I offer my sincere apologies, my fellows, for such a vague post. I was intending to report my fifth 5 experience in some detail. That said, even as I typed my words... I had a reactivation. My mind froze in awe of the Absolute and in so doing/undoing, I lost my ability to relate cohesively, what my journey had been. It took some time to ground myself and begin to integrate the immense shift in attention. I'd like to continue now, as I've woven a number of the impressions and sensations into a slightly clear vocabulary. At least, that is my sincere aim.
At the onset of my voyage, I set adjective pre-flight jitters and centered my conscious-awareness upon the direct pathway to knowledge, freedom and serenity. Within 3 minutes of inhalation, nothing I conceived of or believed in, even existed anymore! 11mg is the highest dose I've experienced, so far. I truly approached full blown whiteout... yet, remained cognizant of existing. There persisted an awareness of holding my being in two places at the same moment and this understanding began to dominate my rapt attention.I was the intrepid voyager. The seeker of the ultimate reality, one which shines in divine harmony. Yet, I had no true form, no limitations, no mortality and was wholly substanceless. I was both the awakening child and the empty void in nondual resplendence. Each heart beat chanted a paradoxical little algorithm, a silly little point and counterpoint echoed for just few minutes time, "I am." "Or am I?" "I am." "Am I really?" "Yes I am." "Who am I?" "Me." "Who is me?" Then everything melted away and a deep quiet dominated my perception. The whiteness was overwhelming but euphoric. For myself, there has always been a twin effect from the medicine. I find my awareness centered upon both macrocosmic and microcosmic phenomena. I live as an independent individual and an indivisible force, a divine manifestation of sheerest Omniscience.
As the energy rose and expanded, all thought was silenced completely. The irresistible force that had so radically shifted my attention from the relative world of personal subjectification, had dissolved into a bright, undifferentiated field of being. Individual self orientation was superseded by a more holistic, universal view into the living pulse of existential presence. There is a place we each share as human beings. A state of consciousness in which my deepest core is also your deepest core and everyone's deepest core. The 5 sacrement gives this vision and healing to any who would willingly receive it.
I'll have to add the caveat that discussing the nondual eclipsing encountered from 5 or Toad, exists deep within and far from our "normal" experiential modality and as such, cannot be understood through our ordinary mindset. This is perhaps why I so enthusiastically endorse sitting or moving meditation. Although, even a lifetime of internal cultivation and mindfulness... cannot control the force of the God Molecule as it shoots you into Infinity. Surrender to the immense force is so vitally key. Our deconstruction is an opportunity to ascend into uber subtle states of existential being. The holiest of Gifts!
