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Messages - Rising Spirit

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Greetings All,
                        I just wanted to touch bases with all of you fine 5 people.  Cheers for the New Year.  As so few comments have been added to this thread, it might be wiser to let it drift off into obscurity as some kind of cosmic gibberish?  Or might there still be something valid we might share about shifting conscious-awareness from the personal to the supra-personal...  from the individuated to the un-individuated...  from the awareness of form and substance, to the expansion of awareness that crosses into the formless and insubstantial?  I do believe there is.  Granted, any descriptions or lofty ideas we might convey deal in the dichotimous nature of the narrative...  I still naively feel it is healthy and most worthwhile to compare and/or contrast notes.   8)

One notion has come to crystallize within my admittedly limited human capacity for thought, which revolves around this rather heady matter, is how the blinding WHITE brilliance suddenly erases the dynamic of both self and other.  The experience is wholly nondual and the impact is staggering!  And it creates an existential urgency deep inside of the soul centered within this passing dream of mortal life.  One instinctively crafts an alternative paradigmn, internally and externally, for one's consciousness itself.  Born within the rapid expansion and full bloom of an energetic eclipsing with the Unified Field, whose vacuum absorbs and obliterated subjectivity like a supernova exploding galexies into star dust, enigmatically seats an epicentrical clear light void/zero-point energy field of sheerest quintessence, pulsing from deep within the vast emptiness.  As there can exist no duality in the very core of this all-pervasive force, the innate witnessing self is dissolved within seconds.  KABOOM and then no-thing.  No divisions or multiplications are even possible within the vortexial fulcrum of the Omniversal (were one silly enough to attempt to conceptualize a formula to pin-point the One, it would prooves ineffibley elusive).  Ironically, said Omniversal singularity is also born of an absolute zero-point inversion.  The eternal Tao.

Hence the blank canvas of subjective perceptual context?  Minutes later the ego incrementally coagulates and phew!  Back down to earth with a profound sense of gratitude and sincere humility.  After all, who isn't humbled by such a force?  In such an immense wake, grounding, balancing and integrating such phenomenal changes in perceptual data becomes by way of necessity, one's primary focus, both during the peak and following the destruction, dissemination, re-assimilation and entire rebirthing process.  Growing a new skin, if you will?  A skin which directly understands the underlying spirit humming within the emptiness within the fullness.  Recognizing a symbiosis with The Source and an empathic, inter-connection with all other forms of life...  to grasp some iota of reasonable cognizance of what takes place during a full whiteout experience and how to then reflect something positive and how this then, becomes quite life affirming.  Thoughts, counterpoints or personal anecdotes?  Namaskar folks.  _/|\_ _/|\_

Introductions/Newbies / Re: Blessings from Baja California MX
« on: January 13, 2022, 12:09:01 PM »
5MEO found me.  I waited 2 years for my first experience, which was divinely orchestrated in the most beautiful of circumstances. Pure magic. I acquired a cartridge of synthetic 5MEO about two months after my toad experience and have had about a dozen subsequent experiences since, navigating my way through a better understanding of this sacred substance, feeling called to learn as much as possible so I may safely share it with others.

I too share your feeling that this molecule is sacred and one is called to journey deeper and deeper into the immensity and sheer mysticism of such an experience.

I am here to learn. To grow. To connect with others who share my passion for this medicine.  To understand more about this divine gift, myself and our innate connection to everyone and everything.

I'm fascinated about the connection of 5MEO and higher states of consciousness mentioned in the Vedas, Bhagavad Gita, Yoga Sutras and other ancient texts. I'm interested in using this sacrament as a spiritual tool as we evolve into higher states of consciousness shifting into this new age. I'm enthralled with how it works in the brain and promotes neurogenesis.

Welcome home friend.  Please share some of your experiences with 5-MeO-DMT with the collective and feel free to include personal revelations, as well as cosmic ones.  It's always wonderful to compare notes or bring up pertinent aspects of our psychedelic voyages.  And yes, yes, yes...  enormous parallels exist between ancient yogic practices and the 5 experience.  I believe strongly that our beloved sacrement gifts the very kernel of Advaita Vedanta. 

My own personal lineage stems from the Tamil Nadu Nath tradition, Kundalini Yoga and Tantra, by way of Kriya Yoga (as taught by Paramahamsa Yogananda and the SRF) and other schools.  If one pays close attention, there exist clear hints of the alchemical connection, secret Ayurvedic medicines, by way of Sri Babaji Maharaj's instructions to a young Lahiri Mahasaya. 

 Once I was also involved with the Sant Mat path of Surat Shabd Yoga for some time, as my path unfolded.  I'm just not really a big fan of organizations, lineages nor well established sects...  too formal and hierarchical.  I have always  sought natural spontaneity. That said, the direct simplicity of Zen had always appealed to me.  This drew me towards Taoist teachings and naturally, sitting in Zazen became a path for decades. 

Please share your thoughts on meditation, psychedelics and their reverential integration within your own sadhana.  Grounding and finding meaning within very human, everyday events is so vitally key to our spiritual buoyancy.     

I have been documenting my experience and delving into scientific research. I would love to speak with others about their experience with the medicine, and eventually compile everything into a book. I'm a writer / yoga and meditation teacher, recently opened a healing studio on the beach in Baja about 3 hours south of San Diego. Ultimately, I'd like to hold ceremony in studio  and safely hold space for others interested in intentionally using this medicine. 

It is so so so sacred and I am humbled, honored, and beyond grateful for this gift.
 <3 _/|\_

That's just pure awesomeness!  It's so fine to have your presence here & now, joining in honest discussion, connection and support with the rest of us.   _/|\_ _/|\_

5-MeO-DMT Experiences and Testimonials / Re: Open to any help here
« on: January 06, 2022, 11:29:39 AM »
I recently had my first sessions with 5 and am happy to have found this Forum to bounce some thoughts and feelings around here.
I had waited 3 years to do this medicine and I am now sure as to why I waited. I did 2 rounds of insufflation of 5mg then 15 minutes later, 7.5mg. Right after insufflating the 7.5 I totally blanked out and then caught myself catapulted at light speed towards complete unknown. My authentic self and its voice found me(no idea how long this took) and told me I had to come back or I would be lost in this void forever. There was no support even though I was with a group of 8 others and when needing help they were busy with another participant as there were only 2 people supporting.

Amazing.  This is a classic description of accelerating through the emptiness of the undifferentiated, vortexial fulcrum of the nondual void.  It's a rather self-obliterating experience.  As I've experienced it, the very fabric of oneself dissolves within the rushing force propelling the soul of the witness deeper and still deeper into the indivisibility of the bright void.  Some folks experience a tunnel, others not.  I always feel as if a black hole is sucking me through the membrane of the dualistic nature of our material paradigm.  Whoever I am without my body and mind is, dissipates into a blinding pulsation of insubstantial effulgence.  In such a state...  what remains of one's subjectivity is totally ill-equipped to grok the limitlessness of the primary Source of all of being and non-being.  Yet, like the old saying goes, "There is light at the end of the tunnel." 

As I started to come back, yet still very deep in the medicine, I was completely disregulated and sweating profusely. I literally sweated out my clothes and within an hour they were dry again. I fortunately had a litre of water with me and that was consumed during the latter part of this session. I was in and out over approx. 1hr to 1hr 15minutes till I started to settle again. I have no idea where I went other then I truly felt I was going towards insanity. I have done Ayahuasca in a therapeutic setting over the last 10 years and only purged at this level once before in an 8 day Dieta with Rose and Hawthorne with 3 sessions of Aya. I have had difficult sessions yet nothing like this ever came through. Doing 5 was so intense in this way for me!  After this initial experience I wasn't sure I wanted to do any more medicine yet I calmed my system enough to feel into doing it with a small amount and felt that I would be ok with smoking one hit of 5-6mg that was dosed out in a water pipe. This session was after a break of around 30 minutes and was much gentler even though I felt the sensation of getting launched and then ever so quickly coming back with tears of gratitude coming through. I have little memory of where I went in this second session yet did not feel any related panic or terror I felt in the insufflation process.

I cannot possibly say with any modicum of certainty, but you may have snorted more of the medicine than you were capable of handling just yet?  That being said, Terrance McKenna once said, "If you take a psychedelic and you're not afraid that you did too much, you didn't do enough."  With 5-MeO it's common to feel that one has overdosed and/or that one may actually have died physically.  There is def a learning curve to entering into oblivion.  But you are here now, aware of this present moment and we all welcome you home.   _/|\_ _/|\_

I would love to hear more about others experiences and am definitely open to share more of my experience here. I have been left feeling confused yet coming back to curiosity now as I resettle into my day to day. I am also able to admit that I had a lot going on in my personal life, being with a complete set of strangers, and being in a big city and its collective energy definitely played into this. I have also been very cognizant of the sheer lack of integration process. I had to call the person who offered the session to share and query what had happened as I felt I had been given too much. It took me a few days to find the words to share that allowed me to see and feel what was and is my own experience.

Thanks for any helpful thoughts and/or direction as I am still very open to doing more of this medicine, building up over time.

While set and setting are key for any ceremony, this sacrement has the tendency to wholly erase the subjectivity of the intrepid pilgrim upon the sacred journey, albeit it temporary.  The molecule will consistently strip one of everything one dreams reality to be.  Even so, we all return and ideally, we've learned something profoundly powerful and life affirming, although the details are largely ineffable.  Thank you for sharing your journeys!  You have crossed threshold and I salute you.  Air hug!   <3 <3

Part Two.
(An attempt to quantify)

During my most recent and least obliterating of intrepid spirit journeys with 5, the subjective perception of my witnessing self remained intact for perhaps 85% of the psychedelic voyage.  This was due in part to my growing familiarity with the whole chemical bloom of the experience and more so, the amount of synthesized sacrement vaporized.  My last remaining bit from a 114 mg packet.  A gift from a beautiful soul.  It was likely to be approx. 5+ mg?  It was slightest volume I have ever consumed, in stark contrast to the previous journey, a classic whiteout experience.  In summation, the prior voyage was most self-erasing.  Not a blackout experience at all...  but something that takes conscious-awareness into an altogether different paradigmn, an infinite expansion of blinding light.  Such high energy shifts in perceptual dimensionality, literally vibrate the subjectivity right out of oneself (or is it deeper into one's self, to the very epicentrical core of being?).  Upon this recent, far milder voyage, I took careful notice of the series of the progressing stages of the trip.  I was accutely focussed on mapping out some of the primary attributes of such a nondual, transcendental experience.

As I am accustomed to do, I begin each DMT journey with the adequate amount of stretching, Hatha yoga and pranayama included.  I sit in deep meditation for 20 to 30 minutes and try to loosen myself up as much as I am able to, bodily, mentally and emotionally.  I clear the area carefully of potentially harmful objects and surround myself with blankets and pillows.  I always start such explossive experiences, mindfully sitting upright in a lotus posture.  Most of the time I end up either flat out on my back or I fall forwards onto my face and leave the material body helpless but safely here on Terra Firma, while meanwhile, I dissolve into the vortexial fulcrum of the omniscience of the eternal spirit.  Rarely can I maintain an upright sitting or standing posture with either DMT or 5-MeO-DMT.  This time, however, I maintained the padmasana through the entirety of the trip, holding space in a most attentive and deeply reverentialy way.   _/|\_ _/|\_

In terms of an almost immediate effect, was the awareness of an ever-increasing ringing tonality, whose intrinsic vibration creates multiples of sympathetic tonal harmonies, echoing endlessly, all combined to produce a symphony of ascending harmonics.  This is much like the ringing chime of an Asian brass gong being struck (yet with no beginning, nor any seeming cessation) and the tonal vibration acts an emissary sorts, echoing a frequency of sonics more powerful in such moments, than even galexies exploding into being.  It always sounds so conscious and ALIVE...  as if the ethereal ringing tonality was singing praises to the whole universe, echoing the voice of our Omniversal source.  The vibrating rings of energy cascaded throughout my mind and shattered my fixation with the mere surface of material life.  They all issue from a single, higher resonance tone and appear to mimic the supremacy of the single overtone.  Said "overtone" acts as a carrier wave and so, magnetically pulls one's rapt attention higher and deeper into the core source of the sonic vibratory field. 

Both N,N-DMT and 5-MeO-DMT share this higher tonality, oscillating fantastically, accompanied by the vertically sky-rocketing ride the pilgrim embarks upon.  The 5 sacrement seems less sharp and more serenity-evoking, if that makes any sense?  I always allow myself to travel consciously into the pulsations of the tonal ringing.  In conjunction with the sonic phenomena, there are intricate fractals weaving patterns in curved, aching geometric plumes.  While my voyages with this sacrement appear largely monochromatic, I noted the interplay of violet and teal-green refractions edging the intricately white lines forming the fractals within the inky darkness.  Each gentle pattern interlaced into a larger designs, melting incrementally into a ceiling of incomprehensible neon-brightness, whose clear and sparkling luminosity bespoke of the great effulgence, pulsing beyond this fragile mortal paradigmn.

There was a palpable building up of the Kundalini sleeping dormantly inside of my human physiology.  This 12th voyage with 5-MeO was astoundingly, yet unsurprisingly, exactly like a classical yogic description of the awakening of the Serpent Energy.  So much so, that I felt each ascending chakra ignite and fully activate, as the energy expanded by degree after degree.  The rise in energies was in total sync with the arching fractal weaving.  While quite less psychedelic and kaleidoscopic than with DMT or very high doses of LSD-25, the visions were softer edged, more lacey and extremely lovely.  They were projected over an inky blackness and above the arching wings of the personal witness, shone pulsations of laser beams, fractals of neon white light.  They were rays of effulgence that created an inverted pyramid of sorts.  These Jacob's ladder-like beams interlocked with corresponding pyramidal rays of energy rising up from beneath my bodily frame.  It appeared as if it arose from the very epicentrical core point of this entire planet.  The dual forces crystallized and coalesced as one clearly formed pattern.  Like the Star of David but multidimensional in scope. The center of this Star of David eclipsing with point blank within the focus of the Ajna chakra, the 3rd eye or...   singular eye. 

While the visual elements came so quickly, the sonic elements continued as the geyser-like rush of energy exploded into full bloom, which expanded into the entirety of my crown, as if the cosmos had opened an attic door into the Absolute.  And as the higher regions of my mind interphased with the full bloom of the Sahasrara chakra, the effulgence churning from higher fields of dimensionality ever entranced my internal observations. 

Naturally, my soul wished to go into a full whiteout eclipsing but I was content to float arms length above my material head, ecstatically fused with the indivisibility of The Light of God.  I was a holographic projection of the luminosity.  We all are always, however, the mesmerizm of our physical senses and the power of the mental ego, with it's penchant for dualism, keep us asleep and dreaming.  For a brief eternity, the "I" becomes translucent.  It shifts from a separate point of personal division, into a multidirectional vortex of a seeming infinity of selves.  The I becomes the Eye, if you will and there is this dawning realization that we are all the same indivisible being, The Omniself.  One unified field, a singular force, beating within all hearts, yet, free in limitless resplendence. 

From such a nondual epiphany, one's entire dream of being an isolated self, an independent part of the story is an utter illusion.  Whose mesmerizm is this anyway?  There is naught but the One, so without the divided mind of subjective perception, there exist a clarity and stillness, one far beyond any and all human thought forms.  Then at the perfect moment, Amrita floods from above and cascades into the vessel of the soul. This always nurtures the traveler's, mind's-heart, with the nectar of immortality and from such a state of spiritual reflection, the boundaries are effectively erased by the enlightenment of the underlying unity.  Tears flow from the corners of the eyes and Amrita trickles down the throat in ecstatic spurts.  I cannot honestly say if ordinary rates of breathing are actually happening, in such pivotal moments...  but if they are, it is ever so subtle a respiratory cycle.  Gratitude then follows, humility and a desire to be a much better person.  I am convinced that such an awakening has great value in increasing our compassion and empathy for others.  After all, when the lines disappear and the divisions dissolve within the pulsation of the great white light, The Source reveals itself in the most loving yet terrifyingly of ways, literally devouring our mortal limitations. 

A few weeks of grounding and integrating has done wonders for my outlook on life.  I am greatly humbled and so thankful.  Peace, love and much light to you all, my fearless friends.  Om Shanti.   <3 <3

Part One.
(No possible translation)

I have been awaiting the muse to share my last two 5 experiences with you fine people.  Partly because the mind shattering whiteout experience that happened late last July, my 11th spirit journey with 5-MeO-DMT, was effectively beyond any dualistic reporting and also, there was an immense need to ground and integrate such a powerful shift in perceptual dimensionality.  Finding buoyancy, if you will?  15 mg was by far the largest volume of the 5 sacrement that I had ever imbibed (vaped).  KABOOM...  and gone.

Perceptually, it was largely self-erasing, overwhelming and most identity-dissolving.  So much so, that my entire reference point for what I believe is my innermost state of conscious witnessing, had experientially vanished wholly within the blinding light of a seemingly, rushing swirl of raw spiritual energy at play.  Sonic vibrations reducing me to free radical atoms aligning to the forever ringing sound of Godself, enigmatically radiating divinity into the inky darkness of no-thingness.  A vortexial vacuuming ecstasy consumed my soul boundaries... evaporating me, myself and I with an ease that can be most terrifying!  :o

The fascinating thing about such complete, enlightening ego-deaths, is the immense mystery behind it all.  Personal cognizance evaporates with lightening speed and some ancient, yet unborn force draws the psychonautical pilgrim beyond the beyondest of possible beyonds.  Dissipation, annihilation, rebirth and unbound bliss coalesce into an explossive fluttering of self and non-self.  To this day, I speculate that such blinding effulgence is like an unbroken beam of Divine light, whose vibration sets into motion sonic resonance, which rings out an eternal note, one struck from the epicenter of all universes, all at once.  Even the filmiest of veils weave intricate patterning, the most subtly luminous, laser-like interwebbing spiraling from the inside to the outside...  and back again. 

Still, most of the experience shatters the fragile paradigmn of person-to-person communication into infinitesimally elusive degrees of dualistic interplay, eventually silenced, dissipating into the emptiness of complete non-duality.  It's all far too ineffibley transcendental to successfully dissect with our conditional human reason and therefore, defies all quantification, as per being an Absolute, clear light void.  So naturally, rather than chasing my own tail, in terms of worded linguistic efforts, I have been silent.  Until today, that is.  I journeyed for the 12th time with the sacrement this afternoon.  It was fueled by less than half the amount but still was very mystical in nature.  Yet, I was still subjectively present for nearly 85% of the geyser-like, ascending trip.  Enough to perhaps rekindle my desire to share my vision quests with fellow travelers?   <3

So mind-bogglingly beyond words, yet, the experience emphatically fuses one's soul awareness to the trajectory of the infinity of this present moment.  Personality is, blasted into a formless limitlessness so vast it scares me half to death, each and every time it devours my very subjectivity...  opening an empty/fullness pulsing in symbiosis with a blindingly bright, insubstantial effulgence. 

Meanwhile in the material realms, pulsars, exploding supernovas, black wormholes thirsty for energy, spiralling galexies creating solar system after solar system, sky-rocketing cometary bodies, earthly life and microscopic deep interiors create completely geometric phenomena.  Such incredible symmetry that super-charged particles spiral together in seamless unity.  Waves of particles dancing freely within a wholly symbiotic pulse.  Atoms, neutrons, electrons, quarks and tinier and tinier ethereal nanoparticles ad infinitum... appear in harmony and appearing equally as all things, a pulse to all beating hearts, everywhere all at once (and forevermore). 

Ultimately, I humbly speculate that deep within such an immense blinding whiteness, is a love too difficult to convey in words.  Too beautiful to adequately exalt and far, far too ineffible to grasp with mortal heart, mind nor even intuition...  exists the core, zero-point field of pure indivisibility.  Perhaps the bright void from whence everything manifests from therein or simulates out of?  Nondual presence.  So great a field of sparkling, shimmering luminescence (Omniscient and oh so perfect a causative Source) it dispels the mesmerizing illusion of birth, death and our fleeting human dreamscapes.  Well then, it seems that I have said an awful lot about what cannot feasibly be spoken of.  I'm sure that the irony is not lost to most of you guys?  Have a happy and healthy Holiday Season!  AUM   _/|\_ _/|\_

General Discussion / Re: 5-meo and interconnectivity
« on: July 01, 2021, 09:58:59 AM »
Finally getting around to sharing my thoughts, feelings and small understanding of the phenomenon of interconnection.  And especially, how this relates to the ceremonial use of entheogens.  Through the magic of chemistry, one's consciousness is shifted from the ordinary state of awareness, enigmatically so, towards the most extraordinary state of conscious union with the absolute and undifferentiated field, the ethereal grid upon which everything appears and then, disappears back into the shimmering void, after a stitch in time.  Upon seeing beyond the veil, everything changes, forever!  An essential part of this immense transformation, is finding deep empathy and compassion, unity and seamless interconnection with all of life itself.  The flowing essence of the eternal Tao... forever changing, yet always abiding.

I do believe that sacred medicines teach us about the frailty and illusory nature of our own individualized conscious-awareness.  We are all of us born into this 3-dimensional paradigmn without any readily accessible capacity to navigate through this often times dangerous physical reality.  As such, it takes us years and years to train ourselves to exist as a separate part of the whole.  How to live seeking pleasure and happiness as an isolated personage.  Sure, we are part of the greater collective and as unique parts, we comprehend only a fraction of the totality.  We are indoctrinated to desire this or that for ourselves, searching for our own individual contentment.  Naturally, we have strong familial relationships.  We look for friends and lovers along our way through life.  We seem to need to bond with other individualized centers of perception.  To unite, despite the separation that duality necessitates.  To discover the power of love and to share love with others.   <3 <3 <3 

I humbly feel that over and above all of our many instinctual human drives, is that of discovering our interconnection with each other and ultimately, the universe as a whole.  We are hardwired to seek something more, something beyond all dichotomies.  Deep within our beating hearts pulses a sacred remembrance.  An innate interrelationship with our very Source, that is rekindled by all of our highest degrees of spiritual attunement.  More than any other entheogenic molecular medicine, 5-MeO-DMT erases the conditioned isolation we are programmed by social norms to stay compressed within.  In such direct interphase with oneness...  all personal identity is temporarily dissolved.  In so doing, the 5 anointment shatters our narrow fixation and opens the floodgates to an infinite conscious-awareness.  This self obliteration creates the perfect storm for immense spiritual awakening.

Now a huge part of said awakening is our recognition that we don't really exist as separate parts of the indivisible totality.  That our most unique characteristics are truly universal and entwined with all else within the dreamscape of our mortal sentience.  Deep, deep within the vortexial fulcrum of the Omniversal center, we become reacquainted with eternal moment, the timeless now, the insubstantial and wholly transcendent state.  We merge into the blinding brilliance of the formless effulgence that is the center of all strata of being and non-being, like the proverbial moth to a flame!  Immersion without definition follows suit and the tiny dream bubble pops, returning into no-thingness, awaiting yet another material incarnation, a microcosm uncoiling, perhaps it's just another dream within a dream?

Ergo, the palpable presence of interconnection overrides any heretofore, conditioned perceptual imprisonment.  Mind is lost within labyrinths inside and outside of the realm of any subjectivity,  then catapolted into the clear light of the void...  thus obliterating any finite trace of personal ego, of oneself in counterpoint to another being.  It transmutes into a rather difficult to describe state of existence....  perceiving oneself within others.  In an ultimate sense, there really are no others.  Everything is truly Godself entwined within itself, an infinity of mirrored refractions. 

Much like facets upon a jewel, myriad reflections of the interior light, dance upon the entirety of one single gem.  Entheogens dramatically reveal this intrinsic unity.  Such notions of me or mine dissolve, albeit only briefly, to vanish within the illusory dream bubble of a separate self, for our truest freedom within this sacred union.  There is naught but the limitless Omniself, forever abiding in resplendence, and as it is an unbroken core, zero point field of emptiness (Buddhist idea of Sunyata), it cannot be divided into fractions, save within the still dreaming mirage of oneself.  We are always That, always have been, always will be.  Tat Tvam Asi, Hari Om Tat Sat, Aham Brahmasmi and Sat Chit Ananda (as spoken in Vedic Sanskrit). 

May we each seek to ground our sacred epiphanies and look to each other for healing and communion.  Bringing the light of the Soucrce energy, back down to earth, into our everyday lives, is so vitally key to reintegration and our overall spiritual growth. By healing ourselves, we help to heal this often troubled world.  Let love, empathy and compassion be our earthly compasses.  Namaskar to you all, my dear 5 Hive friends!  I love you each and all without measure.   _/|\_ _/|\_ _/|\_ 

Poetry and Art / Not Exactly Poetry... but Deeply Inspired Words.
« on: June 05, 2021, 08:29:10 PM »
These random sentences were jotted down just hours after one of my most powerful 5 journeys.  I just found this piece of scrap paper that I had written down a series of choppy, flowery descriptives.  This is hardly poetry but is fueled by the nondual field with this most sacred of medicines.  _/|\_ _/|\_

"Mudras & Kundalini spontaneously bloom from the immersion.  The songbird takes flight through 12 planes, plus Infinity."

"Parallel bars of ascending light rays radiate a vortexial plume of energy.  Harmonics of the dual frequencies entwined, together unite in one supreme overtone (all sonic oscillations melting into one AUM vibration)."

"The breathless state and unmoving body, coalescing in euphoria.  Light dissolving into light abounds.  Empty sky, limitless expanse of bliss beats inside of one's drumming heart."

"Ergo, Absolute bliss=Divine rapture=Satori=Samadhi are indeed noble words...   but no uttered words can capture the effulgent fusion."

"Euphoric, enigmatic quietude absorbs the gesture of self...  revealing a grand transcendence.  Wings spread wide beyond all thought, lift the minds heart, forevermore flying into Godself."

Introductions/Newbies / Re: Old Man still Evolving
« on: February 25, 2021, 08:55:18 AM »
But it continues to make me curious about what could happen in the future and how might other substances help.  Since then I've tried sessions of LSD, mushrooms, and 5-MEO-DMT (I had trouble getting a full hit of this - very intense for about a minute but then faded fast).  Anyway, still hopeful, still learning, and still evolving.Dave

Welcome aboard,  brother.  I am curious what you've done, in terms of preparation and/or practices, so as to build receptivity to the sacred medicines and train oneself in surrendering conditioned mindsets.  I find sitting and moving meditation key to my capacity to release myself during ceremony.  And I personally feel that age is never a barrier to breakthroughs.  My own inaugural voyage with 5-MeO-DMT happened just 3 months prior to my 60th birthday.  Honestly, I initially thought I might actually stroke out...  but that was simply my fear being ripped away faster than I was comfortable with, given the rapidity of my heartbeat and the quick onset of self erasure and all.  That said, my ten journeys are perhaps the greatest blessing to have happened in my entire lifetime.  Please share something of your 5 experiences in the proper subforum.  It's great to have you join the fold.   _/|\_ _/|\_


Thanks so much, free-range, for reviving this old thread.  It's personally fascinating to me to read about my prior understanding of whiteout experiences, insofar as never having been blessed by 5-MeO-DMT before.  Having had ten mind-blowing immersions with the sacrement, occurring over 2.5 years time, all I can say is that words are not enough to truly convey the quintessential moment that everything one has been conditioned to perceive, shifts so rapidly and very, very exponentially into a bright white light paradigm of sheer oblivion. 

Thus, wholly undifferentiated force quickly consumes all conceptual boundaries and fixed modalities of personality...  so much so, that all distinctions between this or that, the inside of the outside, oneself or another...  all dissolves into a blindingly white vortex of pure omni-dimensional consciousness (conscious of exactly what, though?) wherein there exists no individualized context, nor any shred of perceivable manifest dualism at play, at such a pivotal point in the divine eclipsing with the 5 medicine

Is it then an absolute existential vacuum suctioning for an eternity in the making?  Again, it cannot feasibly be said in human linguistics.  And while it cannot truly be said, ironically, it can be known directly but at an immense cost, I would think?  Death-Bardos-Rebirthing.   Now from this side of the proverbial looking glass, I do humbly feel that what this indivisible force is conscious of is simply being existence itself but without form or any iota of substance.  It flies way beyond reason or finite quantification, naturally, for subjectifying a state of non-dual energy is pretty meaningless.  It may even be misleading, in an unintentional way?  That being said, like a month to the flame, spiritual curiosity draws our rapt attention deeper down the rabbit hole, so to speak. 

The desire to return to the crystalline hub of infinite presence, now outweighs all other relative mortal interests.  This seems to sit in the background of ordinary life, eager to rekindle when the timing is perfectly aligned.  Likewise, one's capacity at fully surrendering one's own dreamscapes for a seamless union with the source of every plane or dimension, the bright void...  incrementally becomes quite clearly focussed.  Yet I cannot honestly say with any conviction, that during the peak moment within all ten epic ceremonies, that I had any perception nor even any definition of myself as being a subjective witness.  Not exactly like being a blank canvas, it's really more of an inherent sense of vibrating in unison with an intricate, all pervasive lattice-work or perhaps interconnected light strings, all spiralling as the unseen embodiment of the torus dynamic, add infinitum. 

Getting lost in the void and finding new life without thinking or even needing to know anything.  Just vanishing within the dawning understanding of always having been this unbroken webbing of fractal interrelationships, for they are apparently indistinct from the whole of the unified field and omni-matrix but are also an eternal rippling of quantum pulsations, all synchronized in an epicentrical fulcrum of an unlimited, sacred mystery.  As a human word, ineffibility only vaguely hints at this stage of supra-heightened awareness.  Samadhi and Satori are traditionally used in Asia but in the peaking moment, the pure translucency surely evades any and all attempts at naming the unnamed source. 

Of course, when the eclipsing moves beyond full zenith and individuated self re-crystallizes as one's primary subject of attention...  there is such a heightened, intense feeling of gratitude.  It is such a valuable, cathartic rebirthing experience!  And more and more, the remembrance enigmatically shimmers effulgently within the periphery, like an enticing jewel, glistening seductively within a mirage and yet, the refracted luminance endlessly draws one to focus clearly upon a metaphorical, twinkling star high up overhead.

Be well all.   _/|\_ _/|\_

Good day, one and all.  I thought I might just post a thread within this sadly neglected, spiritual sub-forum about the mystical and wholly nondual nature of the 5-MeO-DMT experience.  Granted, speaking in human linguistic terms of the eclipsing of oneself and the sacred molecule, one can but fall tragically shy of the mark, as how does one catch the ineffible in mere words?  So we always fail to cohessively dissect the reality of the supreme unification rationally...  it burns itself forevermore within our very souls.  Ergo, nothing can rbe said, yet there is still value in sharing fractured insights and slivers of our most life-changing, supra transcendental epiphanies.  At least, I truly feel that this is of paramount importance and I strongly suspect that I am not alone in this regard?

Over 2,500 years ago, the venerable Chinese sage Lao Tzu, wrote that,
"The Tao that can be described is not the eternal Tao.  The name that can be spoken is not the eternal name.  The nameless is the boundary of Heaven and Earth.  The named is the mother of creation.  Freed from grasping, one can see the hidden mystery.  By desiring to hold this fleeting world, one can only see what are seemingly "real" manifestations of this indivisible force, and not the true essence."
(Isolated within one's own dreamy illusion of transient, forever changing appearances).

So, this timeless conundrum is not just limited to psychonautical voyagers alone, it is equally paramount to all of humankind, as a whole.  Given that the ancient Taoist sages were alchemists, who can truly say if entheogenic compounds were not in part responsible for some of these deeply cosmic and poignantly poetic observations?  That being said, I would like to steer this discussion towards the commonalities shared betwixt the ancient mystics and/or present day explorers, who with some trepidation, venture into the realm revealed by Toad secretions or synthetic 5-MeO-DMT.

We all collectively share many of the very same paradigmatic, existential dynamics.  In symbiosis, we are each and all of us, awaiting the ultimate awakening from our own self-inflicted imprisonment.  We are all born into this world, we incrementally learn to navigate within this seemingly material universe, which we co-create together with one another and within the measurement of the time-space-continuum...  so too, we all eventually die physically.  Thus we freely choose, whether we believe we do or that we do not, to essentially dream ourselves into the living fabric of this 3-dimensional, mortal lifetime.  And ultimately...  we pass away and then return to whence we arose from, waaaaaaaaaaay way back into the unborn & undying Source of Omniversal Being.  As such, the 5 sacrement lovingly (and often terrifyingly) gifts us with magnificent glimpses of true reality beyond the confines of ourselves.

We are suddenly pulled instantly into an explosion of purest energy, we are helplessly drawn into a skyrocketing journey reaching the borders of sheerest oblivion and then, the molecule drops us right back down into our own dream bubble of egoic mesmerism.  I do humbly feel that such spirit voyages are very, very important for the growth of our awareness, facilitating the remembrance of our very souls.  For tasting the nectarine force of eternity is, as far as I'm concerned, a gift more precious than any worldly treasure.  How lucky are we?  Well, at least once we move past our instinctual fear of death and dying and our resistance to ego dissolution, shattered within a stasis of total self erasure.  Even so, I have come to emphatically believe that the unbound joyousness and limitless ecstatic bliss generated from such a full release dose of this anointment, is a prize superseding any degree or measurement, in conceptual terms...  a veritable Holy Grail.   

I feel strongly that seamlessly dissolving into the undifferentiated brilliance of the full-blown whiteout experience is by far, the absolute pinnacle of individual existence.  Ironically, it cannot seemingly bloom exponentially until the human host's mind is wholly stilled and subjective witnessing of the phenomenon cleansed away (albeit temporarily).  Curiously though, there are supra-luminous impressions etched upon the heart and soul of the intrepid pilgrim.  Within such an enigmatic pause, waves of energy fuel spiritual awakening, which washes over the soul bird in it's blinded, yet intuitive flight.  Ergo, much can be gleaned from the immersion. 

Buddhists speak of a neon bright emptiness, an effulgently shimmering void without any degree of any distinct thing-ness...  an eternal expanse of formless force, radiating epicentrically, all that could ever become a potential reality in bloom.  They named this Sunyata in ancient India.  Paradoxically extending into disillusion of dimensional, finite being, the individual self disappears and all directional thought ceases to be detectable.  Not just an absolute nothing...  but still, no thing at all.  Like the Chinese notion of the Tao, it remains free of any dichotomy or fractured dualism.  It's nature defies our fragile reasoning and vain attempts to accurately describe this all-pervasive presence through reason or definitive quantification.  God then,effulgently remains shrouded in complete mystery.  That being said, we are ever drawn like moths to the holy flame.  5-MeO-DMT takes one to this enigmatic point and further beyond the beyondest of any knowable beyonds.  Save for our nondual epiphanies, it is wholly unknowable to the isolated witness (in terms of rational, subjective thinking). 

Still, while tantalizing the conscious-awareness of the intrepid spirit body with the exquisite flavor of forever-ness, this always present, zero-point field of unbreakable unity, magically consumes the barriers and destroys the very bars which imprison the immortal Omniself and enlightens the indwelling soul-witness to the Source.  This is surely the realm of the mystical state of Samadhi.  Please feel free and encouraged to chime in with any ideas.  I so marvel at such gems of my fellow human family member's unique insights. And while any talk at all is kind of futile, certainly, I value any offerings with great enthusiasm.  While attempting to speak of the miracle of the nondual state escapes our fervent grasp, I submit that there is much beauty and wisdom to share with one another.  Namaste & Namaskar. _/|\_ _/|\_

Introductions/Newbies / Re: My 5MEO + Kundalini Journey
« on: December 06, 2020, 07:29:37 PM »
Hello there Ollie, it's so great to have you here.  Please share your experiences, in the proper place, your journeys with 5-MeO-DMT and also, with the living force of Kundalini activation, with or without the aid of an entheogen as a direct catalyst.  Thanx and welcome aboard!  _/|\_ _/|\_

Quote from: seeker
"What I think about it, whether I find a way to be happy with some understanding that it's all ultimately perfect or not, is completely fucking irrelevant. Reality IS. I Am That. Does someone here know a way to put this into the English language in a way that conveys the IMMENSITY of this revelation? This is one of the key insights and I'm having a hard time explaining in words why this is so ultimately true and important, even to others at my retreat."

Thank you for sharing such an inspired and in-depth experience report.  Your capacity for self expression is wonderful.  As to your question, as direct immersion erases one's witnessing subjectivity, however temporarily, I humbly feel that no words can truly convey the immeasurable force and blinding brilliance of such an exalted, supra-heightened state of perception. 

That being said, people do enthusiastically try and however futile it is to speak in dualistic terms of the undifferentiated, indivisible field of the void, the Infinite empty-fullness (Sunyata)...  what else compares in degree of importance?  You did a splendid job describing your path and your revelations.  Thanx so very much!  Namaskar.   _/|\_ _/|\_

Introductions/Newbies / Re: greetings
« on: November 15, 2020, 08:13:29 PM »
Welcome to the Hive.  I am eager to read your experience reports. Please share some of your journeys with 5-MeO and what you perceived of the immense shift in attention, in the proper sub-forum, naturally.   _/|\_ _/|\_

While I composed this trip report yesterday, the occurence happened one month ago on August 10th.  It has taken me four weeks to ground the experience  and translate much of the dynamic into written language.  Here and there, over the last month, I jotted down memories and impressions.  While these "snippets" are fragmentary...  they still vibrate with the ineffable energy of 5-MeO-DMT.  I'd like to post s few of them here now, as an accompaniment to the more rationally composed posting seated above.  Okay?   _/|\_ _/|\_

Just a few odd snippets:

"One long slow inhalation and a deep pause...  then rapidly skyrocketing into an immense field of undifferentiated energy, pulsing in unison with my drumming heartbeat, opening a portal into infinite light, as I dissolve into the effulgent heartbeat of the void.  I had the sensation of falling out of myself.  Or was it far deeper into myself?  I felt the immediate need to crouch forward in the yogic tortoise pose, for I could scarcely tell up from down but still held on the the idea of having a physical form.  One that might topple the wrong way and potentially get hurt.  Seconds afterwards I had no feeling of being with the 3rd dimension.  No cognizance of existing within the time-space-continuum or of being human.  I was aware only of the high frequency vibration and the neon whiteness absorbing me into it's immaterial fulcrum.  I couldn't even question to myself if I even existed at all."

"As the geyser-like force propelled my consciousness higher and higher, I was ripped suddenly from my ordinary ego mesmerism.  Now I was experiencing a blindingly white flood of immeasurable energy.  It consumed me in a matter of a handful of passing moments.  I floated within an effulgent vortex of absolute formlessness for what felt like days, weeks, years...  if not even whole series of lifetimes (shuffled like a deck of cards within ancient, yet, unborn and infantile hands)!  While this sensation overwhelmed my rapidly shifting awareness, I was being incrementally washed away by an omnipresent, oceanic presence.  I harnessed my intent , overcame my fears and released myself willingly.  I have used the analogy of an Alka Seltzer tablet bubbling and dissolving within a glass of water, in the past before, and while silly on many levels, it is accurate in my experiences.  It seems most apt at describing the energetic dissolution of the fragile human ego-self, under the potent spell of this sacrament."

"I humbly suggest, that if there has been anything of true value gained from over 45 years of formal sitting meditation, it is the gradual capacity to hold silent witness to immaterial realms of existential reality.  The attunement developed to keep an unwavering point of focussed concentration upon sheer emptiness and the bloom of incorporial energies.  That being said, even one's individual subjectivity is pretty much erased from the immensity of the 5-MeO experience.  I personally find it rather impossible to keep myself centered within the unitive, nondual and simultaneously, try to encapsulate that expansive state with human wording or effectively describe the undifferentiated field of the Infinite.  One cannot be both indivisible consciousness and be an objective, separate observer.  When the eclipsing is anointed, everything finite and tangible melts into the blinding luminosity of the Clear Light of The Void...  gone like so much charred ash blown away in a gust of ineffable wind."

"The sequence and duration of the eclipsing must have ensued for some time.  It turns out it was close to forty-five minutes, as clocks and digital devices measure such things.  That being said, it felt like an eternity in the making, yet, the buzzing rush also existed without any iota of time or conversely, of timelessness.  The primordial now.  Eventually, from far, far away it came echoing...  I Am.  Am I?  Yes. That is all I knew, I Am.  Who am I?  What am I?  What I felt I was...  was wholly indeterminable, all I knew was that I existed within the innermost, epicentrical core of everything...  yet, I was fundamentally no-thing at all. I now feel that in our deepest vital center, we are all fundamentally impossible to limit or contain, let alone to even grasp.  We are each and all of us, also entirely enigmatic phenomena." 

"Perhaps the greatest paradox is that to be centered within the indivisible  state...  one needs to release one's separation from the oneness.  I have gone very close to the blindingly bright effulgence of the peak, several times but as my mind and very selfhood stops...  there comes a point of either observing the phenomenon or being the phenomenon.   When the last veil is torn asunder, an infinite pause takes place within the pilgrim's entirety of being.  Within such a vast and empty void...  there are no selves.  Not even Christ consciousness or Buddha Mind are allowed to fracture the unbroken unity.  It is herein that the Divine spirit is born anew, reborn as a timeless, substanceless pulsation.  Almost like the beating of a heart?"

"A turning point began to reveal itself and the free and undifferentiated consciousness that I Am, gradually became denser and still denser, until there was once more, a witness to the sacred vision.  An entity capable of feeling ecstasy and deep gratitude..   I had returned from existentially being a light so bright it cannot see itself, to an enraptured lover of the living presence of God.  My mind's heart was enshrined with a concentration of love so great it almost seems to yearn for release and self expression.  And so, I became myself again and cried tears of profound thanks and a resolve for lasting spiritual redemption.  Or so it seems from this side of the looking glass."

It had been almost exactly two calendar years since my inaugural voyage with the enigmatic God molecule, 5-MeO-DMT...  and this my ninth journey, I imbibed the largest amount of the sacrament yet, 13mg freebase.  The set and setting were nearly identical, as it was a gloriously sunny summer day with blue skies and puffy white clouds lazily floating across the sky.  I felt carefree, excited and most inspired...  and that is quite an understatement.  The crickets and cicadas were singing their enchanting summer songs and dragon flies drifted upon the easy summer breeze.  Birds chipped along in flawless harmony.  I felt ready to offer myself to the immense force of the medicine, ready to sacrifice my dreamscape to the undifferentiated power of the infinite Godhead...  like a tiny air bubble, effortlessly washed away by the force of a raging river.  Or perhaps so much cosmic dust, blown into the beyondest of beyonds?  "Ashes to ashes, dust to dust." 

Admittedly, this is always VERY terrifying.  Right?  I don't care how much experience one has with other entheogens, 5-MeO is the pinnacle.  In my own journeys, this is as close to dying as I've encountered with any psychedelic substance before.  There is always the sense of actual physical death and it is coupled with the understanding that nothing of my dream of existence was ever real.  I, you, us, them...  none of it was ever real at all.  Sentience is impermanent and is a mirage of sorts.  If so, had by whom?  We may never know.  Some things defy encapsulation.  But who doesn't love a good mystery?  Well, I suspect that you all intuit what I am getting at.  Near death experiences without powerful psychedelic catalysts are much the same but from my own dramatic experience of drowning in a swimming pool, as a young boy, it is radically less explosive.  But since I didn't actually expire permanently, I can't say with any modicum of certainty that it doesn't accelerate to such a state.  No one can ever return to tell us, anyway.

Obviously, the greatest impact of the Sacred Medicine left me in a vacuum, an entirely entranced focus, one without even the sense if being an observer to the experience unfolding.  Still, upon partial re-coalescence, an immense wealth of omniversal knowledge cascaded into my newly forming subjectivity.  It was like a profound remembrance.  An epiphany which topped any epiphany I'd ever gleaned.  There was this timeless presence which eluded my sense of origin or direction.  After all, when the inside and the outside are identical, it is impossible to contextualize anything nor grasp any quantifiable concept or meaning about such mysterious states of perception.  That being said, an ancient voice was singing a song which contained the entirety of everything, while remaining fixed within it's forever enigmatic no-thingness.  AUM... out from the roaring silence, AUM.  I am here now.  I am awake within this beginningless, endless moment. I always have been.

It dawned upon my infantile ability to think at all, that such a remembrance was the whole purpose for my existence.  It had been all along.  It is fundamentally all of our purpose for existing.  I seemed to comprehend that I chose to be here.  We all do, in a nutshell.  I don't know why and nobody can truly ever know why.  It just is as it is.  We naturally, are here because we decided that we are to be here now.  A very long journey of awakening had now crested for this mortal dreamer.  A notion arose that there is no reason that we appear out of an absolute realm of supreme void.  Some things just transcend reason.  Ergo, the universe recreates itself in an unbridled, spontaneous manner.  The entirety of the cosmos, both microcosmic and macrocosmic, blooms out of itself.  Who can say why?  And I suspect that we each, likewise, blossom of this same nondual field, this very same source.  It's a bit like finding oneself back in the womb, but preparing to give birth to oneself.  Does that make any sense? 

I began to feel saved, if you will.  Gratitude filled me completely.  I felt a pristine love, self-obliterating one like no other kind of love I have tasted.  Rather, the degree that I was experiencing love was far greater and far more intoxicating than I'd heretofore ever had.  Complete unity without division.  I would never feel alone again, as I was certain beyond a shadow of a doubt that I was quintessentially, all one.  "I and my God are one."  Taking this one conclusion further, it became palpable that while I myself, as a separate part of the whole, was a cognitive illusion of sorts, playing hide and seek with myself...  the Divine was not illusory in any way.  It is the only reality, cleverly hidden within everything else.  The Omniself resides in complete resplendense and always shall.  Therefore, the only thing of reality was our core essence residing within the Unified Field. This brought on a flood of tears and like a waterfall, a cascadence of ecstasy beyond anything I had ever known.  This "cascadence" poured down from the highest plane I am able to conceive of and flooded my mind's heart with the kind of euphoria that I hadn't imagined in my wildest dreams.

Yes, I have had this experience of Amrita before.  It is gifted to the thirsty human spirit from the epicentrical Source.   It always seems to settle in the heart and spill over into the entirety of one's being.  I was at last, inextricably home!  I had finally realized both my purpose and my own small destiny.  I fell forwards in deepest humility and thanked God with all of my rapidly re-crystallizing urgency.  I vowed to live more consciously, to live far more earnestly, with more focussed attention and to abide in deeper harmony with the entire universe at play.  I lovingly thank you all for sharing this world and the intertwined strings of our ever expanding dreamscapes together. 

Sat Chit Ananda_/|\_ _/|\_

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