Cosmic ecstasy, first taste of the medecine.

[Frog]

Hello friends !

This was my first taste of 5MeO-DMT

On the 13th of December, I went to an appointment with a facilitator, for my first 5MeO-DMT ceremony .
He was recommended to me by  ''ToadSchool'', following an email.
He accompanied more than 40 people aged 18 to 77.

We arrived around 10:45 a.m. He greeted us with a hug.
Introduction for each one of us.
A discussion with the facilitator about my experiences with psychedelics , my health, my intentions, my state of mind.
Then I signed a medical document and a release of liability.
This medicine is taken voluntarily with knowledge of the possible consequences.

He lit some sage and we took turns purifying our body and mind of negative elements.
Then he shuffled 2 sets of cards. One tarot and I forgot the other one.
We each draw 2 cards and read the meaning. I won't go into detail but rather say that I drew Ares, the god of war.
He interpreted this as suggesting to ask Ares for strength if a difficult time came.

He will be offering 3 successive doses of 2 mg, then between 4 and 6 mg and finally between 8 and 12 mg.
He takes the water pipe and gives a dry demonstration of how the administration will unfold.

I sat on my cusshion ,meditating for 15minutes.

Most of the time i was lying on my back with my eyes closed.
The facilitator offered me a blindfold but i declined, maybe next time.

He then weigh 2mg and comes back with the pipe.

1) 2mg, duration 5 minutes.
 I take 3 deep breaths and on the last exhalation he lights the straw and presents me the pipe. I deeply inhale all the smoke then I lie down on my back and Sergio counts 10-9-8-7....  The effect did not come immediately, a few seconds then i fell it. I saw circles of light spinning like fireflies and I also perceived sparks. No colors just light. No visuals, no breathing wall. No hallucinations. However counter intuitive it may sound,  that first dose was a little chalenging, due to the surprise , not really knowing how to deal with the medicine. Some difficulty adjusting to the effect. I guest i had some resistance at first. With the following doses there was no resistance and i was able to let go.

2) 5mg, duration 10 min.
Same scenario for the administration.
When my head hits the pillow, if I remember correctly, there was also an episode of light at the beginning, but when I started to move, the movements dominated this 2nd dose.
I was dealing with muscle contractions. I was shaking all over, from head to toe like a puppet
I accepted the situation and let myself be stirred for the duration of the effect.
Towards the end I said, smiling, "When is this going to end?", then I kept shaking.       
I have never experienced anything like this .

3) 10mg, duration 20 min
After the second dose, which could be described as a release of tension, I take the last dose of 10 mg.

My mind was calm with no anticipation.
As my head touched the pillow , my eyes were slighly open and I looked for a second at the facilitator
and then the room was engulfed in a white light and dissapeared.
AS i closed my eyes, there was an explosion of light and a rapid expansion towards the cosmos!
Blast off.

A powerful and irresistible energy, in which I agree to let myself be carried away, overwhelmed.
I did not offer resistance. Anyway, is it possible to resist this tsunami?
I was only aware of my breathing.

It was a moment of bliss that I could also describe as ecstasy, euphoria or cosmic orgasm!
Letting go was liberating and the immersion in this powerful light extended into the cosmos.
I felt that I was that light.
No thoughts, no fear, no memory, nothing, just ecstasy!
With each exhalation I heard myself say Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh
of wonder, of astonishment at the beauty of that revelation.

How can i describe this light, this space? I still wonder.

I was not afraid of dying, nor felt that I was dead. There were no concept of god either. This light was benevolent .
Frankly I don't feel that I've experienced an ego dissolution.  Or could this happen without pain ?                                                               

At the end of the ceremony, I had the impression of having lived a cosmic trip, and it was the most intense, special, astonishing, beneficial and liberating experience of my life.
I have never experienced anything like this.

Towards the end of the 3rd dose, I still had some muscle contractions.

I did gassho spontaneously, 3-4 times, in gratitude for having had the privilege of experiencing this moment.
I gave the facilitator a big hug and thanked him warmly for his support and his empathetic, attentive and warm presence.
I asked my wife how long the 3rd dose lasted and she answered only 20 minutes.           
It seemed much longer...!     
We left around 3:00. All in all it took around 4 hours.                                 
My mental state in the afternoon was calm and at peace, just like the next day.

3 different doses with very different effects.

I feel that the facilitator was carefull. A higher dose would have been even more explosive,
perhaps too much for a first time.
I could hardly have had this experience alone, without support and I think
that there is much more to 5Meo-DMT than what I have experienced.
I feel that I have just dipped my toes in that ocean .                                                                             

 Gratitude ! 

Question:  What did I experienced?
Thanks friends!!! 

[Rising Spirit]

"After the second dose, which could be described as a release of tension, I take the last dose of 10 mg.
Immediately, when my head hit the pillow, there was an explosion of light and a rapid expansion towards the cosmos!
Blast off.
A powerful and irresistible energy, in which I agree to let myself be carried away, overwhelmed.
I did not offer resistance. Anyway, is it possible to resist this tsunami? The room and its occupants disappeared.
I was only aware of my breathing.
I think I was this expanding light.
It was a moment of bliss that I could also describe as ecstasy, euphoria or cosmic orgasm!
Letting go was liberating and the immersion in this powerful light extended into the cosmos.
I felt that I was that light.
No thoughts, no fear, no memory, nothing, just ecstasy!
With each exhalation I heard myself say Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh
of wonder, of astonishment!

How can i describe this light, this space? I still wonder.

I was not afraid of dying, nor felt that I was dead. There were no concept of god either. This light was benevolent .
Frankly I don't feel that I've experienced an ego dissolution.  Or could this happen without pain ?                                                               

At the end of the ceremony, I had the impression of having lived a cosmic trip, and it was the most intense, special, astonishing, beneficial and liberating experience of my life.
I have never experienced anything like this."

Just beautiful.  I humbly submit that you have indeed experienced ego dissolution.  Granted, there are degrees of ego dissolution but tasting the ecstasy of the undifferentiated light demands both surrender and a kind of soulful receptivity.  I am overjoyed that your inaugural voyages were so powerful.
 Aho, Namaste and Namaskar.      

[Frog]

Thank you Rising Spirit for your understanding of this experience !

 

    

[Brother Goose]

Great report. Thank you for comparing how you reacted at different dosage levels.