Author Topic: Excited, grateful, and nervous newbie  (Read 124 times)

Offline JWC

  • Tadpole
  • *
  • Posts: 4
  • Karma: +0/-0
    • View Profile
Excited, grateful, and nervous newbie
« on: April 03, 2020, 05:28:14 PM »
Hi Folks,

I had my first 5MeO-DMT experience recently, which was also my first psychedelic experience ever. And while the experience itself was somewhat terrifying, I’ve noticed and been grateful for significant positive outcomes in my life. I am already signed up for a second round in a couple months and am eager to explore and learn more as a help for preparation and integration.

I recently heard a guide describe my present feelings perfectly: “When people come to us for the first time, they’re understandably nervous because they’re unsure about what they’re getting into. But if they come to us a second time, then they’re REALLY terrified because now they know what they’re getting themselves into!” The initial part of my experience was very similar to what Michael Pollan described in his book, How To Change Your Mind—a hyper-fast, disorienting plunge into no-thing, no-thing, no-thing, no time/space, no self/other, without a sense of the bliss or unity consciousness or union with the Divine that others often describe. Meanwhile, according to my guides' report afterwards, while my consciousness was elsewhere,my body was moving and vocalizing quite a bit, and I seem to have evacuated some trauma likely related to birth and infancy as a result, which was a blessing. Still, while I don’t have a lot of doubts about doing 5MeO-DMT again, I am nervous!

I have been spiritually motivated all my adult life, including taking temporary vows as a Catholic monk, and believe that I have a good grounding in spiritual practice, community, and mystical thought to support integration. That said, while the spiritual dimension of the 5MeO-DMT experience greatly interests me, my primary motivation thus far has been the healing of early trauma.

JWC  _/|\_