go ahead and try this, but I wish I had some guidance in this field, because I am not experienced at all with 5-meo-dmt and do not realize the extent of what it is capable of.
Thanks man and have a great day

[Child Horus]

Perhaps with an experienced administrator is the best way to enter into this state.   The experience can be overwhelming.  I know nothing of dosing or anything like that, so if someone who has administered many times to self and others, it would make for a much safer exposure to the ?.


I would be interested to know who are 'occultists' and 'satanic worshippers' that have been exposed to the venom just out of intellectual curiosity.  I have browsed through the abridged history of many 'occultists' over the years (usually finding the 'darker' ones less worthy of time, but often fascinating, nonetheless), and I never once came across the use of toad venom or any substance like this.  Perhaps it is something I missed.  Again, all the ancient mystery rites and religions were 'cults', to use a descriptive term, simply meaning 'specialized cultus (or culture)'.  Wikipedia explains, "The term cult usually refers to a social group defined by its religious spiritual, or philosophical beliefs, or its common interest in a particular personality, object or goal."  The difference between ancient cults and modern world religious (vaguely speaking), is that the seeker actually took part of the drama and played a centralized role in the mystery of the god.  This contrasts with a story about a god witnessed as a third person.  As far as alignment, I would perceive that most of the mysteries were for some sort of improvement or revelation of life.  Short of people declaring themselves to be worshipers of Satan, I'm still unsure as what would actually qualify as being 'satanic'.  Probably even more so, it is a matter of understanding exactly who this character is (if anybody).  My opinion is that he probably entered into the Judeo / Islamic texts due to the Zoroastrian Ahriman who represents the lower pole of the dualistic godhead.  Perhaps in the individual it is the lower tendency of the mind in contrast with the spirit above.  It might be possible that the toad medicine actually raises one's awareness beyond the mind into a state of stillness (the mind being left behind).  Occult simply means 'hidden', and again has a very neutral value attached to it.  Mysteries are occult because they are simply not perceived to an individual until they are revealed.  This particular sacrament seems to remain a true mystery as one is left without the ability to explain or reveal the revelation.  I agree that it is probably well described as an occult practice as it is a gateway into a very hidden place within oneself. 

[gurudedicationananda]

Hi again ChildHorus,


one such satanist who used 5-meo-dmt in his practices was someone named "****".
I listened to part of his interview on youtube.
I liked some of what he had to say, so when I contacted the person who conducted the interview through email, asking how I could get in touch with ****, the interviewer replied by saying "don't bother", and went on to tell me that he is a Satanist.
I remember there being a few others as well, I'm just not sure who at the moment.
I personally don't think that there is anything inherently satanic about 5-meo-dmt itself, but as with anything, I'm sure it can be misused.
Thanks for replying and I really hope to have this experience very soon here.
I would like to initiate myself into the great mystery.