Author Topic: The Reactivations Thread  (Read 1353 times)

Offline HumbleVoyager

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The Reactivations Thread
« on: July 15, 2019, 08:49:33 AM »
As reactivations are an issue that has come up frequently, I thought I would create a large thread that can be one place for reactivation discussions to take place.

Here are some snippets of info that we have around the forums thus far regarding reactivations:
Thread with good integration advice and thoughts on things one can do when experiencing reactivations:
https://forums.5meodmt.org/index.php?topic=50754.msg55482
Thanks @HumbleVoyger. I may look into somatic experiencing later down the line, but yes, yoga and particularly more rigorous physical exercise has been very beneficial in helping me to integrate/ground into my body. Things seem to be normalizing more and more, but I noted the same thing one week ago and then had another sleepless night... But ultimately it's only when going to sleep that I'm having intimations of reactivations, and mostly minor ones, relative to the prior weeks (aside from last week's sleepless night just mentioned). Mostly it's lots of intensely psychedelic activity behind closed eyes as I try to fall asleep.


I saw this posted in another integration thread by @Flux, and I think it sums up my feelings very well on things at the moment:

"Often one of the overlooked aspects of integration is the everyday mundane tasks...washing up, showering, sitting in the sun, walking to the shops, etc. people rush to embrace other spiritual modalities like Vipassana meditation, Kundalini yoga, Wim Hof breathing, etc...when what is most needed is not to facilitate any further 'awakening' but to anchor the one that 5-MeO has catalysed"

Thread with some information about reactivations and how they may occur
https://forums.5meodmt.org/index.php?topic=50880.msg55897
It appears that reactivations are most common when large doses of 5-MeO-DMT are consumed, shocking the system and creating a traumatic response that is later triggered in the form of a “reactivation”. To avoid this potentially difficult aspect of integration, using the lowest effective dose when vaporizing or using a lowest effective dose with a  route of administration that has a slower onset (such as insufflation) might be preferable. Reactivations seem to occur when people are falling asleep or engaged in meditative practices so it may be unlikely for a reactivation to happen during a presentation.

That being said, I think following those guidelines may help in preventing unwanted effects after the experience.

A thread tracking someone's experience as they worked through reactivations with suggestions
https://forums.5meodmt.org/index.php?topic=50714.msg55384
Hi there mrnothing -
it seems that physical activity helps greatly with reactivations, grounding especially but being in nature, swimming, running and yes, yoga. In terms of the blank canvas effect, this is not uncommon and can occur with other psychedelics too. What I would suggest is start trying new things in order to build up new connections to meaningful actions... learn an instrument, learn a language, try painting or drawing, or anything creative, volunteer something that could use your help... the sense of being in service is really valuable.
all the best,
Flux

Great thread on "Kundalini" type energetic activations and ideas for resourcing
https://forums.5meodmt.org/index.php?topic=50660.0


Anyways that should be good to start off. Feel free to comment on any of the above topics or quotes or simply start sharing your own experiences. Hopefully this thread will be a good place for people to talk about reactivations and get help in working through issues of their own!

 <3

Offline Doc Gooden

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Re: The Reactivations Thread
« Reply #1 on: July 15, 2019, 08:35:50 PM »
     I'm 5 days past my first toad medicine experience. It was an emotionally traumatizing experience (one I'm glad I did and will do again, but one I was not ready for at all). I was numb the first day and a half. The second night I woke up deep inside a reactivation. All the memories of the journey returned that I had repressed. I was frightened. "what did I do to myself" "am I changed forever" "it won't ever let me go" etc.  Also returning were some of the enjoyable physical sensations which I could allow myself after I had read a ton of online material, especially the reactivation guidelines. Thereafter however I was plagued with the sense that I could not fully come back, that part of me was caught there. I was distracted, emotionally labile, obsessing over the details of the journey, who said what, what happened next. I felt like I had to account for the experience so I couldn't/wouldn't let it go--didn't really want to let it go. I would burst into tears easily and then just as easily the sadness would disappear.
     The biggest help was seeing a shrink, a reintegration specialist recommended by the provider, who works specifically with helping people make full use of their psychedelic experiences. A very very experienced and kind and solid guy. What I needed was to sob deeply. The rug of my world/reality had been pulled out from under me and I had some mourning to do for my lost world and my lost sense of self (I know this sounds dramatic), and some mourning for letting go of the toad experience itself. The large emotional release was critical for me to find a bridge between the experience of the medicine and my every day life--it is still a work in progress. There continues to exist this gulf between what I experienced and what I can tell my friends. I also got some GABA which I find has been helpful. It has given me the confidence to sleep--which I had been a little bit afraid of doing, letting go into relaxation. The experience has preoccupied my thinking whenever I've had downtime. I've had intrusive thoughts when I was in the midst of something else. Its been a slow return to reality primarily facilitated by emotional release to someone I trusted and who was "in the know." Caffeine and rhodiola have been quite activating.
     In my moments of loving the experience I have invited family to do it again with me. Then a few hours later changed my mind and disinvited the. I'm still a bit all over the place but its slowing down considerably. Just writing this has been fun and helpful....DG
« Last Edit: July 15, 2019, 09:58:58 PM by Doc Gooden »

Offline SeekingEnlightenment

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Overstimulation and Insomnia: How Long and How to Deal?
« Reply #2 on: January 09, 2020, 09:03:43 PM »

Hello Toad Sisters and Brothers!

I just introduced myself here:https://forums.5meodmt.org/index.php?topic=51006.0

I could really use the insight and wisdom of others more experienced than I.

Just over a week ago I had my first complete 5-MeO experience, after a partial experience last spring. The earlier experience was 100% positive--all love/joy, and no side effects. So there was no way I could anticipate my second experience, which was more complete, and yet also so much more difficult--especially in the extended physical side effects.

I experienced ego dissolution, infinite awareness, a state beyond bliss. For 15 minutes. And then I experienced an incredibly jarring re-entry into bodily awareness. Intense over-stimulation. Wild involuntary movements. Confusion and terror. That only lasted 20 minutes.

But the after-effects keep going and going. No sleep for 36 hours. Disturbed and confused sleep most nights since. Periods of intense physical over-stimulation where my heart will pound hard. My dosage was in the middle of the "strong" range (15 mg), but I have reason to believe I am extra sensitive to 5-MeO. (My previous experience was at a dosage no one else in the group responded to, but I had a profound experience on it.) Also, I reportedly held my breath longer than most do. The dose I got was without question too high for me.


I have experienced God, from the inside. The experience was beyond what I could have hoped. And yet, now, I'm frightened about how long it will take my body to readjust and normalize. The sleep deprivation causes all kinds of problems of its own. The trend is toward improvement. But it's a slow and irregular trend.


I don't know what's happening, for how long, or what to do about it.


I want to integrate the beautiful realizations I've had into my life, but much of my attention seems to be taken up by dealing with the upending of my ordinary life by all the wild physical after-effects.


How long might I expect the physical after-shocks to continue? And what can I do to return my body to normalcy, calm it down, and get some good sleep...?


I know sleep problems are not uncommon, and I'm sure much of this sounds familiar to a number of others. I could sure use the wisdom of your experience.


SE

Offline HumbleVoyager

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Re: Overstimulation and Insomnia: How Long and How to Deal?
« Reply #3 on: March 01, 2020, 06:50:39 AM »
Hello SE,
And sorry for the late reply. How are these symptoms now? Have they improved?

I’m thinking we can probably merge this with the Reactivations thread (https://forums.5meodmt.org/index.php?topic=50940.0) so that it’s all in one place for folks.

That being said, what you’re describing is something that seems to happen quite often with people vaporizing larger doses of 5-MeO-DMT. It seems the slow but irregular trend towards improvement is a commonality in all of these reactivations reports and that the best things are to be able to do some kind of physical activity like dancing or yoga, use of supplements such as valerian or kava for sleep, and have time where you are not suppressing the effects and are able to work with a therapist who can support you through this process. Ideally a trauma-informed somatic therapist.

Please do keep us updated, as this information is invaluable to others who may be going through the same thing.

Wishing you all the best,
HV

Offline alchemystic

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Re: The Reactivations Thread
« Reply #4 on: April 04, 2020, 03:16:14 AM »
I'm glad I found this thread because I see others experience what I been experiencing. Reactivations as I'm falling asleep. I got them the first few days after the bufo ceremony, and they went away but recently started again about 2 months after. I been remembering dreams where I'm seeing things like infinity and some panic hits me. A lot of panic sometimes. I been feeling anxiety around this. For the first couple of weeks after the ceremony I felt amazing. Lately I been feeling anxiety. Drinking a small dose of Ayahuasca a couple of times recently helped but I'm still clearly in need of integrating.


So physical exercise and yoga helps with this?