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[Aha Moment]

Welcome aboard, friend.  I've come to the understanding that it's not the number of journeys one embarks upon that is most important, with the sacred 5 medicine, it's the integration and actualization of the profound insights and epiphanies that matters the most.  Moving from our dualistic state of perception, to the nondual, unitive field,  can be overwhelming and confusing after the epic voyage culminates.  Finding buoyancy and balance are key to our spiritual attunement and this takes some powerful internal house cleaning.  It's like endlessly polishing the mirror of one's soul.  A-ho.  🙏✨️✨️✨️✨️✨️

Thanks for that. I believe I have a sense of that. For me, thus far, it's been balancing the felt sense that we are all of the divine, or of the same substance, and yet I am also "me." The experience both raises questions and offers, not necessarily "knowledge" so much as an experience. For me it a very "unitive" experience, both feeling one with creation but also getting a sense that we are all connected and part of everything (which is obvious in some regards, but certainly felt profound in the moment). I am me and yet a part of me, and "me" did not exist."

This is where we pilgrims of Spiritus find a kind of circular logic presented from the cosmic teachings conveyed by the profundity of the nondual experience, via paradoxes ad infinitum.  I must also emphasize that it's not just chemically emboldened psychonautical voyagers who arrive at this same conundrum:  as monks, mystics, madmen and mediums also come point blank, face to face, with this mysterious irony.  I encapsulate it within my thoughts, as being that Aha Moment, whereby it becomes crystal clear that the holistic nature of the Omniverse, both immortalizes the individual and erases the individuated perception of the seeker as if he or she were merely a dream sequence, one without any reality or lasting permanence.  And while all that exists is Sacred and within such perfection, it's not fixed nor is limited by any form, contained substance nor strata of manifestation...  yet, this very sacredness creates, fully embodies and eventually re-absorbs the entirety of all phenomena back into the emptiness of the Clear Light of The Void.

It gradually becomes palpable to those who journey into Samadhi states, that God / Brahman/ Source / The Great Spirit/ The Eternal Tao...  is all that is in it's vast, limitless, causation.  I am, or seem to believe myself to be real, but that very personification is an illusion I experience as myself.  A dreamscape within an infinity of perpetual dreamscapes.  Even so, what becomes evident is that a divine presence permeates every iota of said illusion of oneself.  Yes, we are unreal when seen from a pure quantum level, while simultaneously, we are manifestations of the Absolute at play within the web of the relativity, itself a universal mirror of sorts.  Both the causative force which sounds the primordial first note, and the endless echoing of that Holy sonic vibration.

"I suppose my takeaway from that at present is what do I take from that, and how can/do I keep using that experience to "polish the mirror of my soul?" Not that there is an easy ready-made answer for that, but it's something to consider. I also feel like the immediate post-integration was great, but it is an experience that I am still mulling over and think about quite regularly."

I humbly feel that  what we are compelled to do is to make an assessment about how we do, or do not hold this mysterious revelation/ conclusion quite near and dear (keeping it as a secret treasure), said "polishing the mirror of one's soul" becomes a bonafide spiritual pathway, by earnestly bringing into clearer focus our very actions and intentions.  It might be likely that we are both mere phantoms and are also, living Gods and Goddesses manifesting this entire glorious masterpiece of living throughout the multiplicity of myriad dimensions?  By perpetually reminding ourselves to continue honing our attention and  dusting off the near ceaseless accumulation of illusory dust that existing within a dualistic paradigmn stirs up.  Yet, I feel that it's best for those of who spin our wheels within the sometimes contradictory, after-effects of mystical entrancement,  to embrace this paradox as a magical dance.  Or perhaps even as an eternal song? 

It requires honoring the focus of perception, discovering the thread of interconnection and cultivate soulful attunement within this complex dream of manifest  creation, whilst shattering said mirror...  into infinitesimally tiny light particles dissolving into sheerest formlessness.  Now, you are most astute in saying that there are never any genuine readymade answers.  Every effort we now make to understand how to integrate the experience of Unity and its mirrored twin, Emptiness...  often seems like a merry-go-round of mental gymnastics.  And surely, it really is if we are being 100% objective.  Only in the depth of silence can be heard the Omniscient vibration and while a subjective merging happens by following the scintillating reverberations of the roaring silence, within the fulcrum of the nondual,  timelessly hums the voice of infinity.  So, the internal journey becomes a sort of daily calling, a soul mission if you will, to find that divine note being struck endlessly within the grand orchestration of this vast and diverse fabric of universal being, becoming and eventual dissolution.  It may well be so, and I honestly do realize that I may  more full of shit than a barrel full of monkey poop, but I offer 100% sincerity, which is my intended goal. Yeah, it's just my blah, blah, blah but it comes straight from my mind's heart.  Lol.   😁

A-ho and Namaskar.  I see you and do honor you, my new friend.  👁

Thank you for posting such a most provocative thread.  From my own 12 experiences, over a four year period, I'd have to say that a profound change has taken place in my day-to-day perception of existence. While any bonafide entheogenic medicine can reliably shift conscious-awareness and rewire the brain, 5-MeO-DMT stands out in my mind's heart as the pinnacle of such tremendous transformative immersions.  Yet, as with all chemical enlightenments, we return to our dualistic reality and are left pondering the immensity of the journey.  That said, once the veil has been lifted...  there is no turning back.  On my own path, it's been an evolving process of voyaging beyond the beyondest beyond, and then condensing back to ego, settling back down into ordinary life and living.  I refer to this phase, as do most experienced psychonauts, as the integration period.  It requires grounding the taste of the infinite, throughout the seemingly mundane activities of mortal, existential perception. 

I personally liken it to finding buoyancy.  How does one ascend into the ineffible, merge within the limitless oneness, and through re-coalecense of individuality, retain the pure essence of the nondual? Frankly, one one hand you cannot, yet on the other hand, there remains a divine remembrance of having always been interconnected within such a field of absolute Light.  This intuitive recollection can be nurtured through deep meditation and it inspires us to cultivate a steady attitude of holistic fusion, honing the attention to focus clearly upon the eternal now, no mater how mundane the circumstances.  Which is certainly the proverbial, work in  progress.  I fancy the notion of embarking upon the process of touching the insubstanciality of pure being/non-being and finding the way to rediscover the endlessly transforming, vital link with earthly living as it evolves.  Holding unswerving attention upon interplay betwixt the Supreme state and the isolation of the personal self as it seeks contentmrnt and true purpose.  This journey has no short cuts but it does have inspiring episodes, some quite detached and blissful, some agonizing and cathartic...  those which lead to a clearer understanding of the unified field of resonance humming quietly in the epicentrical core of our blooming human revelations.  A-ho and Namaste, my friend.  🌎

Welcome aboard, friend.  I've come to the understanding that it's not the number of journeys one embarks upon that is most important, with the sacred 5 medicine, it's the integration and actualization of the profound insights and epiphanies that matters the most.  Moving from our dualistic state of perception, to the nondual, unitive field,  can be overwhelming and confusing after the epic voyage culminates.   Finding buoyancy and balance are key to our spiritual attunement and this takes some powerful internal house cleaning.  It's like endlessly polishing the mirror of one's soul.   Aho.  🙏✨️✨️✨️✨️✨️

There are many valid support groups that specialize with integration and balancing the tremendous revelations associated with journeys with 5-MeO-DMT. Granted, it's overwhelming sometimes.  It's silly to suggest just embracing the vast insubstanciality and undifferentiated emptiness of ground zero, by simply saying, "just let yourself go, man."  But on many levels...  it's how it is.  True dat.  Integration truly begins by accepting a particular neutrality and an attitude of grateful surrender.  Walk in peace, friend.  🙏✨️✨️✨️✨️✨️ 

I feel that it's safe to say that most travelers in ceremony with 5-MeO also reaches the point wherein everything percievable dissolves into the formless, empty vacuum of the Void.  On my inaugural voyage, I was confronted with the no-thingness of the core of being.  Of course, I had prepared for decades with deep meditation training but...  nothing really prepares one for self death and the finality of oblivion.  That said, I found that within the terrifying, sheer indivisibilty of it all, much illumination was forthcoming during the phase of recoalecense, which filled my emerging subjectivity with a profound sense of rebirthing and reawakened desire to serve the whole universal web of Source consciousness.  And an immensely great sense of gratitude bloomed and expanded exponentially.  This has always made integration a most cathartic and deeply healing experience.  🙏✨️✨️✨️✨️✨️

Well, what with Holiday spending and rising fears about the current administrations world-over, the crushing cost of living, most folks are feeling the squeeze.  In my own case, my wife fell a month ago and broke her leg at the hip. I've dropped down to part-time employment to help her out in her recovery. 

That said, I can certainly afford 25 bucks for this most worthy cause. If only 12-15 people made a modest donation of 20-25 dollars, we'd be all set for a couple years running.  👍👍

Thank you!

Have you had a chance to interphase with the molecule since your 12th experience related on this forum?

No I haven't.  I've spent a good stretch grounding and integrating the immensity of the experiences.  My supply is exhausted now, as it was sent from Europe by a wonderful soul who helped procure it for me.  Were I living in Canada, it would be possible to purchase legally but here in the USA...  acquisition is an underground, insiders privilege.  I attempted to legally buy 5-MeO-MALT but the chemical company required proof of legitimate scientific research.  I am not a scientist, nor associated with any university's experimentation. 

I have imbibed golden teachers and penis envy psilocybin mushrooms, as my circle of friends are involved with that sacrament.   And it's def not the same anymore.  It has taken on a different character in my recent journies.  It's much more like 5 than before.  Still visually kaleidoscopic but shifting into the nondual state has become easier and more enriching.  By the grace of God go I. 

[Maharani]

Maharani, I checked out your sonic masterpiece, Vortexial Fulcum, and it kinda triggered a reactivation!  Very, very fine musical/experiential shift in consciousness.  Bravissimo!  🙏✨️✨️✨️✨️✨️

Why thank you for the nice compliment.  And I will definitely check out your music.  Ultimately, anything we say about the 5 journey, from this side of the looking glass, falls quite shy of precise quantification. Still, we carry on objectifying the sheer ineffibility of it all.  I feel that whiteout and breakthrough are rather synonymous descriptives.

In my own personal semantics, there is a world of difference between a whiteout and a blackout experience (or the void of any experience).  Sure, the word "out" may be inappropriate.  Perhaps white-in is more relavent?  As while there is a complete cessation of perceived duality, there is indeed an experience, however ineffible and nonlinear in nature.  Decades of meditation attest to to such thoughtless awareness.   

I think that this is a much needed feature towards helping  continue this incredible site.  Obviously, holiday season upon us and this is not the optimum time to ask for support, but we honestly need a little help.

So just as soon as we get a little bit past this festive time of the month, I intend on making a donation.  I'm not wealthy by any means, but every little bit combines to make a huge difference.  Preferably, through PayPal.  If members contribute even a small donation, collectively we can keep this wonderful resource running smoothly and issue-free for the foreseeable future. 

Happy Holidays to you and yours. 

[Realmstill]

Greetings, Realmstill and welcome aboard.  I apologize for the gap in responding to your introduction, but we've  had some technical issues and problems with bots, so the site was shut down for a spell.  Please feel free to browse in depth, through the experience forums, as there is a wealth of valuable knowledge therein. 

Hare Krishna.   

Thank you for your comment Rising Spirit !
 

Thank you for joining the 5 Hive.  Happiest Holidays to you and yours.   

"After the second dose, which could be described as a release of tension, I take the last dose of 10 mg.
Immediately, when my head hit the pillow, there was an explosion of light and a rapid expansion towards the cosmos!
Blast off.
A powerful and irresistible energy, in which I agree to let myself be carried away, overwhelmed.
I did not offer resistance. Anyway, is it possible to resist this tsunami? The room and its occupants disappeared.
I was only aware of my breathing.
I think I was this expanding light.
It was a moment of bliss that I could also describe as ecstasy, euphoria or cosmic orgasm!
Letting go was liberating and the immersion in this powerful light extended into the cosmos.
I felt that I was that light.
No thoughts, no fear, no memory, nothing, just ecstasy!
With each exhalation I heard myself say Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh
of wonder, of astonishment!

How can i describe this light, this space? I still wonder.

I was not afraid of dying, nor felt that I was dead. There were no concept of god either. This light was benevolent .
Frankly I don't feel that I've experienced an ego dissolution.  Or could this happen without pain ?                                                               

At the end of the ceremony, I had the impression of having lived a cosmic trip, and it was the most intense, special, astonishing, beneficial and liberating experience of my life.
I have never experienced anything like this."

Just beautiful.  I humbly submit that you have indeed experienced ego dissolution.  Granted, there are degrees of ego dissolution but tasting the ecstasy of the undifferentiated light demands both surrender and a kind of soulful receptivity.  I am overjoyed that your inaugural voyages were so powerful.
 Aho, Namaste and Namaskar.