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Messages - Curador

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16
General Discussion / Anyone else - WBAC 2019
« on: June 04, 2019, 10:52:58 AM »
The 2019 World Bufo Alvarius Congress happening July 26-28 was brought to my attention yesterday.  Didn't know...
Anyone have info on other speakers?
Anyone experience last year? 

Thoughts on connecting with others?
Kind regards,
Curador

17
Toad Experiences and Testimonials / Re: My Non-Dual Experience
« on: June 02, 2019, 11:57:52 AM »
Thank you for acknowledging it.IME=in my experience, IMO=in my opinion

 -   I am willing to see differently all I make up to be true    -
Re:  how many times

This was my first with 5MeO.  May 13, 2019 around 11:30 somewhere in Europe I intentionally experienced what I’ve been after since I was a youth.  Intentional in the sense you mean it by seeking earnestly but not having an attachment to what the experience might be like.

“Knowing” what I do now, given that it is an endogenous material it is accurate to say I’ve experienced the molecule many times, but I did not understand that’s what I was experiencing.

I’ve had an intentional mushroom experience, two three-day ceremonies with ayahuasca.  I don’t really count my recreational encounters as a teenager.

5MeO…Yes, the greatest gift…so far. 

Gift… a new perspective of that word today, but how true.

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Re:  this experience not being for everyone…

What I mean is not everyone could tolerate the experience and be okay afterward or even during. 
IME not everyone is open to taking something, on purpose, to simulate having an experience that is like dying or coming back from dying.   
My experience has been that the other psychedelics seemed to use my accumulation of life and my ego to help me “let go”  and trust the experience, grok what feeling Safe means and trusting Love might have my best interest at heart, so-to-speak.  Thus, teaching me to be still enough in the 5MeO experience to transcend all of that accumulation and attachment and know I’ll be ok whatever the outcome.

IMO Some will forever be addicted to the story of their lives and are unable to consider detaching from it to experience the truth of annihilation.  The thought of “you are nothing” doesn’t appeal to many.  For many, the idea of no-self isn’t tolerable in their body or their mind nor can they even imagine what that might mean.

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Re:  my “practice”

In this life my conscious path likely started at 13 when I had the notion that it was ludicrous to think that to experience “God” one had to adopt a certain one religion to have that experience and it was the only way.  It was impossible for me to adopt any dogma which would alienate anyone or anything in our perceived existence.  I’ve followed the thought: If god is available to us all, what stands in our way?  (I do not know why a 13-year-old would have such thoughts)

Today I get the intention of religion and have compassion for those having their human limited experience of it as it is currently taught.

I’ve had some type of yoga intention since I was a teen which is over 40 years.  Yoga in the classic eastern sense to create a "being" of union of body mind and soul not physical exercise as is the primary use in the west.

IMO anyone who is seeking in earnest and has some practice of ego deflation, being still, and accepting everything -- and I mean EVERYTHING as the way it is -- without judgement, emotion and thought of any kind and can practice observing might have a similar experience with this substance or any religion or "way" in its perfect intention. ***If they wanted to***

(IMO “Curly” had it right, the secret is “one thing”)

That has been my “practice” since getting sober in a personal growth seminar using similar techniques as EST, with a spiritual leaning, over 22 years ago. 

Since that time, I’ve also experienced many modalities of healing work without the use of external substances for 21 years.  I’ve had many Kundalini activations and have not formally used Kundalini but whatever intuitively seemed right for me at the time to move the energy.  I’ve not been able to have a full release using just my intention or stillness on my own.

I believe that all my experiences made possible this recent “Happening”.

All my psychedelic experiences made all religions make sense. 
My perspective on Life is forever changed.I want to be a guide for others who seek in earnest to experience it and hold space for them as was gifted to me.

Having had this type of experience I am convinced that all religions came from others having a similar experience, then the verbal sharing of the experience to friends, others wanting to have the experience and techniques developed, then rituals, then rules, then written words, then translations into other languages, then control, then exclusion, then belief, then blind faith, then confusion, then chaos, now shit.

fortunately, good shit can grow good stuff
and a weed now tended is no longer a weed
and the fungus among us seems really our friend
and who knew the toad was so holy

We live in interesting times.

18
Toad Experiences and Testimonials / My Non-Dual Experience
« on: May 28, 2019, 07:43:03 AM »
     5MeO-DMT helped me have the most sublime human experience I’ve encountered up to this moment.                        THIS IS NOT AN ENDORSEMENT OR SUGGESTION TO DO IT !!                                                                                                       
     The following is only my experience.For more than a year my journey through life has been in a pursuit to realize healing from a tragedy no parent should have to endure.

     My desire was to experience the sacred in such a way that would restore my faith in life and inspire me to keep living it happily. When I started, a little over a year ago, I didn’t know smoking the crystallized venom of an animal was even a thing, let alone might produce a difference of point of view that would forever change the way I think and feel about and navigate my life.                           

   That said, it was such a short experience, a very big one but lasting only 10 minutes.  Add another 10 minutes for gently reintegrating into my body and enjoying the sensation makes it 20 minutes total.      I did exactly as my guide told me to do.  He explained for some time what I might expect, how he might help if things got too intense and even how to draw the smoke from the water pipe given his years personal experience and of tending others.  He told me to do nothing if I encountered anything, to just let it happen and be as still and relaxed and open as I can. 
     As I inhaled all I could hold of the smoke from the pipe I released the pipe into his hands and deliberately lay my head back on the pillow at the end of the mat.  As soon as I did a massive sensation of the deepest relaxation I’ve ever felt came over me. My body exhaled and sighed as it was too much effort to hold the breathe any longer.  The sense of me or I fell away.
     A humming sound or sensation, not loud or soft, was present and there was an awareness of geometric shapes and lines whisking past the mind’s eye as if being sucked into a tunnel and picking up speed. There may have been a slight sense of fear but from that moment in memory there was only becoming aware of being in a place of absolutely pure, brilliant white.

I can’t say it was light, but I’ll call it that, since there seemed to be no origin or point of beginning or direction or end. It was all around and the point of reference was from something like within.  There was nothing, no feelings, no thoughts, no sound, anything, yet there was a sense of perfect contentment.

I must have been “on my way back” since I started to notice my hands and arms. I lifted them up and saw nothing more than silhouettes and now my eyes are feeling like they are wide open. As I “look” at this white I suddenly inhale as if seeing the most magnificent thing I’ve ever gazed upon. In my periphery my hands looked abnormal like they had fewer fingers and they were longer. I made no effort to look closer but continued to gaze at then center. The sensation seemed like awe. You could say I gasped but softer and slower with wonder and surprise. The kind of wonder a child would have opening a present never imagined receiving but being so grateful upon opening it you could see that this was an experience of a new sense of joy, deeper than anything the child had ever felt before.

Gratitude and joy were all that existed. As I perceived my hands which didn’t feel like my hands but I felt a part of them surrounded an orb of light hardly distinguishable by an almost imperceptible line defining the orb. It was like  balancing the orb in the middle of the hands.  As I moved them  like a movement in tai chi I inhaled in wonder again as if I just became aware that this was the universe or earth.  It is all light and it is being loved on and held in this space of love since it is love, beyond understanding, that causes this phenomenon to occur and be sustained.  That was my sense of understanding.

Nothing mattered, Yet it is all loved, Beyond understanding, Which makes it all possible and acceptable.

I was in this state of bliss for the remainder of my time. I felt nothing but infinite joy and gratitude then love moved through me causing my body to weep gently as I continued to stay with this light as long as I could.  The moment I noticed being hooked by any emotion or thought I would simply and gently bring my awareness back to the light again and would feel or notice the blissful state.  I was calm and happy.

I became aware of my guide and feeling so moved I reached for his hand in a gesture of thanks. I gently squeezed his hand, belly giggled, held it long enough for him to know that all was well and released it placing my arm back on the floor with my palms up.  He had been quietly at my side the entire time. A perfect shepherd. I felt profound love and appreciation for him. Shortly after, I sensed him move on to the kitchen. He knew I was safe and started to prepare our meal.

I was experiencing the greatest sense of ecstasy my body could tolerate and wept gently all the while keeping my focus in the white.  My thoughts were few and I found my self just noticing and appreciating.  My breathe was relaxed and deep. I felt bliss beyond anything I have experienced prior. .

There were no entities, there was no thought and as for emotional states what I think I was experiencing was the awareness of these but not getting attached to anything. This was glory, this was beauty and the essence I sensed was that ‘this is life and it is on purpose and that is all it needs to be’.  It was the simplest of ideas that life itself is the only purpose.

I thought, this must be heaven and wished it could last but I knew I was re-entering the normal state of being,  I gently touched my face with my fingers. They were cool and when I did I had the sense that I was alive and felt a new sense of gratitude for my own life. It was invigorating and I felt more alive.
Again, gratitude. Again, joy.  I belly laughed from deep within. As I write this it makes me smile and chuckle.
I’m happy to believe that what I experienced might be what it’s like after this body breathes no more.

I think I got what I wanted and then some.  (Big Smile and Chuckle)


It was the most beautiful experience I’ve ever had so far in this body.

Disclaimer:  5MeO-DMT is not for everyone and my experience may not be typical!

This is not like my mushroom or ayahuasca experiences. I’d not been able to reach a point of “separation” from the ego in those experiences. They come on slower and, for me, there has always been a point of reference from my ego going deeper, then resistance.
In this experience the opposite seemed true.  When I fully inhaled there was no turning back in any way.  Once I felt it come on there was no time for bargaining.  I was gone.
I guess you could liken it to hiking up a mountain and summiting after the climb (ingesting ayahuasca or mushrooms).
This was like being flown to the summit blindfolded first and then becoming aware when at the summit. Then, it was a matter of riding the descent smoothly. That’s kind of what it was like for me anyway. 
I also think my experience was as a result of 22 years of practicing letting go of my ego, meditation practice, emotional cathartic work, ordeal processes, sensory deprivation work, some decent awareness of eastern thought and belief and practice and more than a few psychedelic experiences which have been intentional. That stated, I might have just been lucky.
But!! Maybe most important was my guide. I cannot say enough about his expertise and love really...and thoughtfulness.  I think he would do it for free if he didn’t have expenses and now I know why. My God, if I had only known earlier in my life this kind of experience were possible…
I am positive that his long personal experience with this substance and his experience guiding others is the other main reason I had this type of experience. From vetting appropriate clients (this method is not for everyone) to preparation as to set and setting, then amount to use and delivery system all helped make this experience possible.
If you do decide this is for you please invest the time in researching about it and a guide. 

Added June 6.  Dosage...I was asked.  50/50 Natural and Lab synth and the sheddings of the toad to act as the medium to smoke it in.  This to prevent the crystal from passing through the pipe into my throat.  appr 14mg tipping 15mg.  My guide held the flame as I held the small water pipe.  Very smooth, no bitter taste.
Long steady draw after exhaling first, filling lungs completely then holding my breath until I couldn't.

This is not an endorsement for doing this.

19
Introductions/Newbies / Hello
« on: May 28, 2019, 07:07:36 AM »
Hi Rafael here.


Living in AZ, looking for others who consciously have experienced 5MeO.  Mine was recent, Two weeks ago. 50/50 blend natural and lab not in US.


Experienced total oneness and white space, infinite gratitude, joy and love.  aya and psilo did not allow complete separation from “me”.   I’ll post an experience report. ‘My Non Dual Experience’


I revere the animal and see the need for its protection now.  I want to find data and others experienced with the 100% synthetic version.


Looking forward to connecting to good people, research and information.

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