Lessons & Values from Repeat Sessions

[Lopsided Nobody]

I had my first toad experience in February. My experience was awe inspiring and very positive, and felt like becoming one with everything, losing connection with my body and identity. There was some slight instinctive resistance, but overall it was as smooth as what was a violent storm of an experience can be. I did three rounds, the first one was probably a moderate does. The second and third were larger doses and that's where I felt like I was one with God and the Universe and all creation and the Divine. Not a bad way to spend a Saturday afternoon, eh? The third felt unnecessary, but I wanted that to use for moving forward.

I did not experience God as an entity so much as, well, everything. And my guide described it as we are all God experiencing through ourselves. For me it felt like we are from the universe, but along those lines. It also felt like what I would describe as a "born again" washing away of everything. There was a rocketing away from our consensually shared reality, a dissolution of self, then an experience of what felt like clarity before my nervous system reconnected with my body. It really felt a LOT like what Christians describe as being born again, only in a highly visceral and experiential way.

My guide said for most people the effects tend to last for a year and then after a year a second round is useful as a reminder of what was learned/experienced. I also suspect that revisiting that experience after a year can help me reflect on the changes made, what old patterns I may have fallen into, and perhaps having the wisdom of the first experience and some time I may find something else comes from it. At worst, it will be a powerful experience and a reminder of...well, whatever the hell you want to call it.

As for my question, I am curious what those of you who do 5-MeO-DMT with any regularity, or who have simply done additional sessions after your first experience, have found you got out of it.

In a sense, it feels like I climbed the mountain, met or communed with God/Existence/whatever, and had the clear thought that nothing would ever be the same. There is both a sense of "what now?" as well as a sense of "What more am I really looking for from this?" There does not seem to be a need which I find is a great space to be in. Those questions are not meant to be negative at all, but rather open-ended questions to which I likely do not have a real concrete answer to. However, I am also open to having it be something I may learn from. Another psychonaut friend of mine does psychedelics twice a year as a sacrament and that also holds some resonance. I do not want do it just to do it, however I also like the idea of some sacred purpose. If I never do it again, I feel very much at peace with that. If repeat experiences somehow offer something of value, I am also very open to that as well.

I would love to hear any thoughts or experiences. Thank you in advance.