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Messages - eternity

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1
5-MeO-DMT Experiences and Testimonials / Re: Ripped open by 18mg
« on: October 05, 2017, 08:53:25 AM »
Hi Humble Voyager,

I am very grateful for your response. It answers some of my questions and gives me very good advice. I can see where you are coming from and I get it.
Thank you and hope to share some more wisdom around here.

2
5-MeO-DMT Experiences and Testimonials / Re: Ripped open by 18mg
« on: October 04, 2017, 01:48:42 AM »
Hi Humble voyager,
I guess those are the important questions.
The experience itself is the most intense one I can imagine anyone to have, but how does that translate to the day to day life.

For around 10 days I had reactivations every night, each one different. From dreams where I would find myself and then merge with myself to go into the totality state,
to another one where I would lie on a table with my arms stretched upwards and I would be holding my feet making a short circuit which would take me back to that state, to many time just going there, with different 'flavours' intensities and depths. During daytime I felt good, I felt my body very much, in a kind of pleasant way. I would feel quite present.
But like with many experiences these type of feelings start to fade away, and life as it was comes back to the forefront, leaving the experience as a memory impossible to recall.
It is hard to say how it has changed me, I am in the process of self-discovery anyway, so this experience is just part of this ongoing voyage. As part of my journey I have done some sweatlodges a couple of weeks after the experience and I have gone deeper than ever before, releasing some past trauma that had been waiting a long time.
When I had this experience I thought I would never smoke again, but now I feel its calling me, although the mere thought of doing it sends my heart beating fast... the ego knows it will get shattered again.
A good friend of mine smoked recently and his reaction was very interesting. He started screaming LIFE after only 5 minutes. He screamed life for a while and then screamed I CHOSE YOU and I LOVE YOU. When talking to him after he said that after experiencing totality and then feeling that he actually was a living human being, but that he could very well stop breathing and continue in this totality state, he then decided that he chose LIFE, hence very consciously although energetically still completely bouyant he started screaming LIFE. He was very happy afterwards, and still is 3 days after, with usual re-activations during the night.

It really concerns me how this experience can be integrated. Am I really ready for it, can I really hold something like that, can anyone? why should I do it again? why do I want to go through it again? will it help me? and also very importantly should i recommend it? my take on this so far is to just honestly explain what happened to me and to state its very real risks, particularly to people who I feel will have a hard time to let go. So far its been good to 3 friends I have shared the smoke with. Its interesting that my first dreams after trying it the first time, where all about sharing and spreading the experience with others.
all these are questions that are present with me regarding this experience.

I would love to hear how others are integrating their 5meo experiences and how they are dealing with the sharing and with the re-taking of the medicine and how it is affecting their lifes generally.

Thank you.

3
5-MeO-DMT Experiences and Testimonials / Ripped open by 18mg
« on: September 05, 2017, 01:09:09 AM »
Hello, I guess the title got your attention.
I am a 40 year old living in London... I have not tried the toad but yesterday I tried 5-Me0-DMT for the third time and this experience has ripped me wide open.
The first time I tried was very intense and I did indeed go directly into a non-dual state, but there was just a momentary recognition of the fact at the beginning 'this is it'
and then the reconfiguration of the humanoid when coming back, which was quite hard for brief moments. After that I felt good, and I had a few reactivations.
Now yesterday was at a completely different level. I was conscious or I was consciousness the whole time, and there was nothing else but pure complete absolute infinity.
This is a singularity in my life. A before and after. There is no more intensity than this.

I vaporized  18mg of pure 5-MEO-DMT, lying down on my bed, with my good friend Pol as a sitter. The effect was immediate. I was infinity/eternity/absolute but for a little while I had some kind of 'time conscience' so while being expanded in this infinite plane, i was still somewhat aware that this was an experience. but this didn't last long and then I was just ABSOLUTE INFINITY. I have a recollection, when coming back that this infinity was infinite energy, and that I had been screaming on the top of my lungs; in the same way that this infinity is pure fullness i had the impression that my screams were mirroring this sensation. When I came back I was standing up, looking straight. Pol was holding me and asked me if I was OK, i said yes and lied down and slowly came back to this world feeling a complete surrender of the body to the energy that was flowing through it. There was no difficulty coming back, it was perfectly smooth, the same pure energy was flowing through me without resistance, but I was back and I was actually glad to be back!
Pol later told me that for the first few minutes I was lying down motionless, but my feet started vibrating very very fast, and it was shaking the bed like a washing machine -he even took a little video clip- later I took a big gulp of air, like if I had been underwater for some time. Then I sat on the bed, looked at him and smiled bewildered, I got up and  went toward him like I was going for a hug, so he stood up,  I stared at him close and straight and started screaming first quietly and finally at the top of my lungs: WE ARE... WE ARE... WE ARE... WE ARE... WE ARE... WE ARE... WE ARE... WE ARE... and then I started screaming (again at the very top of my lungs) repeatedly the word ETERNITY without pause so the word eventually became unintelligible, and ended just screaming fully TA TA TA TA TA TA TA TA TA TA TA, all the while my feet were thumping rhythmically against the floor and my eyes completely wide open but not seeing anything. this went on for like 5-10 minutes, very very loud. My friend was very scared thinking that i had totally lost it. I also had been embracing him but like hitting him fast and rhythmically on the back tap tap tap tap. he said that after a while of freaking out he himself relaxed through deep breathing as he knew that this would be the best way to get me to relax -he did not think i was having a good trip at all- and then finally I  I started going quieter and relaxing and found myself standing there. I do not recall anything that my body did during the experience. During the relaxation I could only marvel at the fact of being alive and how incredibly perfect and beautiful reality is.
later after having had lied down and talked about this we embraced and there was this incredible energy of complete self-belief that we CAN DO ANYTHING, it was a perfect ending for the journey.
later at night I had trouble sleeping, because every time I would drift into sleep I would be falling back into the infinite, and I was scared that I would not come back, or that I would start screaming again. So i ended up doing a bit of rape which felt like putting pureness into purity, and then after a couple of hours managed to sleep, but it was all the time falling into the infinite in different ways, in dreams, asleep, awake and semi-awake.and it always felt as the COMPLETE ABSOLUTE even though it wasnt exactly the same ultra-intese feeling of infinite energy as before. After a couple of hours I could see that I could get out of the state of absolute at will and that it was fine.
Today I feel quite amazing, its hard to explain, the feeling is still there. All flowing all perfect. Listening to Adashanti talks on youtube which make PERFECT SENSE. Everything is infinite. Thank you for reading. Love.

3 days later
This is ann update on how the re-activations have been happening: They continue pretty much when I go to sleep, but they have followed different stages. The first one (second time i sleep after the experience) was a reactivation period of about 2 hours where the non-dual state kept breaking into 2 or doubling, very strange, and I would break out of it when I became conscious of it, and this would always leave me with a strange anxiety that I was doing something wrong, but deep down I knew it was OK.. this felt incremental as the 'infinities' got bigger. On the next sleep period I went into a deeper complete unified totality, which was round and static, and on the final sleep period I went into the purest total complete infinite oness experience, this time the feeling was of complete pureness and clarity. on these were different periods of sleep, the experience has gone deeper into the total self, leaving me feeling totally blissed out. I don't know where this is going, but I know that it is totally fine to not know. Thank you all for reading and for the kind words. much love.

4
Introductions/Newbies / Re: Ripped wide open with 18mg
« on: September 04, 2017, 02:04:09 AM »
Hi Gurude,


I strongly advice you have a sitter. You don't know what your body is going to do while you are 'away' so a person you can trust to keep you safe is very important.
Also it is important for coming back, which can be very difficult and a trusted person can help you get it together and start integrating.

I don't know about Salvia, had minor doses ages ago and I could see it can take you very far.
But what I know and can tell is this: there is nothing more powerful than 5-meo, there can't be. It takes you there, and I am tired of putting names to it... but yeah infinity, god, eternity you name it.
People who have not liked 5-meo were obviously not prepared or ready to take it.
You must have this deep craving to go to this place, to go beyond yourself, to go beyond this world, to seek the truth above everything else.
Its more than just wanting to 'heal' yourself, although this can happen.
It is on another plane than DMT, and than anything else for that matter.
It is not about being better or worse. It depends on what the use is for: 5-meo is the best tool to get you to experience the truth: that we all are the infinite pure eternal self
but you have to really want this, more than being whatever you think you are now.
and even then maybe it will only happen to some people...
best of luck.

5
Introductions/Newbies / Re: Ripped wide open with 18mg
« on: September 02, 2017, 10:19:25 AM »
Hi Gurude,

It is normal to feel anxiety as a part of you knows that it has to die in order to experience that. And there is a not knowing if you will fully surrender, but here is the prize, 5-meo is so powerful, that it will most likely obliterate any resistance to it, and this is why maybe starting low is not such a good idea, because the likelyhood of your ego resisting will increase. So maybe not 18mg, but maybe around 10? Not sure it can become your teacher, but you will find out that the whole reality is your teacher. There is nothing to fear.
Apparently it is very useful with addictions -from what I read- and from what I experienced, I can see it working that way. Good luck with sourcing, and remember to have a quiet and safe place and a good sitter (or two!)

6
Introductions/Newbies / Ripped wide open with 18mg
« on: September 02, 2017, 09:10:52 AM »
Hello, I guess the title got your attention.
I am a 40 year old living in London... I have not tried the toad but yesterday I tried 5-Me0-DMT for the third time and this experience has ripped me wide open.
The first time I tried was very intense and I did indeed go directly into a non-dual state, but there was just a momentary recognition of the fact at the beginning 'this is it'
and then the reconfiguration of the humanoid when coming back, which was quite hard for brief moments. After that I felt good, and I had a few reactivations.
Now yesterday was at a completely different level. I was conscious or I was consciousness the whole time, and there was nothing else but pure complete absolute infinity.
This is a singularity in my life. A before and after. There is no more intensity than this.

I vaporized  18mg of pure 5-MEO-DMT, lying down on my bed, with my good friend Pol as a sitter. The effect was immediate. I was infinity/eternity/absolute but for a little while I had some kind of 'time conscience' so while being expanded in this infinite plane, i was still somewhat aware that this was an experience. but this didn't last long and then I was just ABSOLUTE INFINITY. I have a recollection, when coming back that this infinity was infinite energy, and that I had been screaming on the top of my lungs; in the same way that this infinity is pure fullness i had the impression that my screams were mirroring this sensation. When I came back I was standing up, looking straight. Pol was holding me and asked me if I was OK, i said yes and lied down and slowly came back to this world feeling a complete surrender of the body to the energy that was flowing through it. There was no difficulty coming back, it was perfectly smooth, the same pure energy was flowing through me without resistance, but I was back and I was actually glad to be back!
Pol later told me that for the first few minutes I was lying down motionless, but my feet started vibrating very very fast, and it was shaking the bed like a washing machine -he even took a little video clip- later I took a big gulp of air, like if I had been underwater for some time. Then I sat on the bed, looked at him and smiled bewildered, I got up and  went toward him like I was going for a hug, so he stood up,  I stared at him close and straight and started screaming first quietly and finally at the top of my lungs: WE ARE... WE ARE... WE ARE... WE ARE... WE ARE... WE ARE... WE ARE... WE ARE... and then I started screaming (again at the very top of my lungs) repeatedly the word ETERNITY without pause so the word eventually became unintelligible, and ended just screaming fully TA TA TA TA TA TA TA TA TA TA TA, all the while my feet were thumping rhythmically against the floor and my eyes completely wide open but not seeing anything. this went on for like 5-10 minutes, very very loud. My friend was very scared thinking that i had totally lost it. I also had been embracing him but like hitting him fast and rhythmically on the back tap tap tap tap. he said that after a while of freaking out he himself relaxed through deep breathing as he knew that this would be the best way to get me to relax -he did not think i was having a good trip at all- and then finally I  I started going quieter and relaxing and found myself standing there. I do not recall anything that my body did during the experience. During the relaxation I could only marvel at the fact of being alive and how incredibly perfect and beautiful reality is.
later after having had lied down and talked about this we embraced and there was this incredible energy of complete self-belief that we CAN DO ANYTHING, it was a perfect ending for the journey.
later at night I had trouble sleeping, because every time I would drift into sleep I would be falling back into the infinite, and I was scared that I would not come back, or that I would start screaming again. So i ended up doing a bit of rape which felt like putting pureness into purity, and then after a couple of hours managed to sleep, but it was all the time falling into the infinite in different ways, in dreams, asleep, awake and semi-awake.and it always felt as the COMPLETE ABSOLUTE even though it wasnt exactly the same ultra-intese feeling of infinite energy as before. After a couple of hours I could see that I could get out of the state of absolute at will and that it was fine.
Today I feel quite amazing, its hard to explain, the feeling is still there. All flowing all perfect. Listening to Adashanti talks on youtube which make PERFECT SENSE. Everything is infinite. Thank you for reading. Love.

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